Anxiety update due the pandemic (How it started, what i am doing to deal with it)

[vanessi]

Hello everybody, i hope you all are doing well or better; on my last post i wrote why my anxiety came back after few years ago, obvs the situation nowadays around the world is not the best one, i want this all end as much as everybody and it seems being in quarantine and alone has hit me and probably has to some of you.

First of all, i want to say that i am a reserved woman, that i am and i prefer to be alone most of time (except for my family and my boyfriend) and i don't have lots of friend either but even tho, i do really miss the old life, the people, just enjoying the outdoors...At this moment i would love to have someone with me doing the quarantine because after more than 20 days withtout no talking to someone face to face has led me to the anxiety and the panic attacks too, and for sure the depression, again.

i will write first the things that affected me and drove me to the anxiety again.

1. Saturation of news: i've always liked to watch the news in general to be informed, either tv or social networking but lately i saw lots of these news everyday and the whole day; on tv every single local news, international news were saying one after the other how bad the situation is, nothing positive, if at least it was something. On social network, especially Facebook, everybody making fun of the coronavirus, memes, virtual news saying the same about the local news nd even worse, sharing every minute things that were not proved like: Experts say that the coronavirus might last 'till 2021, the quarantine can last 'till six months, Doctors say it might be new ways of getting the virus,

there could be up to 5000 new cases. And when i read those examples of news i realized nothing is confirmed so i thought either they do it to get everybody panicked or to get money with their sensationalism

2. Alcohol: So i thought well now i am pretty much not doing anything im gonna kill the time drinking cos for me the days goes so fast, what a mistake because apart of being hungover, it took me so down

3. Lack of activity or work: I work in a high school and the south of france and i am a spanish language assiatant, i work with three other teachers but since we are in lockdown the schools are closed since march 16th, and i stopped working on march 12th because i don't work on fridays, so after that my mind is not busy; also i am a person that is not used to do exercise or other kind of things, pretty much watch series or documentaries, talk to my family on the phone or even social networks (it comes to the first point) so i started having lots of time to think.

4. Family and partner are far: As i said i live in france, i am mexican, my parents live in Mexico, my siblings and their family live in Canada; time difference is a problem but also feeling that i am alone because even if we are all on the some position, they are with the people they love and for sure they all can help each other out with everything. Now boyfriend isn't that far but he lives in Ireland and he is working from home all day and sometimes can't call me for that and it makes me feel very alone too.So i am alone here and just have myself pretty much.

Due to those 4 points my anxiety came back, because it feels this never gonna finish, i just hear "there are more cases, there are more deaths, the quarantine is gonna extend" so i feel so stuck here and wanting to back to Ireland where is gonna move next month if i can, of course.

Now i have sleeping problems, panic attacks, want to cry so bad sometimes, anxiety, etc... I'll tell what i started doing since yesterday to deal with this 'till is over and don't try to lose my routine and my life again. (i listed the answers and linked them in order with the four points above)

1. I stopped watching news, just really watch for some minutes to see how the pandemic is going around the world, especially where my beloved ones are. I stopped reading every single news that the pages on internet share cos most of them are only controversional.

2. I've decided to leave for now the alcohol or stop drinking so much, probably a glass of wine or a bottle of better wouldn't be that bad, but for now i am better like this without drinking. I know the alcohol is the worst enemy for the anxiety and the panic attacks; so as long as i feel and i am alone, i don't wanna feel worse than i already feel a cause of that. Instead i just bought yesterday some medicinal tea that i started drinking before bed, it has flowers that help with the sleepiness, the heart pressure, the breathing, the paranoia, etc. I haven't recovered in a 100% but it feels it is kinda working slowly, im gonna take it day by day

3. I started doing exercise too, and other activities like cleaning everything, cooking, some mental games, etc... so i hope they keep working ( i just started yesterday too) we well see if works too

4. I told my mom how i feel and my sister in law too, my boyfriend calls me everyday and many times at the day, well as much as he can cos work; i've been trying to be honest with my feelings, fears, my concerns, also few friends i have here in france(they are mexican) but working as the same like me. My mom told me that even if we are far, they all (my family) are there for me and my boyfriend too saying he is gonna come soon for me, as soon as we can.

So i am trying to make some changes in my life and stopped keeping things for myself, if you read all this thank you for your time, the post is a bit long. Also i'd love to know something that just happened to me last night...

After i drank the tea that helped me to relax i got sleepy but my boyfriend calls me every night before bed and most of the time stays on the phone all night so we can hear each other's breathing and feel we are together. The thing is after the tea i wanted to sleep but he was still busy and told me he won't be long, but he took an hour and i got so angry that told him not really nice things, i was really mad and kinda getting anxious again. Is that madness a reaction of how i feeling at the moment? cos due that the anxiety started again, i could control it drinking more tea and lying down 'till i fell asleep

Thanks again, i hope my post about the things i am doing helps someone out with the anxiety and the fear of the pandemic.

Vanessa..

Stay all safe and be strong.

[kenster1]

thank you for sharing vanessi hopefully it will help others who have or had been feeling like you.

[vanessi in reply to kenster1]

thank you so much

[Timmypliskin]

Try to hang in th er e and be patient.

Try not to focus on time frames.

We are all in this situation together.

Definitely stay away from TV and social media.

[vanessi in reply to Timmypliskin]

thank you so much