Stuck

[MandyBueno]

Hello all ! It’s been a while that I have posted here. So i would like to share with you all what I’m going through and I’m open to advices.

So I’m not an US citizen , I live in this country legally through a program called “ au pair” you come here to love with a host family and in exchange you get your own room, car, and you get paid a weekly stipend and then you take care of their kids.

To sum up, I’ve had a very bad experience in this program. I lived with a mother family then I moved again to another family’s house and I’m with them now. In this meantime a lot of things happened, I met my boyfriend and I’m considered part of his family so all my weekends I go to his family’s house ( which is a plus). But five days in the week I’m here with this family. They have four kids, one girl and three boys. The boys have no discipline, they are mean and they have so not behave at all. The youngest one threw a metal water bottle that hit my head and I almost passed out. The older ones are really complicated as well, they shout, throw fits, and they don’t get along with anybody. The house is always dirty, the parents are ok. But the dad has a short temper as well, since the house is not that big I can hear everything. They fight constantly and I am often woke up to his screams ( I found out through a friend that the cops were called on him before). I also have to share the bathroom with the boys ( it’s always a mess) . There are a lot of issues, I have privacy and when I’m off work I can hear them all the time. Now you ask me... why don’t you go to another family? Well cause it’s not easy! I’m attached to my boyfriend and his family, they are the only people I have here in the US, the only people that feels like family and really care about me. Every time I get sick, or need help, they are here for me. Living in this country by myself it’s scary. I had no one until I met him. Yes, I do have the opportunity to go to another family, and in one month time I will have to give the agency an answer, if I want to extend the program with the same family or if I want to extend with a different one. Yes, I would like my second year to go by smoothly only to compensate this first year. But moving to another family means probably having to leave the state I’m in, and it also means leaving the people I love. I’m on the fence, if I stay with my current host family, I will have to put up with this for one more year, if move with another family, I will leave people I love. I’m a mess!

[newcomit6]

what you cant understand

[newcomit6]

you living in a mess

[newcomit6]

i wish you get clean house and live in freedom not fear

[newcomit6]

i will help you if you get stuck i will be your friend and your savor from this mess

[VDC1]

That’s a complex situation. I guess the answer depends on what you value more, your boyfriend, or living in the US. If you are that close with the boyfriend, marriage would solve the problem.. Or, forget the boyfriend. I’ll marry you if you want to come live in Canada. 🤣 Kidding.

[lonelygirl28]

What happens after another year if you choose to stay ?

[Marc787]

Hello Mandy,

Wow, I commend you for traveling to a different Country and helping and giving your service to others. Its very hard when your in a situation like this. Do you have a obligated contract with the Company that sent you there? Work on getting a US citizenship, so you can stay there. Until then do your best to help the family your staying with or do what's best for you and only you, don't sacrifice. Follow your heart, intuition, What does your gut tell you.

[Agora1]

Dearest Mandy, Your safety comes first...my fear is that something can happen

while living in that unstable situation. A lot can happen in another year. Talk with

your boyfriend and his family since you are so close. They may have good advice

for you. Good Luck. I wish you the best. xx

[Hidden]

You should not have to live in fear like that. It is an unsafe environment for you. If you and your bf love each other then you can make it work if you leave the state. But living in fear for your safety for the sake of a guy is not a smart idea. If you two are serious about each other, marriage will take care of your immigration situation. I hope you find peace happiness and safety. Irie vibration to you, one love.