I’m scared to even talk to men now

[Bjo51]

I was with the same man for over 25 years and he was abusive. I’ve been divorced for 4 years now and he’s finally gone for 2 years. I have a bad record for picking the wrong type of man. I like being alone but lately I get lonely.

Dating websites I think are useless. I can’t think if what to write. I talked to one man and he was a scammer, Facebook deleted him. Another man wants me to call him but I worry he’s a scammer also. He just started talking to me on LinkedIn and they don’t have a dating website. He sounds great when we’re writing to each other.

I don’t want to be alone the rest of my life but I get too anxious when I think of calling. Then I take a xanex. If I go to the casino with my cousin I don’t even talk to anyone there. I’m alone with about 500 people there.

[Dolphin14]

Have you spent enough time working on healing yourself? 24 years of abuse is a long time. It's going to take time to recover and gain confidence and trust.

[Hidden]

I think that the most important thing right now is for you to be okay with yourself.

Have some time just for you, do things that you want to do.

About feeling lonely...okay I get that and I know that you'll find someone nice who deserves you but I do think that right now you should focus on yourself and let destiny happen.

Although, if you're really confident about this guy you are talking to, then go for it, but always be careful, don't give your heart right away.

I hope you'll be really happy you deserve it!!

[Afrohair]

Why don’t you have a friend with you if you plan to meet and chat?its normal to be scared on that first call but once you do it you will be fine and if you have a bad feeling you don’t have to move forward.you also don’t have to go on dating sites go for walks visit churches and museums go shopping be a conversation starter dating sites are awful

[Bjo51 in reply to Afrohair]

Thank you Afrohair, I might call.

[Hidden]

Alright you know what you do not like about men. Good idea to set your "filters" beforehand; blacklist scammers, you got that covered. As a sociopath I would like to warn you about my kind. Learn our ways and add that to your database. Though typically not dangerous (that's the psycopaths. Those are the crazies.) we will take advantage of your weaknesses. It's alright, and perhaps a good idea, to go out and about with a close friend. I understand your loneliness all too well. Can't give you any ideas on that, still trying to figure that out myself after losing my spouse. Just set your filters for men on "High" and enjoy yourself being by yourself for awhile. Keep any male friends as just friends. It's a different world these days. Take care.

[Bjo51 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you RondoHunter. I will use filters as you suggest, that’s a good idea.