You COULD say I’m bitter but I call i... - Anxiety and Depre...

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You COULD say I’m bitter but I call it being safe

SarcasmIsFun profile image

I just spent an evening with one of my few friends, I’ll call her Barb, and she confided in me that her husband has been talking to a woman that has been after him for YEARS. It’s been an ongoing issue between them because he will “friend” her on Facebook and then my friend will find out and make him “unfriend” her. They’ve been married for over 20 years and have a pretty solid relationship but this woman is the ONLY person my friend puts her foot down about him talking to. Barb recently found some new messages from other woman to her husband that are pornhub worthy and she’s understandably upset. Barb’s friend, I’ll call her Tina, was also over visiting because her husband, of 35 years has been a controlling douche and she’s had enough.

So I’m sitting there, listening to these women being upset over their husbands and all I can think is “Thank god I’m divorced and single”. My ex was an over achiever and made sure to tick off every box listed under “You might be an abuser if...” so I have experienced exactly what both women were complaining about plus much, much more. What he did to me skewed my outlook about other people so much that I can ALMOST say with 100% certainty that I will stay single forever. It’s been 5 years so far with zero romantic interests of any degree and I’m pretty damn okay with that. When it comes to men, I can run very fast.

9 Replies

I agree with you. People can be so deceitful. My first husband cheated. Luckily that was only a year out of my life and no kids. Husband #2 was cheated on my his ex when their 2 kids were babies. He went thru hell. We have been married 42 yr and I trust him completely. But if I was suddenly widowed, I would not take a chance and marry again. One thing Ive observed growing up with only brothers and having only sons... men are pretty stupid when it comes to women. I tried to instill in our sons “ think with your brain not your penis.” It was like talking to the wall.

SarcasmIsFun profile image
SarcasmIsFun in reply to

That is soooo wonderful Hoski! 42 years? My parents almost made it to 50 but my dad was significantly older than my mother and passed away first. I hope you both celebrate for many, many years to come.

in reply to SarcasmIsFun


The more posts I read on here, the more I think I'm better off staying unattached. I'm divorced a very long time, then had an 8 year on and off relationship with someone.. That ended 4 years ago. I haven't had a steady relationship since-4 years ago. For all these years, I wanted to get back into a relationship, but the more men I met, the more I saw that that was just not meant to be. I don't even know if I'm up for a relationship. It takes a lot of give and take. I don't think I'm up for that. Yet I'm still thinking about how the beginning of any relationship is so wonderful, and I can't stop thinking about that. It haunts me. I think my life is telling me to just remain alone though. ( I never want to get married or live with someone else ever again anyway). It would be nice to have someone who cares though. It's HARD going it alone.😐

I kinda have the opposite feeling. I want to skip the dating and excitement and just be with a man who I know and trust well BUT I’m a scaredy-cat so it won’t happen. But I have to admit that being alone and unanswerable to anyone is an amazing feeling.

in reply to Downandout123

Companionship is what we all need. Sometimes the right person can come along but there seems to be more wrongs than rights. Our dogs are always happy to see me, they have unconditional love, dont cheat, lie or steal, lol.

So, wait, I’m a little confused by your post. When you said “generally, if you are like above, why marry” are you referring to me and if I’m like this then I shouldn’t have bothered and wasted someone’s time by marrying them? I truly hope not and I wait with bated breathe to hear your reply because I can promise you that I have a rebuttal.

BUT I am assuming that I am simply reading into your words too much because I am fully aware of how very, VERY sensitive I am regarding the topic of marriage and my subsequent failure after 13 years with the title of “Mrs”.

Hang on, I need to check something......hmmmm, yup, I did not make any mention of absolutes other than the word “forever” and “100%” but both of those were preceded by a very large ALMOST. Nope, not one “everyone”, or “never”, or “every” in the whoooole paragraph. So I do not consider everyone out there as being a douche, or bad nor was I insinuating that people in relationships, searching for a relationship or in an imaginary relationship was a bad thing. So please, pretty, pretty please do not make assumptions about me based on a two paragraph post. Also, you didn’t answer my question from before. I grow weary with bating my breath here. Being an ex smoker and all.

I love the photo. And I can relate to you being single and wanting to stay that way, I took the plunge 3 times, all losers, have been single for 26 years and prefer to keep it that way. Sending love, peace, and hugs....Sprinkle 1....

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