Been a year now, after the breakup. I'm not getting better for some reason.

[helptalk]

From what all I've read, I have codependency, big time. Was with my lady friend for over 15 years. She moved out of state to be with her ailing older sister, who was not expected to live long, but is improving in her health. For some reason, she has now broken off just about all contact with me.

A friend said to me "well, blood is thicker than water". Big help, huh? Lately, I've been having higher than normal blood pressure, panic attacks and really bad depression. I thought she was coming back in a month or so at most. Really down now.

[LilyAnnepuppy]

Sounds to me like there’s some grief there, too. Fifteen years is a long time to be with someone.

Since you’re on the anxiety and depression site, I’m assuming you’ve been diagnosed with one or both of those.

Are you presently on meds, or receiving therapy?

[helptalk in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

Never diagnosed, just know how I feel. I'm taking several natural supplements that actually are helping. Kanna and lithium orotate are helping me along with ashwagonda for stress. The supplements do help,.

[Heidi_SF]

It sounds like you're going through complicated grief. A good therapist, or grief therapist, might be able to help you. It's something I've been through too. Your symptoms are very familiar to me.

[helptalk in reply to Heidi_SF]

I do agree, just don't have the funds at present for a therapist. Wonder if there are any online free for short visits maybe over Zoom. I may look into that.

[jackiesj]

There may be a time problem and if caregiving is sooooo hard response not needed...maybe give a break and just let her be..she may reach out to you. co dependency...i believe we all have but to be suffocated is not good. i have panic attacks but makes me aware and experience..stronger. yes you panic, she is not there but you have you and Heavenly Father/ Jesus walks beside you. your doc and invite friend over for a set down and game? If your lady sees you are developing and not putting it on her..finding yourself...it feels wonderful as a woman. Told my husband if i passed he would remarry in at least 6 months for a maid. at least you arent lonely in a home with her there...lonliness is normal grief also....find you find a hobby...keep the doc. do you sleep?

[helptalk in reply to jackiesj]

Well, its been a year, so I am giving her time. Problem was, the way she was crying and told me the sister was dying and didn't have long, I thought she would not be gone long. The sister owns the house and has promised it to my girlfriend when her sister passes. Been praying daily she somehow returns soon, but so far that doesn't seem likely.

[EndUser13]

15 years is a hell of a commitment, who wouldn't be hurt!? I'm sorry, that sucks 😔

I never liked that quote. My blood sucks, bunch of ********! I have a small circle of friends I've made my family. I feel a bit lost trying to 'make new friends' in modern times but it's worth putting yourself out there when you find a few cool people. I hope this sadness passes for you soon.

PS- grief has no time limit.

[helptalk in reply to EndUser13]

Thanks. Yeah, I don't like that saying either, but its been around forever. I have only one really good friend who knows all about this. He unfortunately told me: "I'm not going to sugar coat it, I don't think she's coming back".

[jackiesj in reply to helptalk]

I too have one good friend. but finding i need to be a friend also to others and self... it may come...but feels slow..there are friendships here.best wishes.

[helptalk in reply to jackiesj]

Thanks. Yeah, hoping to make a few friends here. Just talking about it helps.