stuck in a low

[Madysen019]

I am stuck in a really low point right now with my depression. I have been sleeping all day for the past week and half since I self quarantined.

Today was the first time I got up “early” which was still 1 pm.

I’m supposed to go back to work on the 6th but I don’t know if I can do it. I feel like I still need time to pull myself together and 5 days is NOT enough.

My parents however have a different opinion and tell me I just need to “stop making a big deal out of everything” and want me back at work.

However, I have a weak immune system and asthma and someone at my job was diagnosed with Corona Virus 2 days ago officially. They haven’t worked in a week but I’m still scared.

Plus my mental health is not passing the vibe check right now.

I’m afraid If I don’t go back, my parents will just continue to belittle my well being and make getting better way worse.

Advice?

[Hidden]

I hear you. It is okay to be scared. I want to state a few of things that may be a bit unpopular ... 1. You don't have to go back to work. Ever. No one can force you to do so. However, do you want to go back? Listing the pros and cons, do you want to or need to in order to make things better (or, not worse) for your "future self" (this future self thinking has been one of the ways I've used to cope with the deep dark thoughts I've had in the past).

2. Focusing on the number of days not being enough will ensure that you stay stuck in your feelings and thoughts. Instead, flip the coin. You only have the number of days you have, you need to -- if you are going back to work (it's your decision), you need to come up with a plan for you to be the best self you can be and just go and do it. And I would suggest spending only a limited time thinking about this. Then, write, read a book, watch videos, respond to people on this site... anything else except thinking about going back to work.

You either go or you don't. I know that our minds will trick us to making that more complicated than it is.

3. The people in our lives are not always (sometimes never; and those are the people we have to eventually let go in one way or another) very supportive. Sometimes not engaging them in certain topics is the only way we can get along with them. Just a thought.

I wish you luck in making it back to work. Take good care.

[robbylynnofnm]

Madysen when I am feeling like this it annoys me to no end. Here it is the second and you are worried about going back the sixth. All that energy into the negative is taking away the positive of this moment in time. When I get stressed out like this and sleep endlessly with negative dreams, despair, and feeling so tired from all that negative cycle of thoughts it is so overwhelming and hard to get out of it. The way I actually do get out of it is a struggle but I can do it. You can too. It takes the decision to not wait until you feel safe, until you feel happy, until you are treated better by your parents, etcetera, etcetera. You just make the physical motion of starting your day and doing something you like "without" waiting for the feeling that you "can".

This sounds simple but it oh so isn't. I know. It sucks. But if you get out of bed, make yourself take a shower, get dressed as if you are going somewhere and do something you like to do...whatever it may be...you are taking the first step to taking back your life and escaping from all the guilt, shame and despair of doing nothing. You can't control your parents behavior as you well know. It is what it is. You can only control yourself. You'll be surprised how after you have made these small steps "without waiting to feel like doing it" you can change your situation. It's the only thing that works for me. Hope this helps. But I hear you. It's difficult. But you CAN do it.