Overthinking

[Kevin160]

Spent the day thinking, realizing how much is making me anxious , and started feeling really sad that i have a whole life that im blessed with , and i really dont want to waste but at the mean time it doesnt feel like its in my control , im frightened with the thought that this all can be taken away from me , its not just the fact of dying , its the fact that there is so so much i want to achieve and experience and i finally feel close enough to be able to start working on my goals, im going to graduate and go to uni and i can sort of start setting resolutions and stuff , but im just in a constant state of overthinking and sometimes constant anxiety , i know this is normal when relapses occur or atleast you can call it “taking steps back” regarding my mental health , but im just struggling with trying to find a way to manage this while i wait for therapy in a few weeks , its not extreme anxiety but i lost some of the progress i gained and the sensitivity to anxiety is much much worse , meaning that im easily getting anxious nowadays , and things trigger me and the usual breathing exercises or techniques just dont cut it , im having trouble sleeping which i didnt have during these few months that bad ..

Just frustrated and angry with myself that i know its not my fault but i just feel so angry that i cant have the peace of mind i desperately want and need , i dont want money or friends to come easily, i dont mind working for those stuff but i just want something that so many people take for granted , i want to not care about someone i barely know ,i want to not care about things out of my control or that wont matter in a few hours or days , i want to be happy and not cover up the panic in me whenever i go to a social event or want to participate in a play or just when im thinking about some future event like exams, holidays , trips etc... , i want to plan for the future without worrying if its going to exist or not , this is very scary for me to talk about and i feel i would jinx it if i ever do but i just want to see people who share the same fears, im worried that anxiety will damage my health , which is a valid thing , its possible , and its making me more anxious, a vicious cycle , yes im finding ways to cope and be less worried but its hard

[Agora1]

Hi Kevin, Happy New Year my friend...All you say is true. We live in a highly

stressed world that doesn't make it any easier for the anxious person. However,

once you have had that taste of freedom and control as you have, don't worry

about the little relapses that may come about. Everybody worries, we just happen

to the "nth" degree.

You know what it takes, you have it in you and so rather than fight the feelings,

reel yourself back in and tell yourself loud and clear "I've got this".

Try not to compare each day with the past or the "what ifs" of the future.

Live in the present moment, embrace your success of today. One step at a time,

you'll reach your goals. I believe in you. xx

[Kevin160 in reply to Agora1]

Thank you so much, you have a point about needing to stop comparing the days , i didnt really realize how much i do it , maybe thats a factor to why i have been feeling so anxious lately because i overanalyze that there is a reason for everything

Im happy that im reaching the main goal which is T H E R A P Y .. it was a main goal for some time and i finally went for it and hopefully it pays off

I cant imagine how much of a pain i was since this journey started a year ago, the bp obsession, the family fights, uni entrance exams and A levels , the panic attacks

Thank you agora , probably thanking you all day wont give justice to what you deserve though ❤️😂

[Agora1 in reply to Kevin160]

You're so kind Kevin, but as I've said before, we are only here to support

and relay our own experiences. It is up to the person to follow through in

what works for them. And you have done an amazing job. Wishing you a

good night xx

[newbie56]

We can do anything together !

United with you, Kevin.