Is there any hope?

[iamtobymorris]

I’ve recently hit rock bottom. I lost my fiancé, almost lost my family, I’ve lost my job and I’ve been struggling with alcoholism. I’ve never really been able to make friends, so I’m extremely lonely. I wish I could just live a normal life, with some close friends, but I just can’t.

[Hidden]

It sounds like you've lost your confidence and good feelings about yourself. I would do things that start building self worth; just some suggestions that have helped me get the ball rolling:

If you don't have a job, you may qualify for free medical care- see a dr, and give some of info you shared here, see if you can get a therapist.

If you are suffering from depression, maybe an antidepressant prescription will help.

Move! Go for a (safe distancing)walk or try youtube exercise videos.

Keep posting here and comment on other posts. It's probably not as good as the real thing, but it helps to engage, anywhere you can find it. Overwhelmingly, people are supportive here.

Check out youtube videos on techniques on improving self-worth and self-compassion. There are so many approaches out there(sometimes its overwhelming) I would say, just use this time to research, and see if you identify with the stories you hear and pursue what resonates with you.

If you are really hard pressed for money, I would try and get another job. I know that many places are downsizing right now, but I know that a few of our local supermarkets can't find enough workers. Maybe its similar where you are (?)

If you are in good health and under 65, I think it's a possibility, plus you're doing a great service to your community. I would take pride in that, if I worked in food service right now.

(I work as the sole caregiver for an 86 year old friend, who I love more than anything, so I've become the human German shepherd and take so much pride in doing a good job, though it is a low status/low paying job)

[iamtobymorris]

Thank you for replying. I’ve always despised myself. I’ve never known how to love myself. I am currently on 150mg or Sertraline and I’ve been on other antidepressants too. With this coronavirus going around it’s making it so difficult to be able to do anything at all

[Hidden in reply to iamtobymorris]

Learning how to love ourselves. That's a biggie, I struggle with too.

A year ago, I went through a depression treatment program, and when they brought up practicing "loving yourself" I thought that was not even on the horizon. Lol.

Maybe, I can stem the deluge of self-hating thoughts, but "love" that's a way off yet. Lol.

It takes a lot of conscience effort, repetition and time to change this- for me anyway .

I take alot of consolation in realizing my low self worth was a lifetime in the making. My lifetime! So, it won't magically disappear overnight.

[zperry4]

Ditto to everything Lady says here. Also realizing that there are a million low risk opportunities to meet people and get involved (volunteering, book clubs, night classes, hobbies). I still have that problem, but it helps to increase the number of people you contact in a day so that you can catch more. Hope it helps.

[Girin07]

As a recovering alcoholic myself, I understand what you're going through. I had hit the rock bottom 2 years ago losing so many things in life and ended up in mental hospital for suicidal depression and alcoholism. I got sober through AA(alcoholic anonymous) and therapy/meds. and live my life again. Please don't give up and seek help. Personally getting sober is my primary step to get on my feet and live with some hope now. AA is great help for me.

[amtt]

there's still hope you know time heals everything as time pass things change you just have to face it with high confidence and have an optimistic mind

[SoberDrunk1]

Yes there is hope. Its an irony. The more desperate we get, the better or the chances. Of course we havent gotten that far where the body is shutting down. I got sober by realizing that I am alcoholic. Drinking huge amount of alcohol is very relatable but the key is our mind tricks us into taking that insidious 1st drink. I too got sober working the 12 steps of AA. I will be able to walk you though the 12 steps, shoot me a message. We can connect through chat.