His favorite movie line is: "Get busy living, or get busy dying."

[Nothing_but_books]

I put myself into a partial (psychiatric) hospitalization a few days ago. I don't know if I had hope. I guess I just knew I didn't have anything else to get me through how badly I am doing. After three days going there, I am more hopeless and demoralized than ever. I leave the building wanting the pain to stop now. I hurt. I come home and drug myself I hurt so much.

I haven't come here for a bit. Nothing good to contribute. I have been too hurt by my life to get through this. I was supposed to try to express gratitude: one of the exercises at the hospital today. Thank you to the friends who have reached out to me here.

[Nothing_but_books]

Thank you Indieabc.

[Island2]

It is the worst pain when we suffer from depression I know it.Sometimes I pray but it is not for everybody.I read self help books about depression."Feeling Good" by Dr.David Burns is a very helpful book. It has practical methods.You are the only one who can help yourself at the end, and YOU HAVE THIS POWER!

[pink318]

Hello,

I’m glad you reached out. We are here for you. Online groups like this are a huge help especially when we are going through difficulty. I experienced deep sadness and I found comfort after I shared in one of the online groups. I hope you will find encouragement here. Keep sharing.

You can also try to talk to someone you can trust and share your feelings. Journaling is also a good way to release your emotions. It works for me, I hope it will work for you as well. Stay safe. Praying for you for peace and things will go well with you.

[Nothing_but_books in reply to pink318]

Hey pink318,

There are times I find great solace here.

But when I am terrorized in my own home and told "No I will not allow you time to collect yourself, you deserve to feel pain for the trouble you are causing" I find no safety anywhere. I am regularly told I need to be "taught a lesson". This means I am to be traumatized without compassion. When my arms are slapped away for reaching out, touching, to make a connection... I know I have no solace. Today I was shrieked at: "You need to stop acting..." - whatever it is I am. Traumatized. Hurt. Depressed. Scared.

The scars are so deep, and I was not able to get away when I was well and I tried. Everything I knew to try. Now I am unwell, and I am to be thrown away like a used tissue.

And I feel so defective that I couldn't protect myself. And so incapable of surviving now. The decades of being terrorized - how can I explain? Of all the kind-hearted advice and support I have gotten here, I do not believe in my heart I can be the person who can make any of it work. My mind and body fail me.

[pink318]

Hello,

I'm so sorry for all you are going through. Whenever I am going through something, I experience peace after I pray. There are things that I cannot control and the best thing I can do is to pray. No matter what I may face, I believe that God is working in my behalf.

I pray for you that you will remain hopeful and expect that things will go well in spite of what you are going through right now. We are here for you. Keep sharing. God bless.

[Nothing_but_books in reply to pink318]

pink318,

Hello to you. I know your prayers can do me no harm. Perhaps they may do good. Coming here is what I have now. I wish you well.