Hospitalization

[amyrrt]

My therapist thinks I should check into the hospital...I don’t know what to do, I don’t even want to have this conversation with my wife. I tried to go about a month ago and they wouldn’t admit me. Help!!

[quitter333]

how so? btw what do you expect from hosspital? i am literally just curious

[amyrrt in reply to quitter333]

I am not sure what I would expect...help getting me on the right meds, help with not having to deal with the outside world while trying to get a hold of my mental health. I am really not sure. Trigger Warning. I think about suicide almost every minute but I don’t actually think I will do it, but the thought is there all the time, almost like movie clips playing in my head, just flashes of different ways. The only time it stops is when I am asleep and that is because I take meds to prevent nightmares. What should I expect, anyone have experience in a hospitalization. I am pretty scared, like little kid scared...

[Hidden in reply to amyrrt]

I went to a state ward for over two months. They were abusive, made fun of us, tackled me to force meds and I was sexually assaulted. It was dangerous since it was coed and with the criminally insane, some for murder. There were fights daily and once it started all hell would break loose. Worse than jail I think. Maybe a nice one would be humane but mine is the reason I became anxious with ptsd now. I still can't shake it after seven years. Some of the meds they forced made me blind for days at a time. If I refused they tied me up and gave me shots. I had no say to what was in my body. Made me susceptible to assault while comatose on meds. The men were so violent with each other, had weapons and such. It was hell.

[NeuronerdDoaty in reply to Hidden]

This is horrible Melhall. I’ve never heard of such and no wonder you have ptsd over it. Reading it was difficult. How could they put you in a place with criminals? God bless you and I’m so sorry for your trauma.

Doaty💛

[Hidden in reply to NeuronerdDoaty]

Thank you. That's what no insurance does for you.

[Junella in reply to Hidden]

How awful--where could you report this. It could not have been a psychiatric unit in a regular hospital which sounds like what this man needs. I have a friend who has done this.

[Hidden in reply to Junella]

It was a state hospital. I was transferred for long term from the hospital one.

[Pugglesworth in reply to amyrrt]

Hi Amyrrt.

I don't see a reference to a doctor in your post. Do you have one? If not, I strongly recommend you get one. If you're suicidal get to the ER ASAP. They will help you as best they can. I had no idea what was wrong with me and I had also considered the route you are pondering. My blood pressure was out of control, I thought I was having a heart attack multiple times, I was leaving work early on a regular basis, I was having panic attacks, I was in near constant pain and had anxiety that was out of control. This hit me in my late 40's: perfectly healthy prior to that. My mental coping mechanisms broke down and failed without warning.

I told my wife I needed help and she took me to the ER. The emergency room physician gave me Ativan (a benzo) and began the process of dealing with my mental health. I had a physician who got me on a SSRI. Most SSRI's take a month or two to kick in and help. I made an appointment with a psychiatrist who brought everything together. I took Klonopin (a benzo) until the SSRI took effect (about two months) and slowly came off the benzos. Benzos help right away, but are addictive. The longer you take a benzo the more you'll need for it to be effective. That being said, they are extremely helpful while waiting for the SSRI. I still have panic attacks occasionally so I have Ativan handy for those. I still have anxiety attacks, but those are manageable.

I don't know you or why your therapist would recommend hospitalization, but mental health problems are manageable in the real world when you get the care you need.

You are far from alone in your struggles.

[Junella in reply to amyrrt]

Negative thoughts are not real but cause negative feelings. I would guess you need the hospitalization on a temporary basis. I have a friend who went into a psychiatric ward of a regular hospital to get meds straightened out. Have you had CBT theraphy to help change thought patterns? After the hospitalization it would be good to spend three weeks at a wellness center or retreat. The mind affects the body and vice versa. Look for one. I went to a wellness center in Weimar, California, and took their Newstart program. Unfortunately most psychiatrists are not giving lifestyle advice which would go a long way in healing a troubled mind. Also find a support group. Have you tried tapping to help stop anxiety at the time you experience it? Check it out on line; deep breathing too.

[quitter333 in reply to amyrrt]

Aside from proper medications, would you consider an alternative to take a year off and live in countryside, away from city and disturbances?

You can probably get any meds you need without hospitals, and if you have money, you can hire a medical sister who would visit you e.g. once a week to check up basic stats and monitor progress.

btw.. what is the source of suicide thoughts? I have been super-low in life and I came to a simple conclusion - I literally am not able to think of suicide, since

1) self-preservation instinct kicks in

2) I believe we as living organisms are quite unique among the very dead space/universe and our main task is to survive

3) most important - if you ever get so low in life you don't care about anything (i.e. you could technically do suicide, you care so little), you are actually NOT in a bad spot. You actually have crossed the line and stepped into the GOOD side again. As you are now free. Free to do whatever you wish. Sell all belonging and climb a mountain.. become pro chess player, fight people at bars, work weird jobs (like acting) you never considered, cook meth etc.

[nicetry in reply to amyrrt]

Can you receive med help out of a hospital setting? Just asking, bc it may well be that the controlled environment of the hospital would be better for you. I’ve been hospitalized three times in my life & can tell you from my experience there isn’t anything to be scared about — you just have to have an open mind & be open to suggestions & experiences.

[Kat63]

How do you think your wife would handle it?

[Want2BHappy3]

Did you try to commit Suicide? That's normally why you would check into the hospital? I live in California if I threaten suicide it would be a mandatory 72 hour hospitalization 😖

[Dolphin14]

If you are not suicidal with a plan can't they treat you outpatient?

Not sure where you live. I did a day program for a month.

Have they put you on meds? The issue is how safe you are.

You just need to be up front with your wife. That's all there is to it. Her reaction doesn't matter. You have to take care of yourself.

[amyrrt]

I do have an FNP that just weened me off of Cymbalta onto Remuron, the constant crying has stopped but now I just feel hopeless. I also have depersonalization which makes me feel even more disconnected. I am also on Rexulti. I don’t know what to do but I just didn’t get out of bed this morning, it is getting harder and harder to do that. I hate my job but I am the sole supporter of our family. This is all just so hard. I did talk to my wife (just an fyi, we are lesbians.) She is supportive and says that she misses who I used to be...so do I. This all started with a job loss 2 years ago when I went out for a surgery and they said I didn’t meet the physical requirements to come back. I was out of work for a year and then just took any job to get by. That was a different kind of hell, this job now should be everything I want on paper it is just not me, I hate it but I feel trapped. I am the one with the education so I am the one that supports our family, I am just so tired...

[Itsjustmeagain]

I'm not sure where you live or anything but there are alot if programs to help with meds and therapy and day programs , I will just provide a couple links for you but since I don't no much details it's hard to really do much.

theNationalCouncil.org can help you find a provider.

1-800-950-6264 is for nami they have referral services there website is nami.org national alliance on mental illness

Crisis text line is 741-741

I hope this helps a bit