I'm 65 y/o and would like other people around my age to discuss aging, loneliness and depression. I have no motivation to help myself. Talking to people that share similar experience would be so helpful.
Is anyone out there my age going thro... - Anxiety and Depre...
Is anyone out there my age going through isolation and depression?
64 Replies
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It takes time to recover and small steps - and try mindful meditation youtube on the internet
in reply to
Thank you for your response. It's good to know that there really are people out there.
Hello and welcome here! I'm glad to meet you. I am much younger but all of us are similar to each other. I very respect elder people who are here and share their thoughts. It's already your wish to help yourself, so I'm proud of you.
in reply to
Hi Hug thank you so much for your note. I understand that age does not exempt anyone from our issues. It's the aloneness, emptiness and difficulty for me to meet seniors who are in the same position. I can't be the only person out there. Hopefully I'll meet real people here.
Im 67, have struggled with depression and some anxiety over many years. Im fortunate to have a good marriage of many years, pets and live in a rural area, so worry about covid19 isnt huge. But Im feeling sad. I dont like the social distancing, miss our grandkids. I retired 2 yr ago, had a knee replacement( twice as first one was botched), had breast biopsy/ lumpectomy plus gallbladder surgery in the 2 yr of golden retirement!!! So, yes, the aging thing has not been my friend yet. Ive not been proactive in helping my heath as much as I should so I guilt myself on being lazy. Complain, complain complain.... so feel free to vent, I will totally understand💜
in reply to
Hi Hoski, thanks for talking to me. I have Multiple Sclerosis and can't do the things I once were able to do. I'm miserable and force myself to do things, but the age range of people that can do the things I can do, are 75+ years old. Now with Covid they have shut everything down and I'm stuck. I have had a tremendous loss of my son recently and will never get over my utter failure to protect my child. I feel useless and that's a killer. You're very kind to listen to me
in reply to
Oh I cannot imagine the pain you must feel losing your boy. We have 2 sons( ages 35 and 40) and dont think I could deal with losing either one. I am so sorry. MS is no easy disease to live with. During this pandemic we are all stuck at home. If/when it is safe to get out, is there a support group anywhere near you? Sometimes they can be helpful. Talking to other women with MS might be good, you may be able to offer tips and encouragement. Ive found that helping others helps me focus on something besides myself. I still have trouble getting out of low chairs. There are 85 yr old women at my church that get around better than I!!! Feeling useless is an easy place to find ourselves. We arent really useless but we feel we are. Dont give in to your emotions. Have hope that the future will be better. 💜
My son would have been 38 Dec 30th. He didn't call much but I always knew eventually he would call if he could. That part of my life is over now and honestly I'm not feeling hopeful. I hear you I happen to live in a senior community where everyone is active and puts me to shame!
in reply to
I always thought if I was alone, I would move to a senior community. There are senior apartments here in our little town that are nice, people seem friendly, mostly single women. I wouldnt expect you to feel hopeful while you are grieving. Dont compare others activity to yours. Im kind of an introvert so I must make myself join in things I dont necessarily feel like doing but Im usually glad after Im there. You dont have to feel hopeful, just believe hope is possible and you are worth it.
Thank you Hoski. I just happened to pick a community where everyone is happily married and they don't even mind the quarantine!
in reply to
🙁. Bah humbug. Not even one nice widower with no baggage looking for a nice lady who is lonely??? Sorry...
LOL, I haven't met that person yet but I keep looking.
Hi
I suffer with depression, anxiety, ocd, ptsd to, I am younger than you, I find exercise helps alot whether it's walking, jogging, swimming, even doing some poetry, it's hard when you live on your own when you haven't got motivation I've been there, I'm starting to motivate myself, I have good days and bad days on my bad days I can't even motivate myself to get out of bed I do find summer time is better and everything seems a bit better, have you been to the Dr may be they could put your tablets up, they did that with me but I've got another problem they changed my medication and the side affects are restless legs I could never sleep good at night anyway now I have restless legs to add to my sleepless nights.
Kimberley
X
in reply to Pink-princess12
I wish I had the motivation to force myself. I just don’t
Pink-princess12 in reply to
Yes it's not always easy to I find it hard sometimes x
in reply to
Same here... too bad we arent neighbors.
