I feel alone right now. And stressed. I have to be strong and get through but feeling vulnerable and afraid.
There’s stuff I have on my mind that I can’t even talk about and it’s weighing on me. Stuff I can’t even talk to my therapist about... I just can’t. Part of me needs to but it’s just too much right now to share.
The only thing i can think of to do is to talk to God about it and write it out then burn it.
Does anyone else have things going on that you are not sharing with anyone? How are you dealing with it?
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Starrlight
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Hello beautiful starlight. We all have deep thoughts too deep for tears which resurface from time to time. I can guess where you are at with so many things in your life . Learning to let go of the past without blame and wondering if things might be different if we had done something to prevent happenings is normal. It is trying to think of positive experiences which link to the immediate. Thats your strength .Hope you reset your mind on the positives.
Most of it has to do with worries, that I won’t be able to handle what comes...I know I need to focus on the present... it’s like my mind is in constant search to mess with me. Ok I will think of positives. Thank you for the important reminder. I get so panicked but I’ll try my best. Thanks beautiful
Are you fearful of the virus? Several members of the family have had it but it has passed with the lock down. There's not much information but have found interesting scientific research on how you can help yourself with ordinary medicines and foods. To cut a long story short medium chain saturated fatty acids in butter hard cheese and in sunflower oils as well as canola and vegetable oils can damage the lipid shell of the Corona virus. Omega 3 fatty oils are in margarines in fish sardines salmon mackerel and in plant oils including flax and hemp oil. High doses of vitamin c can help to ward off the virus such as 2000mg of dispersible vitamin c.
Other ways of controlling the immune response which can increase mucus is to take antihistamines. and cough medicines which dry up the mucus. Sudafed and Mucinex might be several you can buy . Aspirin can help as well as ibubrofen. It is when the immune inflammatory response starts to prevent the airways from being open. Vitamin c is used to help cystic fibrosis sufferers and for other lung diseases. As information is saying this virus is not treatable it is not necessarily the virus it is the sudden immune response which can be controlled as well as the different strains of bacteria with antibiotics. We can't get antibiotics but we can eat foods which resist the virus such as cheese chocolate cream and dairy and take over the counter medicines which suppress the immune response to stop the mucus. Hayfever remedies can help dampen the immune response. Can say I have hayfever rhinitis and have had several hours of pneumonia and found stuff to stop the cough and mucus helps.Kids can take some meds for their age group too. Vitamin-C topped up thru the day in ribena orange juice may help as it is excreted after several hours and needs topping up.
Know how these worries are affecting you and by controlling your diet and using ordinary remedies may help you feel in control. Steam cleaning kills viruses and bacteria. Hope you divert those worries by things you like. am making some oat bread and knitting dolls for 5 year old..keep busy and sure you will be able to over ride these worries. You are a great person and are doing fine.
I've been wanting to write a post about how I'm struggling but I don't even know where to start. There is just so much swirling in my mind. Then I think others have worse things going on than me even though we should not compare such things. I also dont want to be a burden to others online or with a few close friends. I'm just a little bit of a mess right now. I wish you calming peace even if it's just a few moments a day right now. We have to believe things will get better. ❤🌻
Oh I hear you about things swirling around in the mind. Racing, relentless. Your pain is real just as real as any other. You are important. I agree, we have to believe things will get better. And there is beauty within our pain even. We struggle and we are not burdens but I know what you mean as I often don’t speak out of that concern though I wouldn’t want anyone else to feel a burden...neither are we. Sending good vibes and wishes for the blessings to come for you, amazing All_alone.
Thank you for acknowledging our pain. I havent shared half my thoughts with the few close people in my life. I tried in the past and they have brushed it off or avoided it. So I just stopped sharing. You are important to. Our chat has been uplifting for me.
I try sharing with a best friend and she just avoids the topic. I don't really share since nobody wants to around someone who is sad and anxious. Of course, now I don't get to really see anyone because of the stay home measures.
I am new on here.. this is my first time writing anything.. wayyyy overdue as I need to just breathe, scream, cry or all the above. No instead I will just sit alone extremely tense trying to make it another day. I have to say thank you for your post as it made me finally reach out and feelas if I’m not “crazy”. My mind swirls.. I have stress that engulfs me to which I face alone even though I’m married. My husband uses my innermost heartfelt concerns against me as though it’s “ammunition”. He is what I finally see as a narcissist and self proclaimed master manipulator. How did I get here.. I am very strong yet I succumbed to being controlled! Why not leave?? Tried .. several times.. he is mentally unstable and extremely vengeful,.. I have sunk so low that I can only go up.. I truly believe venting has been a good thing today so I say a huge THANK YOU! Sorry for the “novel” I just wrote but my emotions were coming faster than I could type!
