i just turned 20.

[velasquezk12]

i just turned 20 on may 12 and i still feel as miserable as i did at 19. right now i just woke up out of my sleep and had an anxiety attack. im so sick and tired of this i hate this feeling nothing i do helps. being genuinely happy will never happen for me. i feel like im going to feel trapped forever. everyday feels like a battle with me vs my mind. idk what i did to deserve this, i used to be so carefree and happy n i dont think i would ever feel like that again bc im so afraid of everything. i wish it would just stop. i pray everyday for every one i love and even people i dont speak to anymore, and for anyone feeling hopeless during these hard times.. and for myself to feel like my old self again, or someone better. hopefully soon my prayers will be answered. i want to be as positive as possible but those negative thoughts seem to creep back up again and its hard not to hear them.

[Rachel2535]

Oh I so get that! Negative thoughts consumed me for so many years. They still try to sneak up in brain. What we have to do is retrain our brain so they no longer have power to do that. Have you read the book Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer? It might be helpful. Also a counselor can help you retrain your brain and help you start seeing yourself through the eyes of God and not your own eyes. God sees beauty, spotless beauty thanks to Jesus. Your kindness and love to pray for others is inspiring. I am praying for you and encourage you to fight back against the negativity and using verses to combat that is a great start! -Rachel.....2 Timothy 1:7

[Hidden in reply to Rachel2535]

Excellent book by Joyce Meyers. Battlefield in the Mind. I am very familiar with negative thinking ..I have insomnia..chronic ..nothing helps..but I do get panic attacks about 4 am and my Therapist gave me meditation videos that are all on YouTube so it won't cost a cent. There's one that's an emergency meditation video that's 11 minutes long that helps me greatly. I have others that are longer.

Do you have a Therapist? I highly suggest one because hooking up with one you like is someone you can meet with and set goals and work on them ..maybe medication. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy techniques work wonders. I used to teach my teens to Thought Stop when they had a negative thought and replace it with a positive , journaling in the form of writing, art or collages is a wonderful creative way to express positive feelings because I hear that you want to be positive and that's an awesome place to start. You are motivated and that's a huge giant leap in the best direction for you do let's keep going..you can do it you sound very strong. XX♥️⚓🌻💪

[CoderMom]

Prayer is always a good thing. You could pray for peace, guidance, and direction. Let God tell you what he has for you and pray for his provision and protection.

[red_door]

You didn't do anything wrong, love. You are worthy to be here as you are right now. There is no one "better." You are already good enough.

Please know that whoever makes you question your value is projecting their own trauma onto you. It's not yours to carry. You deserve happiness right now. There are no rules for who deserves happiness.

Here's a writer I find really inspiring. Her TedTalk is awesome, I copied the url below.

Happy belated birthday!

youtu.be/babcNWX64yM(Not working as expected?)