Hi jamblu. I'm a sc also (67). I have had depression/anxiety off and on my entire life. I live alone and have one friend who I see about once a week, and a sister whom I'm not very close to. I do go to support groups though, and that seems to help. I have to force myself to do things but I feel better about myself afterwards. I like to read, work in the yard, go walking. Hang in there and do the best you can. Oh and I do have 2 cats to keep me company. 
in reply to bonkers65
I’ve been looking for a support group or a counselor and I’ve been unable to find one. I’m not a religious person so going to a place of worship is not my thing. I have a dog who I’m constantly concerned about due to her age. She’s been my best friend for 13 years. And I have a cat who is .... a cat. He’s loving and demonic so it’s touch and go situation there.
Gillyflower18 in reply to
Hi I’m your age and have had anxiety and depression most of my life. I meditate and keep as active as possible. I too have a cat I love who is both loving and demonic. That gave me a chuckle. You never know which cat you have from moment to moment. Makes living with her interesting tho 😆
in reply to Gillyflower18
I think it’s wonderful that you try to keep active. I can’t meditate I don’t have the discipline. And yes my pets still make me smile
Anybody bete Need a Friend Im here
Hi Jam, you sound like Me? I’m 65 lonely and suffer from anxiety and depression. I don’t live alone but feel like I do? Because of my mental illness I had to retire early which I couldn’t afford to do but had too or I was going to get fired because of Bad attendance. I was there 32 years, I left on my terms. I had to file for bankruptcy which at my age is like Death? Which I have thought about doing it, at times planning it in my head, I’ve been suffering off and on for about 36 years. I’ve been to counseling and taking medication for about 10 years? Have you had Any counseling? Well, write me when you’d like I’m here for You 🙏
in reply to Want2BHappy3
I’ve been in therapy my entire life. I guess it helped in stages because I’m still here. I al
Yes I am. 68. I have PTSD, severe anxiety depression, and anxiety. During this shut it has become far worse. The 2 people in my life, my grandchildren kept me going, We love each other so much, I took care them till they went to full time school. I haven’t been able to see then in 7 weeks. Loneliness yes my husband is against the stay home process to lower the amount of people getting the virus. I had a friend die from it. Every-time he comes in the same room with me he try’s to argue about it with me. I tell him to stop, but he won’t, then he gets mad. He stays in his basement office all day long. Tells me it’s my fault because I won’t listen to him. When I need to go out, he insists he going with me, he won’t wear a mask, or wash his hands. My grandchildren,we face time each other, but I want to hold them give them a kiss. At bed time I hold my phone, and my I pad next to me, encase they FaceTime me,, I cry until I fall asleep . I have my nightmares from PTSD . I’m so lonely,I’m so worried how long this will last! ❤️
Want2BHappy3 in reply to
I’m Sorry for what you’re going through. It’s Not Fair That he Not take how you feelings into consideration? Maybe he’s afraid to admit it’s True? This is Why it’s still spreading because of the Non-Believers. My daughters ex boyfriend is one of those idiots when something like this happens thinks it’s a government conspiracy? No one knows when this is going to end? This is New to us? But it will, can you look into therapy?
in reply to Want2BHappy3
Oh I tried that when I got PTSD, he came to the therapist with me, we went in separate cars. With in two min he got up ,and left. I knew he was going to do that. ❤️
Want2BHappy3 in reply to
Oh that’s too Bad, I ended a 19 year relationship because of the opposite, he would call me to up the anxiety, he’s addicted to Drama. I have time and time again asked him to stop pushing my buttons and quit calling me about this virus there’s nothing that I can do about it. I asked him to get therapy? I know he won’t, just like he won’t go to a doctors or dentist because he wants to have a reason to whine about how he doesn’t feel well for the attention. I’ve had it. Men don’t do well with therapy I think because it’s about their manhood ? Maybe you should continue going without him? Do it for yourself?
