I find it really difficult to connect with people nowadays. People at work or other formal settings is almost zero chance of connecting but even with friends and very recently even when close family members I'm feeling less and less able to connect. I'm worried sick about this, in particular if it happens with my wife or kids. I just can't understand why this is happening. It's like I'm shutting down completely.
Anyone experience this? Any coping strategies?
It sounds like you may just have a quiet personality I can’t quite figure it out.your posts are very intriguing 🤔are you still having trouble at work ?how are things going ?it’s been only a few days since your last post about this it must really be effecting you.have you spoken to a g.p or councillor about how you’ve been feeling lately .are you on any medication for anxiety or depression ?
it sounds as if this one particular thing is having a very profound effect. Do you usually have a very social personality? Have you been introverted most ofour life?
People can end us just being excess noise in our life, we may want to engage but when we do it's really not what we wanted or needed or what you expected. Defining the type of friends a f connections, how much you are willing to give and commit us as much on you as much as they give to you.
Grasping for straws as I'm not entirely sure the problem, but you truly want to work through it, sounds like you need to face your fears. It gets better the more you practice per se. Talking about it is good, finding courage is the next step. one day at a time, one friend or family member at a time. You dont have to take on the world at one time.
I'm really struggling to understand why I'm having these feelings myself and why the situation has become the way it has become.
I've never been a loud person. I've always been an introvert. This has caused me some anxiety in my life but never to this level. I've wished that I was more extroverted so that I could socialize more and enjoyed people's company more but it's been more of an annoyance and maybe little regret but right now it is causing me a lot of anxiety and paranoia. But having said that, I do feel like the situation has never been so bad. I posted today as a result of what happened today. We went for a team lunch today and I made an effort to talk to people but I really really struggled to make much conversation. And it seemed quite obvious that I'm the only one not really making much conversation. One reason why I feel so bad is that it's a new job and I'm a manager so feel this pressure to be more social and have more of a say. This is driving me crazy. But it's not just related to the new job though. I started to feel this inability to connect with people before I changed jobs but I noticed it more with family. Now I really feel it with these work people and my family.
I feel like I want to scream and get this out of my head but just can't seem to and I know the more I think about it the worst it probably gets but again I just can't seem to help it. It has become somewhat obsessive.
you have to be careful as a manager people can try walk over you when your quite especially if your new and theirs more brash personalities and I’m speaking from experience.do you think this role is working for you?that does not mean your incapable of forming friendship or being a manager but as a manager you must distinguish are you a friend or a manager it’s difficult to form friendships as a manager as it is unless it’s with other managers or supervisors you have to distinguish that line.and you must also remember it takes time but the one thing you don’t want is someone trying to take your role away
What’s the issue with family do you have older children ?i have a teenager and noticed I didn’t talk to him much and felt myself drifting him turning into a man I purposely try and talk to my family at dinner time ask how school is just whatever crap to keep our relationship going the one thing you don’t want is to loose connection with them make a point of spending time with them take them to cinema etc
We do make a point of spending good quality time together where we talk and discuss (without phones, TV etc) so that's not really the issue. It's more that I'm feeling like there's less to talk about or the conversations are shorter. But you're right in saying that it's with kids as they get older. I agree, it's something you absolutely have to work on. You can't not give them the time when they are kids and then expect that they'll somehow have this amazing relationship with you later on in life.
Thanks for your reply.
this sounds to me like you need to see a good talk therapist
Didn't know there was such a thing. Do you have any experience with them? Is this something my GP could refer me to?
I agree I feel you issues are much deeper than a lot of us may be able to recognise on here as I said do try talk to your gp and maybe they can give you something for your anxiety you do sound very anxious and maybe slightly paranoid all the best x
And the word I was thinking of which I couldn’t think of it in my replywas withdrawal is what I’m getting from these posts so you may be sinking into depression you feel like life is not worth living and your doing just that going through the motions it’s common with people who are depressed definitely seek help to try get back on form you must speak to a g.p
Yes when I'm having a particularly low mood episode then I definitely feel like I'm just going through the motions but it's not that I don't feel life is not worth living as I know I need to be there for my family. To be honest without my family it would be very difficult to get through those episodes. I'm not sure how I'd get through them if it wasn't for them.
Please try and speak to your g.p it may be hard after your initial visit but make that your first step of feeling better
I'll try and see the GP next week. Are GPs themselves trained to deal with any mental health issues or they'd just do a referral? I assume they just refer. Any idea how long it takes before you can see a mental health specialist?
When I went to my g.p they asked my symptoms and I was offered medication for anxiety and depression I was then referred to an in house specialist so got an appointment within a week as they have their own specialist for that but sometimes there is a waiting list .do you have mind in your area?you could also pop in their they have trained councillors available
same here ..perhaps wanting to avoid dramas ... i’m struggling to, i’m just not interested .. think with me it’s a matter of being mentally drained with people.
I just feel drained of life at times. People, work, the endless demands, the expectations, the little things people get so wrapped up in, the injustice in the world etc etc etc. Just feel like I can't deal with it at times and want to shut down.
Hi jasonbourne,
You are a success and an inspiration to many of us here. You have advanced in your career, and you have a stable family life. So many people can only dream of a life like you have already achieved. Of course it’s ok to recognize parts of yourself that you may not be completely happy with, and want to improve in these areas. However, isn’t it just another one of your strengths that you can recognize areas that you can improve?
There are so many people that don’t want to find their weaknesses, and they certainly don’t want to try to fix them. People may not say it, but you are making a positive impact in your organization, your family and the readers of your posts. Thank You!!
Time to add some spice. This tends to happen when life gets monotonous. Make new memories doing different things.
I am feeling the same. I retired after the Pandemic, move to the country where my wife and kids live, where I only visit in the past and have absolutely no social connection and I am from different culture... I found myself in your situation that I am losing my sense of humor and more distance from my kids now they all grown up and make very good income, making me even less significant. My feeling switching from being angry and concern and dispair.... to make thing worse, I am from a culture different from where my wife and kids grown up... making me a complete outsider or even stranger... not even sharing the similar liking of food.. I really miss the time I had a very close relationship with my boys when they were younger and I was even oversea most of the time.. all in all, anger , despair, fear .. losing all sense of peace..
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