Nicole333 nice to meet you. You know you are so strong. I believe things can work out beautifully but I think it comes in tiny steps so it takes patience and keeping hope that you are moving into a better place.
You can talk to me any time pm me any time you want.
I’m sorry to hear about how your husband affects you. You know you deserve better and like you say you are rising up from being so down. You can do it! We are here for you, beautiful.
I'm sorry you are experiencing this! It's bad enough dealing with health issues without support, but it must be 10 times worse with the negativity. Hang in there and take care!
I've experienced the same with friends. Either avoidance or they twist it around and say I should have done this or that. After that was said to me, I will never talk about those things again due to their lack of compassion or turning things around. So it just lives in me 😥
I, too have felt the shame (unwarranted) caused by the lack of compassion from the closest people in my life or the lack of knowledge of the depression/anxiety disorders. I am here anytime for you ..All_alone so please reach out because you are not alone hon :).
My OCD has gotten plenty worse this year. I have intrusive thoughts. I don’t know if you know what those are, but they are random thoughts or images that are highly disturbing, things you’d never think of doing or trying to think about in a million years. When I get these, it’s like, WOW. What kind of a human being am I? Til this day, I am not comfortable yet to share with anyone. And for now, that is okay. Because I am still learning about intrusive thoughts, and still figuring things out/my emotions about them for myself.
I am a very loving, caring person. Very compassionate. I’m also vegan. So -literally I’d never hurt anything. And when these things pop up in my head, it’s hard not to doubt yourself.
The feeling of shame. Shame is one of the worst emotions we can feel. Because that is where it brings in depression, anxiety, and so on.
Also, a few years back, I was doing EMDR therapy with my favorite counselor that I have ever had. I’ve never opened up to a counselor like I have opened up to her. Things happened to me when I was little, that I had no control of. Leading me to have PTSD. There was something I did when I was little that I could not, and WOULD NOT, tell her. It took me about 2 years to finally tell her because I did feel so shameful. The funny thing is, is now I look back, and I didn’t even do anything wrong. It was just a thought I had that I thought was bad, because someone made me feel that way.
I have gave you two examples here, that I hope may help in some way. I don’t know if yours is action based, or thought based, but either way, I’m sure there is some sort of explanation out there.
But just because we thought we have done something awful, or have thinked unimaginable things, that is not who we are.
Ocd intrusive thoughts plague me too so much. I had an unusually disturbing one today. But they stream in my mind almost non stop sometimes.
Oh I’m so sorry you had to go through that pain of shame when you did nothing wrong and no one protected you.
I just feel generally bad about things happened, happening or might happen in life right now so it’s hard to speak out about much. It’s just too much to even process right now. I feel my brain is overloaded. I feel I’m healing but I’ve got a ways to go.
Thanks for sharing. You are beautiful. I appreciate you so much Hecate. ❤️ ❤️ ❤️
Oh man, I am so sorry to hear that Startlight! Intrusive thoughts are no fun. And I am so sorry you are going through all of this on your own. Things we feel bad about are hard very hard to process in the first place! Then not being able to talk much about them also brings more distress.
I like to talk to the moon and the stars at night. Or my grandpa who just passed away as well. I always talk to my cat too. 😂 it’s funny when she looks at me like “girl you crazy” haha but, stating your thoughts out loud is very healing and helpful. Of course, writing them down are too, like you said you do, but there is somehow just a little more power when they are said out loud, and sometimes if you hear them enough, they almost start to sound a little silly.
Thank you for your kind words. 💕 Keep on keeping on! Maybe even find a secluded area and talk, yell, scream... whatever you need to do. We’re all here for you. 💕
Suppose getting rid of dark thoughts is sensible. All that creative pain down the sink. Think you are right as sometimes people take fantasies and turn them against you. Hope your mood changes. It has been sunny here which helps getting out but are you the storm catcher.? My daughter has a Gene where she runs to swirling tired and black clouds. Yes another artist..
In order for you to move on and make some real sense of it you must find someone that you can confide in. I can tell you from experience that these things do not go away they impact your life every single day. If they are really bad then you must find a therapist that you can talk to about this. I live in NZ and if you want to share and lighten the load you are more than welcome to tell me. Not one of us can judge anyone. Sending all my love.
I'm going through the same thing as you, I am unable to talk about anything, I just won't, every other moon, or few times a year I talk to one of my doctor, and as soon as I noticed that I am taking, I stop. But I do talk to the Lord, this allows me to get a little more relaxed from time to time. Just hold on just a little while longer. Everything is going to be alright.
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