I tear myself down for having a good day!!

[sunshinegal27]

Ugh so I was in the shower just happily doing all my shower routine and then I started to just get really down on myself for having a good morning. I started to think “my coworker seemed really annoyed that I was so talkative yesterday maybe I need to calm down.” And then I was like whyyyyy do I do this to myself???? I am so grateful to have therapy tomorrow cuz I can talk to my therapist about it...but ever since I was about 12 or 13, I couldn’t get out of bed and feel happy for “no reason.” It’s always been “you have to have something to look forward to, to be happy.” Why do I need to give myself permission to be happy?? Why do I need to have something big to look forward to?? Why can’t I just wake up like this every day????? 😩

[Cantdealanymore]

Its hard. Dont beat yourself up about it. Not everyone has naturally sunny personalities and thats OK. Just try your best. Tell yourself GOOD things about you. If you can. If not, try again next time.

[sunshinegal27 in reply to Cantdealanymore]

Yeah I worked really hard to do that all morning before going to work and it worked out ok.

[Pinkyandthebrain]

Oh gosh; this is something I used to do all the time?! Our brains can be so strange! X

[sunshinegal27 in reply to Pinkyandthebrain]

I know brains are weird!!!

[Sabio77]

sunshinegal27 I am glad that you were having a good morning routine. I urge you to start believing in yourself. there must be an underlying reason why you are triggered to feel that way. talk to your therapist about how to go about it.