Late at night

[shewolf_]

Trying to fall asleep, but I can’t. I reflect and start to feel pain again as I think about the situation i’m in. I know in time things will get better for me. I still feel hurt and disappointment from my ex. The wound is fresh but i’m doing better i’m healing. I work every day to keep myself busy. I take my medicine and it helps me stay optimistic, positive and mentally stable I guess. I’m just sad. I need to get my own apartment soon things are so stressful .

[Fisher55]

Honestly I have dealt with a similar situation but from another prospective. I can’t sleep anymore as well but I was not the one who was wrong. My mother’s parents were both extremely abusive and 2 years ago she finally opened up about what had happened and I couldn’t bare the thought of hat they did. I stay awake thinking about how much I hate them and how could they do that but feel no regret. They called her a liar and insane. I believe her. I think she was genuinely hurt for many years and grew up in an unstable home. The mom I knew when I was young is no more. A little piece of me died as well. She will never be the same and neither will I. It has been a huge problem that I could not have foreseen. I feel ashamed that our family issues are so bad and I think of all the judgement that will come. I hide all the pain and try to mask it and I do a pretty good job. Too good. No one knew how I was feeling about this situation until I had already developed depression and anxiety. I am lucky corona quarantine is happening because if not I would be failing school and losing all sense of what my purpose is. I have plenty of time low to ponder what I need to help myself and my mom heal from these experiences. I do recommend listening to music or journaling. Coming to terms with what has happened WILL help. I have a very angry and sad journal but I don’t read it. I just write my feelings out so they don’t stay bottled up and weighing me down. This is a long response and I may be young but I just hope something helps. It’s going to be ok and you can get through this.

[Caseopia]

That's excellent you're working on ways to get through this. Once, I went back through my old journals. It's true that time can heal. I was in emotional agony in my journal writings but when I reflected on them some time later, I couldn't believe how much better I had gotten about whatever it is I wrote about. When I would write a journal entry, I didn't think the sadness and pain would ever go away. Or at least lessen tremendously. Keep working on you. You can do it. Thank you for posting.

[Sabio77]

shewolf_ thank you for reaching out here. I am proud of you for trying to stay positive, taking your medicine and trying to stay busy. that is half the battle. yes time will heal you. I urge you to believe in yourself and focus on positive things. I believe in you. Keep up the good work. hugs of encouragement. You CAN do this my friend.