Tired of Medication

[puppypancakes3]

It hurts to think that I might have to take medication for the rest of my life. I hate the side effects and the way it makes me feel so dull. I just want to be normal. I want to live a normal life without having to take medication in order to not feel like I want to kill myself everyday. I hate that I feel so bad when I'm not on it, and I hate how far away I feel when I am. I hate how I don't even know if the medication is actually working until I stop taking it. It's like I will never just be me and be happy ever again. How can some people live their whole lives without ever taking an antidepressant or antipsychotic just to feel okay? I'm jealous of those people. Those people who don't even know how it feels to hate yourself this much. So much that you just want to end it all. Why can't I just live my life like them. Free of this pain and constant worry about when the next depressive episode will come. Free of the medication trials, the awful side effects, the costs of monthly prescriptions. Why can't I just be like them? Instead here I am, waiting for my next refill to be ready, just hoping that it will ease the pain again.

[Timmypliskin]

Couple of things to keep in mind.

If you had diabetes or other illness, you would have to take medication.

All the other people who you perceive as being happy all the time, aren't always so happy, everyone has problems..

I'm still looking for answers too, but sometimes I think we worry to much about taking medications.

I hope your doing better soon.

[chaitealatte]

If you need medicine, don't let your pride control your mental health. Medicine is necessary for some people and THAT IS OKAY.