I used to get physically abused

[UnderstandingMyPain]

I have a question!!! I used to be physically abused and until this day I have triggers (the part I do understand). Usually when someone gets upset, doesn’t have to be with me, is a trigger. I start to visual me getting abused. I can see the abuser getting upset, I can visualize him hitting me. Is the visualization “normal”?

[Lindaluu123]

Hey girl . I can understand you entirely on this .

I was abused throughout my childhood and even recently just in relationships.

These things break us in ways that we don't even realise.

There are small things that trigger visions .

Smells , events , objects , people.

It is normal and it is okay.

I would say it's a lil bit of a case of trauma.

And these events affected you more than you truly know .

I don't know if you have or are seeing a therapist , but I find that talking about these things as hard as they may he.

Releases alot of fear and anger and hurt that you still have to these happenings.

Stay strong, routing for you .

[UnderstandingMyPain in reply to Lindaluu123]

Okay I didn’t realize it was associated with trauma. I was physically abused for three weeks and I had to get out immediately. The abuser increased his abuse so rapid to pulling hair and then in a matter of a week it went to pushing me in my face. I couldn’t deal with it and had to get out and I called the police and he is in jail. Good idea I’ll see a therapist.

[Lindaluu123 in reply to UnderstandingMyPain]

You should , talking about this could help you , these things happening out of the blue can really take a toll on us . I am so sorry this has happened to you , I hope you recover soon and that these visions subside and that you can move on with your life free from this , all the best.

[UnderstandingMyPain in reply to Lindaluu123]

Thank you 💜 for your support

[Poodie in reply to UnderstandingMyPain]

Yes sounds like flashbacks. For some reason years ago I had never thought of my abuse as PTSD, however I was diagnosed that and it is what the trauma of abuse does to us. I used to hear sounds that wound trigger reminders of my abuse. It’s like our minds want us to remember and allow us to talk about it. I had completely denied / could not remember my abuse happened. Then someone in my family later confessed to me what went on. I still hated him but I was thankful he told me because I had wondered if I had imagined it!

Getting help thru therapy is a great idea.

Too bad your mom is there. If she is being abusive now tell her for me in no uncertain terms to lay off! Maybe you are getting somewhere talking to her ? I never wanted to do that. Mine was totally incapable of being any different so I made others my family.

When I finally was sick of it, I told someone in my family to stop bothering me, only I did not say it that nicely. He acted as if I was psychotic!!! saying “ it is me, I am your uncle.” I felt like saying, No kidding Sherlock ! I repeated what I said and told him I knew exactly who he was !

This is really a quite typical response these people have if you decide to call them on what they are doing. They make you into the crazy one. It is disgusting how much they need to keep you as a victim and how powerful they think they are. But I was an adult then, not a child and I had gotten stronger thru therapy.

Good luck to you.

[UnderstandingMyPain in reply to Poodie]

Wow thanks for taking your time and sharing. That is exactly how I feel. I have tried to talk to my mom and even took the time to explain to her the effects but she is another one, I believe she is incapable of understanding and so veryyyyyy stuck in her ways that she can’t even stop. I am hoping she leaves in Jan. I even asked her but she wants to stay around. Yeah the more and more that I am dealing with the anxiety, flashbacks and all the multiple other triggers I realize how it is PTSD. Like I said before I didn’t even see it that way, similar to yours.

[Poodie in reply to UnderstandingMyPain]

Good luck with it. I know it is tough to ask her to leave, but well i suppose you did do that. . Maybe you could find some completely neutral things to do together that you find enjoyable. Go to a museum, movies , plays. ? You won’t have to interact with her as much.

I used to find it so hard to be with my family. I never knew why really, but I always felt so worthless around them. I would end up feeling depressed after seeing them. Once I set some limits, I thought they actually changed !

I don’t think they ever really changed. They just acted differently because they could no longer get away with it. People do not change that easily, especially if they see nothing wrong with themselves. I do think they can learn to control themselves if they are not too sick. People should not be allowed to make other people miserable.

If you get a chance, read the book, People Problems by Alan Godwin. He explains certain people well. Reading it may help you deal. Good luck.

[All_alone]

I'm sorry. ❤❤

[UnderstandingMyPain in reply to All_alone]

Just learning, it’s okay. 💜

[All_alone in reply to UnderstandingMyPain]

It sounds like it would be hard to see it happening and the feelings attached with it.

[UnderstandingMyPain in reply to All_alone]

It is. My mom being here visiting doesn’t make it any easier. She is so emotionally abusive. She actual triggered it. So I’m just dealing with it, trying to talk it out.

[BossMom2019]

My dear you have ptsd, for a person with ptsd it is perfectly normal... you were traumatized, just be easy and patient with yourself my love 💙

[UnderstandingMyPain in reply to BossMom2019]

Thank you, I just never thought about it that way. 💜

[BossMom2019 in reply to UnderstandingMyPain]

You are fine! I don’t typically like the word normal because nothing is truly normal... but flashbacks are to be expected... do you have anyone to talk to?

[UnderstandingMyPain in reply to BossMom2019]

I’m looking into getting a therapist

[UnderstandingMyPain in reply to BossMom2019]

I come on here to talk

[BossMom2019 in reply to UnderstandingMyPain]

So do I, I can’t afford a therapist at the moment... if you need anyone to talk to you can message me

[UnderstandingMyPain in reply to BossMom2019]

Thank you! I greatly appreciate it!

[BossMom2019 in reply to UnderstandingMyPain]

You’re welcome

[NeuronerdDoaty]

You’re normal for an abnormal situation.

[UnderstandingMyPain in reply to NeuronerdDoaty]

Thanks Neuronerd! I just never visualized things the way I did tonight, so I didn’t really know what to think of myself. If that makes sense