Blue light, green light, white light, yellow. It’s 9pm. And the possibility of what I am seeing being obnoxious Christmas lights put up 2 days after Christmas dissipates when I can see people walking up the block as clear as daylight with there faces frozen to the sky, cellphones out yelling what’s happening...What IS THAT? I run to get my phone and see yellow phosphorus all on top of the building in the back, I take my phone and instead of running out the door to see what it is I remember all the warnings about smart bombs, nuclear fallout from living in NYC during and after 9/11. How to tape up your car to avoid contamination. Instead I call then text my ex girlfriend. I’m in the apartment we used to share cleaning out my belongings. She doesn’t pick up the phone so I write, “something happening in NYC, not sure what but if for some reason it turns out bad I got a few things to say, blah blah blah basically I love you all! I look outside and the colors are still flashing and more people entranced by them. It could be a comet, but that’s not good! And then I realized I have no mental reference for what is going on. I get palpataions and think should I make a run for it? No that’s what everyone else is going to do...I will sit here and wait for my fate, luckily it was transformer fire or so they say, I mean a massive neon blue slightly mushrooming cloud of light that illuminated most of New York City does not sound right as a small electrical fire. It was aliens.
It was aliens that offered very little compassion when I thought the end was near. Humans that are aliens in how distant they are from the passion of the moment and the little sympathy for my fears even when they are justified by cosmic occurrences. I see the people that shoulder shrug most things I do or say and then I curse myself for living amongst them. Or even knowing them. Or being one of them.
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Tikirob
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Oh my goodness..that would of scared the daylights out of me. Are you okay now? I sure hope so. May you find joy today my friend. Love, peace, light, joy & hugs for you!
It jolted me, my heart was racing and I ran up to my neighbors in case my heart did not calm down, luckily they calmed me down just by talking with me but then I felt so stupid and self aware of my anxiety, tried to think if I over reacted once again. Overall though I feel better today but I am scared to leave the house because who knows what the toxicity of the fall out is.
Hey no way should you feel stupid, that was something very scary to go through & after 911 you have every right to be! I'm so happy you had neighbors to help you out. Yea I'd be afraid to go outside too...look what faux said, my goodness... more than likely, sadly, we won't find out..they'll want to keep it from us. The U.S.A., land of the free?? I'm happy you are feeling better, I'm not sure I would be able to recover so quickly...You Go! Love, peace, light, joy & hugs for you!
New York Power Plant Explosion Seen as Glowing Reminder of Dire Need to Ditch Fossil Fuels...... here's the article: commondreams.org/news/2018/...
I worked as a power plant operator in the late 70's and will tell you that they lie lie lie about everything. They blow the stacks to clear them after so many hours of running and what comes out of them is Nitric/ sulfuric acid micro particulates. and if you had your car parked in the lot you had to cover it or you will end up with pin holes in the paint job. Imagine what the surrounding people on the streets downtown are breathing on a windy night.....or all their plants, pets, and other stuff would also be effected.
Wow!!! I am worried for myself and I am a little less than a mile away! And check it out, I called the local congressional person but both his lines are disconnected and not one need agency reports on the environmental concerns of it, it becomes a joke. Yet there is no agency to call about it. I am thinking with all things like this the truth comes out later...can I ask you a question, my Buddy was about a quarter of a mile from the site and heard and felt an audible buzzing before the sky lit up, what was that??? Thanks. And yes I feel sorry for the workers and I am sure they are all being told to be tight lipped.
While I understand the alarm you must have felt, I feel as though I must give my very uneducated but well experienced opinion. NYC... “concrete jungle where dreams are made of” is still a fabulous city to be a citizen of; the city that never sleeps, there’s nothing you can’t do there. Central Park, Madison Avenue, Empire State Building, Carnegie Deli, MoMa, Freedom tower. Dining at Peter Luger’s would all be just a pipe dream, not a distinct possibility. Hanging out in SoHo, strolling down the Avenue, 5th Avenue. Missing out on all the talents of the graffiti greats ( my fav-Basquiat! ) Viewing a screening of a new movie before anyone else in the whole US can. Grabbing the best hot dog as you sit in CitiField ( miss Shea) or Yankee stadium to catch some rays and a game. Manhattan and all its glorious traffic, Wall Street, subways that have more skin particles to breathe than air. Central Station, the hub of excitement! And all this wonder city has to offer. The benefits far outweigh the negatives, my friend. Be alert, but be happy!
