LIFE

[RedBird09]

I haven't posted anything in a few weeks, I have closed myself off from the world for a minute. I'm literally living in my own Hell. I can't control my thoughts and actions. I wished I could. It has gotten a little better. Who am I trying to convince. I'm a freaking wreck right now. I wake up and say ok World what do you have in store for me today? My life sucks. But I continue to put on a happy face and deal with it. If I even attempt to explain how I'm feeling my daughter and only child just told me that she needed me to get my act together if not she was going to have me committed. OMG! A 28 yr old child is blaming me for her mistakes. I tried, I was a single parent with a career and teenager who put me through hell and she has forgotten that part. I never gave up. She had everyone thinking I was a crazy mother. I never even new it until a couple of years ago. Now I Know why everyone at her school looked at me oddly. Also I was talking care of my sick mother through all of this. IDK was I truly that bad of a mother and person. To her I was the worst according to her. But her problem is she was the only child and only granddaughter. She was spoiled Brat. She had everything given to her from a new car to a house. Everything paid for. But now she is trying to tell me I should be thankful. I am! She doesn't call me and check on me. Only when it's convenient for her. She lives next door but never comes over and visits. But she has a car a home and a good Career. But I get control of myself. She is ashamed of me. She never introduces me to any of her friends or her boyfriend. No one. And she even See's a Dr. I never new that. My grandson called me a crazy old lady. I wonder where he heard that from. I'm so dishearted and hurt and so many emotions going through my head. I can't deal.

[Agora1]

RedBird09, My heart goes out to you. Nothing is more hurtful then our

grown children who turn their backs on us after all we did for them.

I never wanted anything in return but respect. I too was taking care of my

mom while raising my daughter as a foster child. I did spoil her and now that

she is 26y.o. her hand is always out looking for more.

I've since made a full recovery from anxiety but it wasn't easy. The turning

point was when I needed to call 911 and I heard her telling the paramedics

that I was crazy. It would have been less painful to stab me in the heart.

I'm glad you have turned to us. There are many on here

who can understand the emotional pain this causes. We all deserve to be

respected. You are not alone RedBird xx

[RedBird09 in reply to Agora1]

Thank you so much for understanding. Cause I get it from no one in my family.

[CanuckAnon]

I’m here and was exactly where you feel you are before I joined this site. My kids have their own lives so I get that as well, trying to raise them best I could alone, working 2 jobs to provide for them while taking care of my mom who had a stroke. It’s hard and kids seem to remember times you had to work vs do for them. I’m so sorry your daughter appears to be blocking out good and just seeing bad.

None of this is your fault! You are not to blame! Do you have activities that bring you joy outside of your not so supportive family? Do you get chance to sit outside and just enjoy a beautiful day or simple things? Do you reward yourself with treats just for yourself?

Would it not be better to have a full life so that she is wondering what you are up to instead of you wondering why she only visits when it works for her? Could you try involving yourself as a spectator to your grandsons activities like go watch his soccer or whatever games but don’t necessarily approach him? Let him know you are supportive of him and what he is doing? What about gardening so that you have beautiful flowers to look at? Veggies to eat?

You need to love yourself because I am hearing you feeling like you do not matter in their eyes but what about your own eyes? That is important! I am here to talk anytime you want and yes you do matter. You are not alone! 🌷🌻🤗

[Jackie010208]

I can’t imagine. I’m so sorry. You clearly are a very strong not only mother, but woman. I don’t know details obviously of your story but I hope you know that she loves you. I resented my mother as a teen..come to find out we’re exactly the same person. I wrote my mother a letter once..telling her everything that was in my mind. How she hurt me did supper me..everything. It took time but we’re getting there. This was a rant cause I have so many things to say... anyways... maybe write her a letter. There’s always 2 VERY IMPORTANT sides to a story. ❤️

[wantobefree]

Compassion is one of the hardest things to feel and give to someone. Clearly your daughter doesn't know how to feel this. But you can. Have compassion for her, because unfortunately in her process she can't see you, or see everything that you have done and that you are. Our children don't really belong to us, they come through us but they belong to the world. Having said that, understand that she is her own person, living her own life, consciously or unconsciously and she is going through her own process just like you. I understand that it hurts, but you have to accept where she is at and focus on getting better. That is the best gift you can give yourself, your health and great state of mind. And let me tell you, you can do it, you have the strength. So, my advice is, turn your focus on you right now, not on her and what she thinks. Giver her space and give yourself the space necessary to heal. Allow yourself to heal. Please message me if you need more help.

Much Love to you.