The Shame Spiral of a Slip Up

I was doing rather for a few weeks and then I let myself lie down today and take a nap which led to me not being able to get up and falling back into that damn pit. All of my loneliness came bubbling back up and the reality of being a friendless loser smacked me in the face and I ended up hurting myself. Then the shame pops up because why am so weak that I can't simply deal with this like an adult without having to resort to self harm? It's as if my self hate needs to be worn on my body to remind myself that I'm worthless and deserve to be marked as such.

[imnotnervous]

I am so sorry that you feel like this. I relate to this at the moment and i hope everything starts to improve for you soon

[Hidden in reply to imnotnervous]

Thank you, I hope it gets better because I cannot continue to live with this cycle.

[Hidden]

It is like you are warring with yourself. Our minds love to lie to us and like a bad lover... we believe the lies every time. Stop and look in the mirror. Tell yourself you are valuable. We are not perfect but we are priceless gems. Not valuing ourselves is like looking in to a smoking mirror. Just because we tell ourselves these lies does not make it so.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you, it's hard because a lot of the things I beat myself up over are true: I have no friends, no job and I've never been in love. Those aren't things I'm lying to myself about, in order to feel valued, I need those things in my life. It's a hard cycle to break.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

It was more your last sentence that grabbed my heart. No matter what, a person is never worthless. 💜

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you!

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Here’s a virtual grandma hug!

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

You're very sweet, thank you for the hug.

[froggymom88]

Please stop saying these negative things about yourself and to yourself. If you feel some are true work on them one a t a time to change them. Replace these very hurtful and negative statement with positive ones and tell yourself these things often. There are some resources here that might help you with the self harm (bit.ly/2TzWSwN ). You are one of a kind and have worth. I will be praying for you.

[Hidden in reply to froggymom88]

Thank you, your kindness means so much to me. I'm taking it one day at a time and I will check out the resource you provided.

[froggymom88]

I am still praying for you and have not forgotten. I hope you are well.

[Hidden in reply to froggymom88]

Thank you, I am doing my best here.

[Sunsett]

I am sorry that you feel this way. But always remember you are worthy. We can get through this. Always stay strong! We’re all here for you!

[Hidden in reply to Sunsett]

Thank you so much for your kindness, it really helps.