Attention

[TheBooG]

My fiancé(or whatever we are) says that she can’t give me the type of attention I want because that’s what my mother should have gave me as a child......Ouch

[Daz2310]

Low blow 💥

[CanuckAnon]

Ouch for sure.... I’m so sorry to hear this... could they be reacting to how you have been?

Could they be emotionally detaching for their own self preservation? Perhaps they are feeling low and can’t give you that kind of attention now? Have you asked them if they are ok and need to talk? Maybe if you try to put them first they might reciprocate attention after you have made them feel valued and heard....?

Sometimes this helps... could be they feel like they are on the inbalanced side of the give and take ratio....

[LadyZen]

Maybe consider couples counseling before walking down the aisle.

[TheBooG in reply to LadyZen]

Absolutely, thinking about just turning my back on whatever this is

[LadyZen in reply to TheBooG]

That would be another option if you're not that into her.

[MrZee]

Huh? It seems your fiancé could benefit from some therapy.

If you want attention that shouldn’t be compared to what your mother gives you.

I hope this can be resolved.

Best,

MZ ❤️

[BrainFog-Ninja]

Uhhh...Alrighty then to that...Wow! Surely this must have more context to it? Or maybe you were both having a bad day, and miscommunication commenced?

What kind of attention are you needing (that might be considered as missing from your childhood / mother?) Ask her, if you don’t know.

If there is no further context, or specifics, I certainly would go back and ask for examples. Assuming, of course, that this is a free-will type of situation, and that you both started your relationship prior to being engaged (or whatever), and then progressed to a fiancé type status, you should prob just ask her WTH? Lol.

You mention fiancé (or whatever), which would indicate you know each other pretty well, and have been relating for some period of time, and with some amount of success...yes? So what has changed? I would ask those questions certainly.

Maybe you and she are just incompatible in the level of attention / closeness needed from each other (ie high maintenance vs low maintenance?)

Idk. Seems odd, but if you are that quick to walk (cough-run) away from her...sounds like maybe there were previous missteps in the relationship to get you where you are now. If it isn’t worth sorting out—then do yourself (and her) a favor, and part ways now.

Another thought: Maybe she is unsure if you are actually engaged (or whatever), and/or otherwise unhappy with the relationship, and instead of handling it directly—she needs a quick escape route? Just a thought.

Good luck & hope you can sort it out. 🌞 🍄 🦔

[Redheaded]

Ouch 😖