Feeling defeated

[Oct7skye]

I have not worked since September. It was one of the hardest decisions I have made since I have always worked. To be honest I was scared but knew I had to do something in order to properly support my children. Their needs are so demanding and not having the support makes it difficult. As a mother I have been through quite a bit in these last few years. I have fought, learned, lost, and paid my debt to society. I have my children and we are moving forward but me not working seems to cause me more stress because at times I fall short on things after I pay the bills, the I am really aggravated when I have cleaned from top to bottom, laundry wash, folded, and put up to find all my hard work undone within a matter of seconds. When I instruct my children to clean up they refuse and have the audacity to say what you gonna do and they not gonna do any consequence I give because you not allowed to spank us anymore. There have been days I felt like just throwing in the towel. Like I give them my undivided attention, ensure they have everything they need even if I don’t have. I want to go back to work to help elevate the financial struggles but the jobs I would normally get without a problem are not accepting me because I now have a felony record due to my bad decision on how to discipline my children. I can go back to my other job but I would have to go back to second shift which isn’t a option for me. I was told to apply for disability for myself since I suffer from mental health issues to help but I feel like sometimes I have lost all the way around.

[lena16]

Sending you strength on your journey, don’t give up