Feeling uneasy

[Bluzzle]

Some days the thoughts that I have will attack me. I continuously block these thoughts, although they nag nag nag....I know that these thoughts are just flawed ways of thinking. Anxiety or depression talking. I feel like the world is judging me when really it is me who judges me. I don't know if this is transferred into what I may find myself thinking about others, maybe it's my defense mechanism? Maybe it's my way of trying to make myself feel better? I do not purposefully judge others, nor do I ever stick to those judgments, but when I pay attention it happens more than Id like to admit. However, I have noticed that these judgements just lead back to myself and how it's like I'm trying to use it to avoid the hateful judgements toward myself. This can feel like a neverending revolving door. Sometimes I don't view myself as a human that has worth or value. I am not someone that could ever be loved and if a person would claim to love me there would be something majorly wrong with them for doing so. I don't deserve what others do and I don't have the right to be posting in this group like I can relate. So negative, I combat it and it continues to scream at me relentlessly....

[Hidden]

I actually wanted to post more today but I was too embarrassed. It felt too needy. I understood everything you wrote there

[Bluzzle in reply to Hidden]

That is one hard thing about joining a group like this... it can be beneficial, but it can also be another area of your life your thoughts and anxieties can try to take over and manipulate. I try to remember no one is judging me here and that this space is meant for that type of release!