(and this is all coming from a fellow site-member who was near the East River and personally witnessed the incident when the 6 person helicopter went crashing into the water.... tru dat!)
Wow you nailed it! But on the flip side it’s a place where two people with master’s degrees can not afford to buy a decent place and live in one crappy apartment to the next as the lazy landlords treat you like you are disposable. My parents bought a house in Queens for 49000 dollars, same house for my generation, 900,000 dollars. Tax money close to 38.percent of income and it gets eaten up by bureaucrats who let litter, homelessness, the subways and roads go down the tubes. 60 dollar parking tickets, 210 dollars if your bumpergoes over the crosswalk, 20 dollars for the Guggenheim, and parking meters 3.50 for 15 mins in Manhattan or half an hour minimum wage. As you said you can do more here in a day than a month in most places but the middle class is gone it’s a rich and poor city with the working poor replacing the middle class. I love it though. I am probably going to live in my car and see how it goes for a while until I can get treatment for mental illness.
An electrical transformer which steps up or steps down electricity blew up. What your friend heard was the sound of high voltage arching before it blew. That in itself is no real danger unless your in the switching yard where the transformer was and by just standing there you could get zapped.....they are full of a non conductive oil and for one to blow up is pretty rare on that high of a scale...it was probably one of the big ones where 12.5KV goes in one side and half or less comes out the other side and it's a series of these transformers till it gets to a home. There have been since the 60's pretty strict air control and is why you only see steam usually coming out of the stacks usually.....smoke had been banned and scrubbers in the stacks keep the smoke down along with more efficient fuel burning methods. London had it's own atmosphere and localized weather during the beginning of the industrial age because all the factory's and foundries billowed clouds of pollutants in the air. As did the US till everything and everybody were being coated with all the dirt and filth. It was becoming impossible to breath.....otherwise they wouldn't have done a thing.
Thanks!!! Wow that’s crazy how all that works you ever see the documentary series from England on that guy who tears down massive chimneys? He was the part of the great old school steeple jacks one of the most impressive things to watch. Thanks for all your info.
I just read your concern and run-around with NAMI. I am hoping you got somewhere with someone. Your post is bothering me because I can’t believe how ridiculously you’ve been run around. I’m so sorry about this. AND I was piping hot that they expected you to make a “contribution” during the meeting when you’re worried about where you will lie your head at night. I feel awful for you and wish I could do something constructive to help. You are obviously an intelligent man... so my hope is that you get through to someone somewhere who will actually put to action a plan for you. I will be sending you positive vibes and hoping for a solution soon. Be well and try to find that peace in your heart that has been buried by hurt. It’s still there, my friend!!
Wow, I am beaming with happiness from your kind words, THANK YOU! It feels good to have your sympathies , so many people I talk to about my mental health problems just tell me, “oh well”. I went on such a wild goose chase with NAMI and still am! That lady called me on a Sunday at 8pm and asked why I called her this past week, I told her I didn’t call you? You just called me! There is something off about her and by that I mean she was very bossy but not a good leader. She may have a mental illness too so I should take that into account. The NAMI National President was nice and apologetic, took the time to listen to me so that was nice but in the end the advice I got was to call something called the Fountainhead society?
" It Was Transformer Fire " I've Seen Them Blow & It's Everything, Light Color & All That You've Described My Friend. In Fact ? Seen It Several Times Over The Past 61 Years.....
Be At Peace Friend.....
