Lonely with a rock in my stomach...

I've been married for 25 years in June... This marriage has been bad right from the start. He lied to me and was a drug addict. He showed no signs so I never knew for 8 years. He also didn't divorce this first wife so that made our marriage voided, it does show valid on the registry which is weird to me. He has never been physical or intimate during this time. I have no emotional bond with him. He actually told me a long time ago that he keeps me in a depressed state because he doesn't want me to leave him. I use to be happy , owned my own business, now I have nothing... I have been having an 11 year affair with a younger man. He supported me and filled all my voids.I stopped the affair. We are in counseling now for over 3 months now and nothing is changing. He is still half assing everything he does when he does anything.. He is a great worker at work, but home is not challenge for him... I have always said he was the biggest mistake I have ever made. I am now in counseling by myself. Had my first session yesterday. Went well . At the end of the session the therapist told me that I would probably not be with my Husband when I am better. I CAN'T WAIT FOR THAT DAY !!!! At 60 you'd think you know yourself, but I sure don't....

[schoolhurts]

My thoughts are with you. Relationships are tricky. It's hard to accept the ending, even when you do say you're excited because of the thought of "what if..?" but it is necessary when the relationship is downright harmful as this seems to be for you from what you said. It's good that you have taken the steps that you have. It's something to be proud of.

[Colorfulsmile]

It sound tough.

But you are heading in the right direction!

I am proud of you!

[cbgrace1980]

That was a great step to start individual counseling. That will help you tremendously as you choose which path you want to follow for yourself. Keep up the hard work!

[Starrlight]

I am rooting for you! You are amazing!