Insecurity and overthinking

[Pastelpurple]

I have horrible insecurities right now and it’s eating me alive, I hate feeling this way I wish I didn’t feel anything, my boyfriend sometimes makes me feel insecure. And I feel like I do everything wrong I’m too hard on myself but I can’t help it. I also have a bad habit of over reacting to everything. I tried writing it down but I can’t help but feel pressure in my chest. Why am I not enough. Not even to myself. I hate being like this I don’t like it at all.

[Tikirob]

Hey! I just wrote thus long response then my phone died before I could press return...so I will try to sum it up in less words:

You are sensitive to things.

This is a good thing!

It shows you care and you are not cold!

I am insecure too.

But I no longer allow people to to not let me have feelings, you are allowed to feel!

Self worth comes from how you feel about yourself like you I always felt like I was doing the wrong thing. This feeling came from how my parents treated me and from my sensitivity.

I am getting better at it now by changing my social environment and applying my “reactions” to art, writing, and trying to help others with mental health disorders like myself.

What makes you upset besides getting upset?

[Pastelpurple in reply to Tikirob]

My own feelings seems to be my insecurity, I need to learn how to accept it. And I’m not quite sure I understand your last question, can u elaborate?

[Tikirob in reply to Pastelpurple]

You are upset by your own insecurity but what else upsets you? Why is the focus on your own feelings?

[Pastelpurple in reply to Tikirob]

I have constant rumination, I tend to overthink and it ruins my whole day

[Tikirob in reply to Pastelpurple]

I hear you on that and I am so sorry you are going through this but please believe me when I say it’s not your fault. If you could help it you would and you even said if you could help it you cwould and that you are trying to accept it.

Unfortunately we live in a society that tends to misunderstand obsessive people, they think we can just stop it on our own if we were willing to try hard enough. I have something called OCD and I ruminate all day and I have looping thoughts of doubt. I have learned to allow these thoughts to share the space in my mind without trying to react to them but it’s a daily battle and I fail often. But since I started trying I am able to more than before. I was so bad I could not touch things with my bare hands, I would say sorry all day, I would ask if I offended someone who I said thank you too, I would ask people if I did something mundane good enough, etc...Have you been to any type of therapy for this?

[Pastelpurple in reply to Tikirob]

I am exactly the same, and no I haven’t tried therapy for some reason I feel scared it won’t work

[Tikirob in reply to Pastelpurple]

So many times I wanted to quit it or not try what the psychologist suggested but over time I eventually learned it’s better to keep trying. I’ve been in therapy for a long time and even when I feels hopeless going to therapy reaffirms that I am not a lazy normal person I am a person with a mental health disorder trying to do better withy life. It’s also good to have an objective professional to give you feedback instead of people who may have a bias.

Please try therapy. And keep up with a supportive group. You will have some really hard moments but eventually you will have more confidence because you will know more about yourself.

[Pastelpurple in reply to Tikirob]

What do you do in therapy ? Just talk or is it mental exercises ?

[Tikirob in reply to Pastelpurple]

With my Therapist we do exposure excercises. Basically with the guide of a clinician you list your obsesssions and compulsions. So let’s just say you consistently worry about something falling off a building and hitting you. That’s the obsession cause it gets in the way of being productive - and because of the worry you avoid any building over three stories - that’s your compulsion.

So your therapist may first have you walk up to a 4 story building once a day for a week and for you it will be super nerve racking. Panicking may happen, anxiety spikes high and all of that, but after a while your mind and body calm down and you are tired.

You keep doing this with larger buildings until you no longer get so nervous you avoid buildings. It’s hard work and it’s scary and it takes lots of fighting your doubt and fears but it makes you stronger.

So yes mental exercises, CBT, some people use EFT on their own too. And although I use this example it can apply to social relationships and many other obsessive circumstances.

I used to not be able to walk on grass but now I do it, with lots of caution- but I do it!

[conquestofhappiness in reply to Tikirob]

"This feeling came from how my parents treated me and from my sensitivity."-- i think we are of similar type. I also have anxiety and OCD.

[Tikirob in reply to conquestofhappiness]

Hey hi! I have OCD but also my parents never encouraged me and got angry for me for being sick all the time and or just were abusive at times. So it made my anxiety worse and it apexesd into severe ocd as I got older. I found out that one of my great aunts had it too. How are you holding up with it and if you don’t mind telling me how long have you been diagnosed for, thanks.