As the youngest son, I was growing up in a healthy family of 5 siblings and both parents. I was attending school and was in a football academy were I played soccer which I enjoyed so much.
Then suddenly, at the end of high school the family started to fall apart. Our eldest sister who was important part of the family married and moved to another city. Then consistent conflict erupted between mom and dad. They neither separated nor lived together for more than a decade.
Then our eldest brother who was working in another city was diagnosed with mental illness and came back home. Our second eldest brother had a car accident, incapacitated & came back home. The fourth sister who’s elder than me also got some health issues. In addition, our aunty who had a mental illness for more than three decades lives with us. There is also another uncle who is drunkard.
I was able to move to another city and finish my college degree with great distinction and started a job. Then our father married another woman and left home. The sole responsibility of taking care for all those family members fallen on mom and me. I never had a life of my own but supporting others. I felt lonely, helpless, fearful and restless. No proper sleep and tired all the time. I’ve lost interest in things I used to enjoy. I don’t do sports and don’t enjoy relationships with women any more. My performance at work has nose dived and visible to everyone. I consider myself a failure and constantly blame myself. Above all, I become so indecisive that I find it difficult to decide even smaller things.
I am confused and don’t know when or even if I will be able to recover from this and start my own life.