Laughter is the best medicine... ๐Ÿ˜† - Anxiety and Depre...

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Laughter is the best medicine... ๐Ÿ˜†

โ€ข74 Replies

Hey everyone.. I need a laugh.. tell me your best joke/pun that you know right now please join in !!! Annnnd GO!

74 Replies
โ€ข
Agora1 profile image
Agora1

Here's a true story that happened when my daughter was about 10 years old.

One night as she was doing homework, I was washing my hair in the kitchen sink

when she yelled out from the dining room "mom what does virgin mean". My stomach

dropped and I thought, of all times to hit me with a question about the birds and bees.

I thought for a moment and quickly called out "I hope it's what you are". *Figuring I'll

sit down with her later and have a talk.

Without a missed beat, she yells back to me, "No, not virgin, I know what that is"

"I mean version" Oh happy days :) From that time on, every time I wash my hair,

that thought pops into my mind and brings me a smile.

Life isn't always about being serious, sometimes we just need to embrace the laughter

it can bring. :) xx

โ€ข in reply toAgora1

Haha!!! Love this story thank you for sharing!

hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54โ€ข in reply toAgora1

Oh how great ha ha. x

MrZee profile image
MrZeeโ€ข in reply toAgora1

Agora1,

Reminds me of a funny story. Companies that have โ€œobsceneโ€ words in their email(s) are instantly scanned, yanked and reprimanded.

Once the State of Virginia implemented this system. Well the mail servers instantly got overloaded and overwhelmed โ€˜flaggingโ€™ emails considered obscene.

Virginia contains โ€œvirginโ€ in it. And ka-bang... everyone got flagged! That actually made me laugh.

-MZ โค๏ธ

Postmark profile image
Postmarkโ€ข in reply toAgora1

Now Thatโ€™s a good one... a classic ... ๐Ÿ‘

fauxartist profile image
fauxartistโ€ข in reply toAgora1

That is hilarious....good one.

hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54

What do you call a donkey with 3 legs? A wonkey.

The 7 dwarves were in the bath feeling happy. Happy got out so they felt grumpy. x

โ€ข in reply tohypercat54

๐Ÿคฃ thanks!!!

MrZee profile image
MrZee

Knock knock

Whoโ€™s there?

Scold

Scold who?

Scold outside. Let me in!

โ€ข in reply toMrZee

Hehehehe !!!

Knock knock.

Whoโ€™s there?

A little old lady.

A little old lady who?

All this time, I had no idea you could yodel! ๐Ÿ˜

MrZee profile image
MrZeeโ€ข in reply to

๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

Now thatโ€™s a good one!

sweetiepye profile image
sweetiepyeโ€ข in reply to

Lovey it.

Sillysausage234 profile image
Sillysausage234

Doctor doctor Iโ€™ve got terrible wind can you give me something.....yes said dr I can prescribe you a kite ๐Ÿคช

โ€ข in reply toSillysausage234

๐Ÿคฃ I knew you would have some jokes !

Sillysausage234 profile image
Sillysausage234โ€ข in reply to

Iโ€™m going to bed will have a think tomorrow....goodnight ๐Ÿ˜Š

hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54โ€ข in reply toSillysausage234

Oh dear that's terrible! ๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿคฃ x

hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54

She was on the bridge at midnight

Her legs were all a quiver

She gave a cough and one fell off

And floated down the river.

โ€ข in reply tohypercat54

Hahahaha love this one !!!

hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54โ€ข in reply to

Under the spreading chestnut bow

A young milkmaid sat milking a cow

Along came the farmer and gave her the sack

So she turned the cow over and poured the milk back.

โ€ข in reply tohypercat54

๐Ÿคฃ omgggg This one has got me

hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54

Mobile mobile in my hand

Who is the sexiest in the land

Mobile laughed and gave a grunt

Well it isn't you, you ugly ****

โ€ข in reply tohypercat54

๐Ÿคฃ

hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54โ€ข in reply to

If you want a very rude one I can't post here pm me. x

โ€ข in reply tohypercat54

Always!

MrZee profile image
MrZeeโ€ข in reply tohypercat54

๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

Postmark profile image
Postmarkโ€ข in reply tohypercat54

Now now... you meant โ€œ bluntโ€.... hey, you should be punished .... ( ok... a sick attempt at humor... something very much needed hypercat54.... ROTF

Sillysausage234 profile image
Sillysausage234

Doctor doctor I keep thinking Iโ€™m a pair of curtains...........oh jeez you need to pull yourself together ๐Ÿ˜€....bye

โ€ข in reply toSillysausage234

๐Ÿ˜†

MrZee profile image
MrZee

Knock Knock

Whoโ€™s there?

Voodoo.

Voodoo who?

Voodoo you think you are?

โ€ข in reply toMrZee

Hahahaha!!!

Knock knock!

Whoโ€™s there?

You ..

you who?

Oh yoohooooo to you too ๐Ÿ‘‹

A man walked into the zoo. In the entire zoo the only animal was just one dog . It was a Shitzu !

hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54

Rhubarb Ted

I knew a funny little man

His name was Rhubard Ted;

They called him that because he wore

Rhubarb on his head.

Iโ€™d grown so used to this strange sight;

The cause I did not seek;

But then one day to my surprise

I saw he wore a leek.

I asked him if heโ€™d please explain

And let me know the reason;

He said โ€œIโ€™m wearing leek because,

Rhubarbโ€™s out of season!โ€

Ann Oโ€™Connor

โ€ข in reply tohypercat54

Loool aw Teddy!

sweetiepye profile image
sweetiepyeโ€ข in reply tohypercat54

A keeper

MrZee profile image
MrZee

A cute poem from my childhood...

