Baby steps, keeping calm ... I'm doing my best not to go mad. I had good plans that kept me going and I was positive but with the virus all this is ruined...
I needed a focus and a new qualification so I've been preparing for an exam for a year now. But what if they cancel it ( it's 19 June) ? I lost motivation and wonder if this is my depression or the situation ? Will I be interested again in this diploma ? I paid £700 for the exam, can't just give up can I.. ??
I was also trying for a baby but I'm on antidepressants again and my operation was cancelled
How to change my thinking? I'm so negative. Intrusive thoughts are attacking me e.g " you will fail the exam anyway"
" You won't get pregnant" " you're too old to be a mother "
So tiring.... We can't plan anything can we ? Tell God about your plans and he will laugh.
Is it typical for anxiety to look ahead instead of living in the present ?
Joanna
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Jiwa
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Yes. My anxiety lies to me and tells me I am doomed. The future is black and full of failure. And my depression lies and tells me I should be sad about this impending doom and gloom. And failure. I should cry from the sadness of it all. There's no reason to get out of bed.
It's all lies.
Positive thinking can be developed if only a little at a time. But, for me, I also need professional help. My psychiatrist handles my meds and my therapist takes care of my counseling.
But then I have to put in a lot of work on my attitude. I need to be gentle with myself. Practice breathing exercises. Meditation. Physical exercise. Eat right. Mindfulness. Acceptance. That kind of stuff.
Don't believe the disease. Just accept it as best as you can and take care of yourself. We're all here for you.
Its logical it's not just me having these weird thoughts but it's good to read a message like yours because my mind is playing tricks and not accepting the fact that certain thoughts/ behaviours are just symptoms of an illness. And illness that can be successfully treated.
One of the benefits that came from my breakdown was the ability to be easier on myself. I was a master at self flagellation. I never got off my own back. But to get through that year and a half black hole, I needed to take "care" of myself. The disease is brutal on the self esteem. I must believe I am worthy.
But, like I said, I can't do it on my own. I need my professionals and meds. For me. Everyone is different. And what works for me may not work for someone else.
Joanna your mind if playing tricks on you just like mine does. It’s funny when it’s someone else you can see it so clearly but when it’s you it seems so real and believable. You can do this exam. And you will be a mother, and you’re absolutely not too old. I’m a 41 year old pilot, and have been in a hole for four months after a breakup. I really want a family and thought I at least had my career sorted - and now the virus and impacted that badly. We are going to survive and be happy again I promise!!! Remember that our depressed minds play tricks on us. Remember that you’d never talk to a stranger the way your own mind is talking to you. I wish you a calmer and beautiful day. This is my first post so not sure if we can write directly to each other but feel free to do so. Lincoln
Hi. Thanks for replying !!! So you're off work at the moment... obviously with all the flights cancelled. Must be hard. I hope it won't last more than 3 months. Just like in China.
You're right...I would never say to someone what I constatntly repeat to myself. Or it's just my anxious mind playing tricks as you said.
This virus is terrifying and we are all suffering in some way because of it. 100%.
I think your loss of motivation is mainly because of the date moving, that happens for all things when it gets pushed back. The work for it doesn’t necessarily need to be done as quickly as before or can be put off for quite some time. Right now, you need time and now you have time, to relax and work to settle your thoughts and mind.
Changing your thinking is challenging, I’m personally on the same path right now. I am so stuck on being positive and confident, etc. it starts with questioning those negative thoughts. Negating the negatives! Use logic and reason. “I’ll fail the exam anyway”....”No I won’t, I’ve been studying and preparing for weeks/months”. (Don’t let the date change throw you off, it is more time for your health and your preparing.)
silly as it seems I’ve occasionally listened to those “meditations” or simply put, 8 hour YouTube videos that are affirmations and supposed to help dig into your subconscious. I always wake up happy. It’s that simple task of reaffirming good and positive confident thoughts. “I got this” “things are going to work out for me”.
Tell god about your plans and he will laugh. Absolutely incorrect. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve cried to him, praying for a simple sign to keep living, to provide me with some guidance so that i can find my way, or have some form of hope. He has always provided. Sometimes we don’t realize it until it’s too late or we’re too stubborn or in our own heads to. I’m not super religious, I don’t attend church, but I pray, I depend heavily on my faith and those looking down and guiding me to ensure I continue to live.
I remember a quote, I’m going to butcher it, but it essentially said “we keep seeking god and when he gives us the flour, eggs, and sugar, we are too lazy to put in the work to get what he is leading us up to.” That was a very choppy rendition, but what it means is god answers our prayers, not in the ways we wish. We want him to do the work, fix that and better this, but he gives us tools and steps so that we may utilize them to get what we want.
I constantly look ahead, more so than the present and it is nerving. Constantly feeling or worrying about what will come, what won’t or will happen. What is meant to happen. It’s often what takes me away from living in the moment and enjoying the life I’m living.
I hope this isn’t a helpless mess for you to read, just some advice with what I’ve got.
Thanks a lot for your message. It does help. Thanks for the quote, it makes sense. I will try to negate the negative thoughts although it's a long journey... And requires a lot of self discipline.
Bad thinking habits can be deeply rooted. My life experience reinforced these habits. Time for a big change..
I can totally relate regarding the change of plans and trying for a baby then getting covid and as a result, dealing with the mental and physical ailments it’s been rough... And yes , very typical!!!! Worry and fear of the uNknow is a beast to overcome !
today, I finally decided I would take baby steps and speak to others likeminded , going through similar issues and see how i can learn from their successes and strengths
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