Only half here

[gilded_masquerade]

I don’t know if this is really anything (I’d also like to say that I’m NOT looking for a diagnosis or anything) but sometimes I feel like I’m not really here.

I could be out with friends or in the middle of a conversation and I feel like I’m on autopilot just watching everything but not experiencing that moment. Kind of like I’m living in a dream or something.

I don’t really know how to explain it so I’m sorry if it’s confusing 😅

Does anyone else feel this way or am I alone on this?

[Sillysausage234]

Oh yeah ...count me in on the only half there club

[Hidden]

I used to have the same sensation in my teens, sometimes I would yawn and that sometimes helped or swallow a glass of

water Try swallowing making your ear pressurize and click by the swallow that can also clear this problem for many It seems to stop as we get older for some reason

BOB

[Elienne]

You most definitely aren't alone in feeling what you described so well, g_m. Many others experience (or have previously experienced) the sensation of "watching ... but not experiencing [the moment] ... like ... living in a dream ..." There's actually a name for the condition and it's treatable for those who want help in healing and recovering. Does the following seem to fit?

"Depersonalization/Derealization Disorder:

Depersonalization/derealization disorder involves significant ongoing or recurring experience of one or both conditions:

Depersonalization – experiences of unreality or detachment from one’s mind, self or body. People may feel as if they are outside their bodies and watching events happening to them.

Derealization – experiences of unreality or detachment from one’s surroundings. People may feel as if things and people in the world around them are not real.

During these altered experiences the person is aware of reality and that their experience is unusual. The experience is very distressful, even though the person may appear to be unreactive or lacking emotion.

Symptoms may begin in early childhood; the average age a person experiences the disorder is 16. Less than 20 percent of people with depersonalization/derealization disorder first experience symptoms after age 20."

Excerpted from the webpage titled "What Are Disassociative Disorders?" at the American Psychiatric Association website.

psychiatry.org/patients-fam...

Oftentimes some kind of traumatic experience underlies the condition, the condition arising from the need to mentally distance oneself in order to survive.

I experienced trauma in childhood and personally suffered from the condition in my youth and young adulthood.