in reply to Want2BHappy3
I do , I’m been going for therapy for years!❤️
Pink-princess12 in reply to
Hi
Sorry to hear your going through a bad time just tell your husband to stop arguing and going on he has his views and you have yours if he doesn't want to take it seriously just self isolate from him
in reply to Pink-princess12
I’m trying to, but he won’t leave me alone. I’m afraid he’ll go out without taking precautions, and get sick with the virus. That’s the biggest thing, he not only doesn’t care about himself, but me getting it, I am 68, and he’s 71 and a heavy smoker. I’ve had enough of abuse in my lifetime, if you read my profile you will see. When he gets mad, because I don’t agree with him about the lockdown, he’s face gets really mean, and his blood vessels pop out of his face. In this house I can’t get away, so I have to go out a lot ,and walk, but weather here is not very good, cold, and rainy. I don’t like this lockdown but I know it’s the best thing to do for me, and other people to get it to a low point, and a vaccine for it. I have been though many things in my lifetime, polio, the soviets telling us they were going to bomb us when I was young, shelters being put up. VietNam war, and TB, but nothing like this ,that we had to stay home. I so miss my 2 grandchildren, who I raised till they went into full time school. They where the ones that showed me showed me so much love, as I love them, though these horrible years of having PTSD from abuse from my birth family, not my husband or two daughters . They are the lights of my entire life .He’ll follow me where ever I go . I would leave if it wasn’t for the lockdown. I cry everyday to see my grandchildren again. Thank you for caring❤️
Pink-princess12 in reply to
Ahh you can report him to the police for abuse I would you don't deserve to be treated badly knowone does
Kimberley
in reply to
I know I should, but my grandchildren will find out, and they love him. If I could I won’t even pay the bail.
Hello, Jamblu, I will be 65 next week and understand your loneliness and depression. I am single with no children. I have been laid off from my job and miss seeing the people at work...my only socializing in a very small rural town. I am fortunate that my therapist from 3 hours away calls me once and sometimes twice a week. I try to keep in touch with friends. I pray and I find I have a hard time accomplishing anything at home...especially cleaning my cluttered apartment. Wish I had some magic answer. We are all in this together. Thank you for your bravery in sharing. Take good care of yourself. karlou5455
in reply to karlou5455
Thank you it’s hard to meet people that truly understand. I wasn’t wired from birth to be happy. I had a toxic mother who made sure of that. My brain doesn’t experience pleasure/love so everyone and everything is suspicious. I have no relationships with the exception of a few married women . I understand you’re not wanting to care for yourself or your home. I feel the same way.
karlou5455 in reply to
I had a similar childhood background. I understand your hesitancy in trusting in someone. My few girlfriends are all married women, also. Hang in there, one day at a time, sometimes an hour at a time. Take care.
I’m not your age but I just want you to know that you are never alone, even though you will feel that way, you can do things like this to get a response. I hope you can find things to keep your mind at ease.
in reply to Jloyd90
Thank you Jloyd for your kind words
Jablu,
Welcome to the group! You have acknowledged your feelings, so it's a start. Sorry about how you're feeling. I'm 55 and know how it is. I go to therapy in combination with meds. You need a routine everyday to kick start your day.
1. Take a shower every morning. I had a hard time with this.
2. Write down things you're grateful for.
3. If you have a spouse, discuss your day 15 minutes everyday.
4. Walk 15 minutes a day.
Just some things I'm trying to do to lift my spirits and get me going. These are suggestions.
🐎 Addict
in reply to
Ahh the routine. It’s so true and yet I don’t shower, won’t get dressed and at some point during the day I realize I haven’t eaten. Without motivation I have no reason to do that stuff. I sit on my sofa and prefer to be in another world with the use of medical marijuana and vodka. What motivates you to be good to yourself?
in reply to
I understand everything you said. I didn't care how I looked, I just felt unmotivated. I literally have to push myself, but I do it. FYI...alcohol is not the solution! It's exacerbating depression.
Exercise of walking everyday. Try it!
15 minutes or even 10.
Don't be so hard on yourself 😉 On here, everyone is trying to improve, but you have to get going. Baby steps
Horseaddict57
Linnea1 in reply to
jamblu - You have medical marijuana? Can I come over? lol
Seriously, though, I understand the lack of get up and go. I'm going through it, too (2.5 years now). Can you take walks or ride a bike? Get outside and get some sun in your brain. I hope things get better for you very soon!
Hugs,
Linnea
jamblu, you are not alone! I will be 64 in a few weeks and have suffered from depression starting at 7 yrs old. I am married to a good man, but he has COPD and is unable to do many things now, leaving me to take care of 95% of the chores which has exhausted me. I have experienced insomnia for a couple of years now. Also I had a bad accident last summer and now also have been experiencing lots of anxiety.
I do not like to exercise and have to force myself to get things done. I have no children (my stepson committed suicide in 2002 at 28 yrs old.... which I struggled with for many years) and a very small family. I lost my job in 2015 and have been unable to get hired again.