[ ever thought you'd live a happier life outside a big city ? just a thought... ]
Haha! Yes more and more, Maine is a beauty I think I would like to try. But my roots are in Queens, 4th generation. My great grandparents grew and ate their own vegetables all year long before Queens became part of NYC. Even my father used to hunt rabbits as a kid in the park. Now their are massive condos everywhere, no rabits left. Airports, treatment plants, and con ed too. I grew up with asthma if you ever want to see something gross look up the Flushing River! Any recommendations on where to move?
WOW ! Maine IS Beautiful. What Kinda Weather Do You Like ? That Would Be The First Thing I'd Consider.... You Know ? It's Funny How People Will Actually Die Within A 50 Mile Range Of Where They Where Born.... But In Reality ? WHY ? Sure ! We Love Our Family & Friends But I Can Love'em Just As Much Elsewhere. If My Grandfather Hadn't Left Texas ? We Wouldn't Be All Here In S.C. . Heck ! Now ? I Got Family All Over The Country !* I Have Accepted The Fact That THAT Is Now Their Homes & Homesteads & If They Pass ? THAT Is Most Likely Where They Will Rest. & That's Cool Too. & Where Am I ?* Right Here Where I Was Born. BUT !* If I Had The Money ? I Got NO PROBLEM In Leaving This Area. None. You Only Got This One Life. LIVE IT !*
You Deserve The Things You Had Before, That Was "Pleasant Memories", Before "GROWTH" Squeezed You In....
Thanks! I like dry warm and cool weather but I also love the seasons in the Northeast. I also love the ocean. If NY was affordable I would stay forever. I love the experience here of walking down the street and hearing different languages, tasting different foods, seeing different faces, people watching, but less and less you see families. You mostly see younger commuters. Where I live though we have families. I don’t know what the future will bring to NYC but the crime has gone down so much and that’s good. Our police and fire departments are good, sanitation has a super hard job and they somehow pick up the trash every week and put it somewhere. I like Portland Maine and Belfast too. Maybe just a small visit would be great. I’ll have to check out South Carolina one day I’m sure it’s got it’s charm too.
I read the news report about the blue flash of light, and saw pictures of it. I am in the Rockies, so i didn't see it first hand, like you. Still, I thought, like you, that a transformer fire seemed to be a very benign explanation. You know, 'they' don't let us know the truth about much. So I am left wondering 'what was it, really?'
I hope that you have found some resolution to your previous problems.
NAMI really should have been of more help. Why else are they there?
Thank you and Happy New Years! Our Congressman disconnected his phone lines because he lost his office and the incumbent has not begun yet so there was no point person to call about extra concerns...luckily I have the awesome people on this site to fill me in!
Hi Tikirob,
are you part of a support group where you are? They are a great source for advocacy and info on how to navigate the health system, on which treatments, therapies and meds might work from people who have been through it. Also have you tried listening to meditations and TED talks, mindfulness on YouTube?
Hello, I’m short yes I have tried all of those things but thank you for the suggestions. There is no substantial mental health advocacy group in America. Mental health charities are hand tied by the rules of their compliance as non profits to some degree and are afraid to lobby for patients rights. I just read a medical journal report that only 10 percent of OCD patients fully recover with treatment and that 50 percent of patients have a treatment resistant form of the disorder. I went to 5 different hospitals and not once was I treated by a fully licensed psychologist even when spending close to 8000 dollars out of pocket with health insurance. The medications are about 50 percent effective and it’s unknown how much the placebo plays into that. Grants are given by Charities for OCD research but not for patient treatment. OCD treatment can cost anywhere from 30 000 dollars or more for a licensed psychologist to treat the needed and most effective treatment of exposure therapy over the course of a year which is recommended in moderate patients. And...they more than likely will not be cured or the treatment may have a minamal effect. Granted it’s worth a try but I feel that no one is watching out for the patients of OCD as a consumer watchdog.
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Found a therapist, but they don't yet know about my actual anxiety/depression...
"But still, I do it for the people around me- I don't want their memories of me to be of THIS... I want them to remember ME"
It's better to share your feelings with strangers than to share something with the people you know.. Bcz they will judge you... 
Forgiveness
Happy to be exactly where I am 