Eletelephony

Once there was an elephant,

Who tried to use the telephantโ€”

No! No! I mean an elephone

Who tried to use the telephoneโ€”

(Dear me! I am not certain quite

That even now I've got it right.)

Howe'er it was, he got his trunk

Entangled in the telephunk;

The more he tried to get it free,

The louder buzzed the telepheeโ€”

(I fear I'd better drop the song

Of elephop and telephong!)

โ€ข in reply toMrZee

Awww love it !! Making me smile

sweetiepye profile image
sweetiepyeโ€ข in reply toMrZee

I remember this one , still love it.

MrZee profile image
MrZeeโ€ข in reply tosweetiepye

When I was a kid we had a childrenโ€™s book that has that poem. I wish I still had that book. ๐Ÿ˜Š

Want2BHappy3 profile image
Want2BHappy3

Great Idea!!! Here goes...Knock Knock...

โ€ข in reply toWant2BHappy3

Whoโ€™s there?

Want2BHappy3 profile image
Want2BHappy3โ€ข in reply to

Iva...

โ€ข in reply toWant2BHappy3

Iva who?

Want2BHappy3 profile image
Want2BHappy3โ€ข in reply to

Iva sore hand from Knocking ๐Ÿ˜Š

โ€ข in reply toWant2BHappy3

๐Ÿคฃ awww

Postmark profile image
Postmarkโ€ข in reply toWant2BHappy3

Iva what or who?

debindurham profile image
debindurham

1: Knock knock

2: Whoโ€™s there?

1: The interrupting sheep

2: The interrupting shee..............

1: BAAA !!!

Smile and stay well! Pass it forward !X

โ€ข in reply todebindurham

๐Ÿคฃ love it thanks for making me smile

Not so much of a joke - but something to lift hearts from Spike Milligan

Smiling is infectious

You catch it like the flu

When someone smiled at me today

I started smiling too

I walked around the corner

And someone saw me grin

When he smiled I realised

I had passed it on to him

I thought about the smile

And then realised its worth

A single smile like mine

Could travel round the earth

So if you feel a smile begin

Donโ€™t leave it undetected

Start an epidemic

And get the world infected

Want2BHappy3 profile image
Want2BHappy3โ€ข in reply to

Your right, Iโ€™m out there only if I need too Iโ€™m a at Risk Senior not seeing any Smiles๐Ÿ˜Š. I get it, Iโ€™ve been watching things that make me Smile or Laugh. And doing things for others giving sanitizer or food to Seniors and Family members, that makes Me feel Good๐Ÿ˜Š. Iโ€™m Struggling myself thinking whatโ€™s going to kill me First the Stress about the Virus or the Virus itself??? ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ™

โ€ข in reply toWant2BHappy3

๐Ÿ’•

sweetiepye profile image
sweetiepyeโ€ข in reply toWant2BHappy3

I've had the same thought and then decided I'll die in my bed of old old age.

โ€ข in reply to

This lovely thanks for sharing

Junella profile image
Junella

My husband told me why people bought so much toilet paper--to wrap themselves in it so no one would come near them.

โ€ข in reply toJunella

๐Ÿคฃ loool he might be right

Hi Hope the blessing from pandora's boxx

Hope your not Blond

What do you call a blond with an IQ of more than 1

Pregnant

x

โ€ข in reply to

Lol

โ€ข in reply to

Hi Hope springs eternal

I just wanted to say I really like that picture

there is something quite compelling about such expression with silence

Peace and good Karma to you

MaxV4 x

fauxartist profile image
fauxartistโ€ข in reply to

I love blond jokes, was one most of my young life....now it's the silver white or the bottle blond....I'm good with 'o naturel'....

โ€ข in reply tofauxartist

O natural that paints a picture, would make a great pseudonym

x

san_ray70 profile image
san_ray70

Husband and wife sitting together, he turns and says did you say something?

She replies That was 2 weeks ago!!!

โ€ข in reply tosan_ray70

๐Ÿคฃ thatโ€™s me and my husband ๐Ÿ˜

โ€ข in reply to

2 weeks he obviously needs better reading materiial

x

sweetiepye profile image
sweetiepyeโ€ข in reply to

same here

fauxartist profile image
fauxartist

how do you know when an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

He leaves his footprints in the jello.....

โ€ข in reply tofauxartist

Cuteee! Although this week Iโ€™ve only just noticed how small our freezer actually is .. why did nobody tell me ๐Ÿค”

fauxartist profile image
fauxartist

Whats green and red and goes a thousand miles an hour?

A frog in a blender....

* was a joke our 6 year old told us so please PETA friends forgive me.

โ€ข in reply tofauxartist

๐Ÿคฆโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ˜‚

โ€ข in reply tofauxartist

Lmaoooo ๐Ÿคฃ risky!

lovetodance2018 profile image
lovetodance2018

Love this idea. Unfortunately I am not a comedian but I love to hear and read others jokes.

Too me the toilet paper disappearing out of the stores is funny., ๐Ÿ˜

san_ray70 profile image
san_ray70โ€ข in reply tolovetodance2018

It would not be funny if you get a funny tummy!!!!!

I through a boomerang a few years ago... now I live in constant fear.

โ€ข in reply to

that is very amusing a guys approach to sensible just cant stop throwing it away

what do you call a brunet sandwiched between 2 blonds

an interpreter

x

sweetiepye profile image
sweetiepye

That's about my speed. Thanks !

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