Anxiety from relationship

[HousexHardstyle]

I just broke no contact with my ex and sent her a text asking if she would like to meet up. I am feeling very anxious after sending the text and not hearing from her after a day. What should I do?

[Agora1]

Well...there are a lot of issues regarding what to do. How long was the "no contact?"

Was it a mutual agreement or a legal one? The best thing you can do for now is to

step back and see what happens as you don't want to end up being a stalker.

What will be will be.... xx

[HousexHardstyle in reply to Agora1]

Thanks for your reply Agora, I'm really grateful for it. The "no contact" lasted about a month where I told my ex not to contact me as I work on myself. Next week is my ex's birthday so I thought it would be nice to reach out and perhaps seek some closure. However, now I am just letting myself worry about the reply my ex may or may not give me and it's giving me anxiety and I cannot focus on my work at hand...

[Agora1 in reply to HousexHardstyle]

Oh I'm sorry but I can understand the anxiety. Thank you for explaining the

reason you asked for "no contact". Very reasonable to someone like myself who

has suffered severe anxiety as well as agoraphobia. It's very difficult to work on

ourselves if we are trying to give to others.

Closure is always a part of the healing process. As to the anxiety that you are

experiencing, remember that you can only be responsible for your own actions.

As to how your ex will respond is up to her. All the anxiety and stress over it, will

not change her response. I think you will just have to wait and see. But I wish you

well. xx

[HousexHardstyle]

Thanks for your kind words but do you have any tips to ease the anxiety? I have been having heart palpations and I don't know how to make them better...

[Dickens1001]

Hi, a really horrible feeling for you and totally understand your anxiety, think why you txt in the first place, missing her, lonely etc, sorry if I sound patronising, but it's good to break down why you txt and then do you really think you should be together? Healing is about getting you stronger yourself and not getting someone to make us feel strong, I've been there and it is agonising, waiting and hoping for a reply, then I thought one day, no more relying on others and until I got stronger, I did not realise how I was, now I'm working on me and do not want a relationship until I know my boundaries and my terms, I do wish you well, all the very best 🙏

[HousexHardstyle in reply to Dickens1001]

Hey, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me. I guess I texted her because I wanted some form of closure, and I miss my best friend. I do feel that I am not ready to be together with her right now so I wouldn't want that either but I really don't know why am I stressed/anxious over this.

[Dickens1001]

You are welcome, am I right it was toxic? As no contact is the best way, I came out of a relationship a year and a half ago, very complex and I still have a court case pending for the abuse/assualt towards me. Thankfully, the law imposed that he was not allowed to contact me and I wanted to make sense of what happened but no contact allowed me to see what the relationship was really like and why it happened to me. Over time I've done a lot of inner work and healing and know my worth, and closure is about moving on, with my life and what is good for me, so I would love for you to put yourself first, think what you want out of life, what are your needs, invest in you and time and peace from a messy relationship is a healer, you may feel anxious about the unknown, the future which is normal. What goals no matter how small would you like to achieve? One day at a time 👍🌝 Think ME, thats you!

[Midori]

Leave the ball in her court. You have made the approach, just wait.

Cheers, Midori