Curious

[scottwarn]

First a little background I’m in my fifties and have probably suffered from depression for most of my adult life. Most of that time I was also drunk and have been sober for close to three years. This is my first sober major depression so it’s kinda new. My question is this when I see or hear people(I mean all people I don’t discriminate) they seem uglier than they used to if I know them and just plan ugly if I don’t. I wish to make it clear I’m not speaking of physicality (although that’s part of it) It’s the whole package. So is this normal?

[lillyofthevalley37]

Interesting question

[4sure]

It probably means you are seeing them more clearly alas. We have all sorts of defensive mechanisms to hide reality from us. Being 'enlightened' to the reality of being can be quite depressing. I do everything I can to numb my mind, from meditation to medication. Except some methods, like alcohol, nicotine or heroin, add more problems than they help hide, as you have already discovered.

Shallow people have it easier. I know people that live for stuff. Shopping is their drug of choice, and it never ends, unless the money runs out. But what kind of life is that? Better to be a vacuum cleaner.

Some people put all their thoughts to a religious idea. It keeps them thinking about doing good, or doing harm, depending on the variety. It seems like it could be a great method, but for me the physical world is ridiculous enough without adding an even more bizarre metaphysical reality on top of it.

Yes, we can experience great highs, but it's all in our minds, every wonderful feeling soon dissolves into thin air. We keep pushing our heads up above the water so to speak, to gasp for these brief moments, then down we go again struggling not to drown.

So I would say, ya, that's normal unfortunately if you are even somewhat intelligent and perhaps just too awake for your own good. Humor helps. Something to tickle the brain into laughing.

[Hidden]

I have heard that many times when alcoholics get and stay sober, often their relationships can have problems. The sober person is different plus their friends look different thru sober eyes. Maybe you need new friends or maybe just back away and put some space in there until you figure out what it is.