Lost, stuck and helpless

[BlueMoon29]

Not a question, just sharing. Lately my depression and anxiety have been overwhelming. I feel lost, stuck and helpless. I know what I need and want to do but there's so many thoughts in my head and so much sadness I'm feeling that I end up not doing anything. It's getting worse and I have no one to talk to. I hate to even say it but suicide has been on my mind more often. I just see no promising future for myself.

[GmaLuLu]

Please know that you are not alone. I'm struggling with the anxiety of possibly losing my job (23 years oil and gas accountant) and being confined at home isn't helping. I have to stop and breathe and do my best to clear some of the clutter from my mind. My therapist is trying to help me with "mindfulness" exercises. Trying to be mindful of right here, right now, breathing deep and just be aware of the breathing. I know it's not easy - please hang in there.

[BlueMoon29 in reply to GmaLuLu]

I'm so sorry to hear. I truly feel like a whiner right now complaining about my situation at this devastating time. Twenty-three years should prove itself that you are a hard dedicated worker. I really hope your job security will not be compromised especially by something out of your control.

[GmaLuLu in reply to BlueMoon29]

Thank you! And you are by no means a whiner - life just kicks us in the butt sometimes and we just need to hear we are not alone. I think "control" or lack of control in taming our thoughts is the issue, don't you?

[BlueMoon29 in reply to GmaLuLu]

I definitely do. I can never get my mind to just "shut off" or to stop the negative thoughts that weigh me down.

[WingOver in reply to BlueMoon29]

I notice that even in the midst of your depression, you are somehow able to reach out and give kind support to BlueMoon29. Being able to support someone else in need, even when you are hurting, is such a sign of strength. Do not give up on yourself, there is so much obvious strength in you. Hang on some more, you have more worth and value than you can see right now.

[BlueMoon29 in reply to WingOver]

Thank you, I appreciate that very much. Helping other people is the only thing I've ever been good at but lately I'm so stuck that I can't even do that. I feel completely worthless and without any purpose at all.

[WingOver in reply to BlueMoon29]

You are still good at helping people. That doesn’t disappear when you feel down or worthless, just goes off to the background. It is normal to feel stuck or even worthless when there are so many scary things surrounding us. For me, the best thing is to give myself a little extra care. This is a time to be nice to yourself. Maybe you can make a plan for yourself, just for tomorrow, if one or two things to do that “used to” make you feel better. For example, watch an episode of some silly and lighthearted TV show, even if you have seen it before. Or take 20 minutes and sit outside, just listening to all the sounds you hear. No pressure to do, just listen! This always calms me down a bit.

[BlueMoon29 in reply to WingOver]

Well, now is the best time to do so. I have some shows to watch and small activities. I have friends and family to message or video chat with. The problem is I'm losing my joy in even doing those things.

[WingOver in reply to BlueMoon29]

Be patient with yourself. There will be time later to find the joy, just try to find a little peace or a laugh or a smile right now. That builds the foundation you will need later for joy!

[BlueMoon29 in reply to WingOver]

I will try. Thank you!

[WingOver in reply to BlueMoon29]

Excellent! Drop a note tomorrow about how it is going!!

[BlueMoon29 in reply to WingOver]

I will!

[Skyblue1202]

Talking about mindfulness, maybe try googling Dbt or you tube. Theres lots of calming things out there that may help. I'm using them a lot at this horrible time

[pink318]

Hello,

I’m glad you reached out. Thank you for sharing and even though you are going through your own difficulty you were able to encourage others here in the forum.

Keep sharing. Online groups like this are very helpful especially at this time of social distancing. We are here to uplift one another. Stay safe. Praying for you for peace and strength. Take care.

[BlueMoon29 in reply to pink318]

Thank you! I hope you and your family are staying safe too.