I have been on & off meds since 1997, stopping them again 2 years ago. About 6 wks ago I finally broke down and started a new Rx for depression and one for sleep (also a mild antidepressant). Now that they are working I am feeling much better and don't wish every night to die in my sleep.
I have also attended a Unitarian Universalist church which has helped me to meet kind, intelligent people. I am not religious, but do enjoy it.
I love to read and have found a few interesting shows to watch on Prime and Netflix. These things help me to think about something other than myself!
I hope you find the strength to carry on. Remember that you have friends here.
in reply to Leawrjet
Hi
in reply to Leawrjet
Hmm I wrote a message to you and all you got was a hi! What I wrote was I tried to stop my meds and quickly dove into a black hole. I need them not because it makes me happy just regulated. I’m glad to hear you’re back on yours and feeling better. I also lost my son to an accidental overdose that contained fentanyl. He would have been 38 Dec 30th. What is a Unitarian Universalist church?
Leawrjet in reply to
Yes I wondered about the reply 🤔. UU is non-denominational, based on 7 guiding principles:
worth and dignity; equity and compassion; acceptance of one another; search for truth; the democratic process; peace, liberty, and justice for all; respect. Members are quite diverse in my local UU, but we believe in these ideals.
I know that stopping my meds eventually causes me to crash, but I don't like to take them... hopefully this time they will work without a need to increase dosage.
in reply to Leawrjet
Thank you for your response
I am turning 50 in 4 months. I have been in the hospital for a month, now, after a car accident. With C19 preventing visitors, I have only seen my parents one at a time through the glass doors.
I have the combo poo pop platter of anxiety, depression, ADD, codependency (which has gotten much better), a sleep disorder that prevents quality sleep and something like narcolepsy where I fall asleep at random times.
Having been a teacher for 20+ years, I have often sought the quiet of isolation. As long as I keep myself busy, I don't much notice the lonliness. My therapists always try to get me to find some way to interact with more people, but it always seemed forced.
When I interact with others on my own terms, it is much more genuine. I like to volunteer. I take on random part time jobs. I have many extroverted friends, so I seem to have opportunities for interaction.
Have you identified why you are alone? How was your life different when you were younger?
Just keep posting here and you will get support.
Sorry to hear about your accident and glad you’re recovering. It certainly is a difficult time. I have MS and have difficulty on many levels. Having a partner that lives with me would require a saint. Actually my life as a child was worse. At least as an adult I’m free of toxicity that poisoned my abilities and self esteem. Who wants to be with a loser? Thanks for responding and listening. Here’s to a speedy recovery
Hi Blue how are you today?
Hang in there. I watch stand up acts to make me laugh.
George Carlin.
Please ask me questions that interest you because to tell you about me is far too long and boring
I am 59 and suffer from Terminal (NASH) Liver disease as well as moderate depression.
How are you getting along?
Hi jamblu, I am 71 now. Hard to believe, it’s gone by so fast. I am having a hard time with everything that has been happening this year. Politics, Covid 19, a sense of isolation from my love ones. I am married and having my husband 24 hours a day can be stressful. I have had a lifetime of anxiety and depression. I have taken just about every antidepressant made. The last one was Bupropion. It was making me so irritated and mad at everyone. I caught myself yelling at politicians on tv and I realized I needed to do something. I stopped taking Bupropion 4 days ago and I am going to try without any medication. For me getting older has it’s ups and downs. I would like to hear your thoughts. Feel free to share them with me. I am sending good thoughts your way. Janet, isaelaine3
Hi Jambi,
I am 63 and single. I know very well the feeling of low motivation. Now that I’m not working due to the pandemic, I find it more important to get myself to do things. I’m staying with my sister and brother in law in their house. It helps me to help with cleaning and chores. I have OCD and depression, so I’m grateful for their understanding. It is difficult getting older ,
But it’s also a challenge to do things you’ve wanted to do . What do you think you want to do? Try baby steps every day towards that goal. God bless
Liti
Hi it’s great that you have understanding family. I have no ideas. I think I want to do stuff and then I don’t. I bought a mobility scooter to hopefully get me out of my house and I haven’t used it yet.
Being around people that you know care about you is the best medicine.
Thank you for your response
Watch comedy, George Carlin, Sebastian Malaccio. It turns the mood, seriously
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