New to asking for help

For a few weeks now I have been in such a black hole and I don’t know how to get out of it, I’ve completely lost all self esteem/love/worth, I deleted all social media because I’m finding myself mentally tearing myself apart because I’m not “perfect” like some of these girls and I’m not talking about models I’m talking about normal girls. My insecurities are destroying my relationship and I tried to convince my husband that he deserves perfect and I’m not even close. I feel like I’m never enough, I’ve tried counseling numerous times and the only thing I got out of it was meds that made me a functioning zombie. Has anybody gone through anything like this and how did you get through it? I’m just so lost

[Depresseddoglover]

Hello, I've been there myself. I lost all self worth and felt like an utter failure and as though I will never be good enough. However, I keep trying to practice self compassion - I notice my inner critic and try to challenge it, I try to talk to myself 'as if' I liked myself. Also, I have tried many medications that haven't worked but after much trial and error I found one that seems to be working. I have also been to different counsellors that weren't a good fit until I began group Dialectical Behaviour Therapy. Please rely on the support of your husband. It may seem impossible at the moment but there is a way out of the black hole.

[Hidden in reply to Depresseddoglover]

Problem is I don’t have the time for trial and error or appointments. I work 2 jobs so I don’t even have time for myself. I’ve tried so many different ways to cope and it’s only temporary. And I feel guilty leaning on my husband because I feel like I’m letting him down in the sense that I’m not who he thinks I am. I’ve always kept up appearances and never tried to appear weak and broken. I base my self worth off of how others see me. I’ve always had this problem even as a child, I know where it stems from which is my mother.

[Lindsey14]

Ive felt the same way many many times. But like the others who have commented here perfect is a myth, i can't lie and say I completely love myself but I'm working hard on it. I wish you the best❤