I’ve been feeling like a pretty big failure and disappointment lately. I’m 19 and I’ve got my whole life ahead of me, and yet I can’t seem to do anything right... I’m scared of the most simple things that others do everyday, and in the end I find that my life is dictated by my anxiety (and laziness to change anything). Today my biggest issue has been with driving.
Driving terrifies me. I’ve never been in a serious accident or anything, but the idea of controlling this huge machine scares me. I just started learning how to drive last year in August and yet I still can’t seem to remember all the things I need to do nor get over the actual act of driving. Sometimes I feel like I’ll die if I have to drive the car, and other times I’m completely fine (excited even).
My Mom keeps telling me that I’m being ridiculous and that I need to get over anxiety, and that if driving doesn’t come naturally to me (unlike everyone else I’m the world) then I’ll end up a disaster on the road - and that maybe I should give up it completely. Problem is I need to learn how to drive as I live in Texas, and even if my Mom thinks I’m a basket case (her words) she won’t actually let me stop cause she bought me a really nice car. A really nice, expensive, BIG car that she expects me to park in our really narrow and small garage. The same garage that I accidentally crashed into today while backing out (created a huge dent and scratch) while I went to go get her prescriptions from the pharmacy.
I just... I feel really pressured to learn how to drive cause she’s constantly talking about how I need to get it together cause I’m 19 and she suddenly needs all this help with things. And she’s always talking about she never caused such damage to her cars when she was younger and she didn’t know anyone else who had either. This isn’t my only issue rn but it’s just today’s biggest... I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I’m being ridiculous. My mind sorta feels numb when I try to think of things to fix my issues like this and I feel really stupid. I just can’t get the most basic things down...
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SkyBlue32
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Hey SkyBlue32... I know how you feel, especially with your mom bashing on you like that. My parents keep telling me to move on from past relationships and things I hold onto, and I can’t seem to just “let go”. It hurts when people don’t understand what you’re going through. If you ever need anyone to talk to, I’m here. Is 19 year olds need to stick together
I have a daughter not much younger than you and I am so sorry your mom treats this way.
You'll be ready to drive when you're ready to drive. It's not doing you any good and it's not doing the other drivers out there any good.
I started teaching my daughter slowly. We started in a mall parking lot after it closed so noone was there. A huge parking lot with no other cars in sight. Would you and she be up to doing something like that to get some practice?
I’ve practiced like that with my grandparents a few times, but I’ve only driven on streets/highways with my Mom. She doesn’t understand why I’m not just naturally picking it up like everyone else she knows.
Hey. I understand what your going through. The only advice I can offer is make yourself a schedule of everything you should do in a day. I mean everything. Including brushing your teeth, and waking up at a certain time. Then, do it. I know that it seems easier said then done (and it really is), but if you don't give yourself the chance to think about not wanting to do something, or any other thoughts, you won't do it. Make sure to give yourself things you like to do in there aswell. For example: play video games, eat sweets, take a nap etc... Good luck to you
Firstly I want to say you are not a failure, everyone makes mistakes in life whatever age they are, it's about how you learn and deal with them.
Driving is not a natural thing - it has evolved from the invention of the car (or going back further carriage/cart.)
I'm in Britain and we can learn to drive from 17, all my friends and family were completely shocked when I didn't start having lessons.
I would come up with all sorts of excuses as to why (couldn't afford it/ too busy with college and work etc)
The truth was.... I was terrified of being responsible for a machine that could potentially cause so much damage to others. I didn't feel like I was capable of being in control and be focused at all times when behind the wheel.
I didn't let anyone know the real reason (until after I had passed my test and got my license) as I felt so alone I'm my views, it felt like everyone else could do this and it's no big deal to them.
I ended up starting my lessons at age 21/22 when I felt more confident in my ability (also due to where I lived at that time I desperately needed to be able to drive.) I took time to find an instructor who I clicked with, was supportive and in less than a year I had passed my test first time. - Something I truly believe I wouldn't have done at 17.
I've been driving over 10 years now and thankfully haven't been involved in any accidents.
Even my Mum who refused to get in the car with me when I was a learner as "because I just know you will be a terrible driver" prefers me to drive her than her drive herself now!
As I suffer greatly with anxiety and depression I have learned to know my limits and if I'm having a particularly bad day I won't drive unless I really have to.
Things that helped me in learning and actually in day to day life still have been list writing- break it all down into small chunks. eg unlock the car door, sit down and adjust seat and mirrors etc then you can look at this whenever you want to refresh yourself. It's also satisfying for me to check off each task as it shows that I can achieve things rather than feeling so overwhelmed by the magnitude of the whole thing.
Sorry for the huge rambling essay but hopefully you will be able to take something from it- if it's only to know that you are not alone!
TRY to be kind to yourself although I very much struggle with this!
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Made a fool of myself
Wondering about my therapist and just need to get stuff out
Am I stupid or it's just not for me? 
