Bad night

[Gillyflower18]

Just endured another really anxious night. The tension is terrible. It’s like your body is poised to be flung like a stone from a slingshot. Soooo much tension and discomfort. Couple that with the never ending rumination and feelings of hopelessness and depression and it’s pretty tough. I finally gave up at 3:30 and took an Ativan which I hate to do because I’m scared of them. I’m in a bad place right now but still trying. Hoping to get an appointment with my psychiatrist before my operation to get some meds I can start while I’m off work and home. I’ve made progress but I need an extra boost.

[elaine2447]

Sounds like you are getting in a state before your operation. Belive me ativan won't help. I took one november of last year as I had an anxiety attack out of the blue coupled with horrible constant nausea. Just one ativan and I felt fine, the. It got to a couple a week. Then 3 a week and finally one every day until after 10 months I realised I was addicted to them I've had to join a benzo recovery group as gp not helpful, just said taper them off, easier said than done, so I followed the Ashton Manual and now I'm trying to taper off by myself with diazepam which is recommended as tapering device. Ativan is absolute poison as far as I am concerned and am sure it messes with the adrenals as for two months I was waking up at 3 or 4 every morning in the most awful state. I did a private cortisol 8 am blood test and sure enough reading was twice the top of the range. I've had to resort to mirtazapine which I hate but is a known cortisol suppressant and now I'm on a small dose of diazepam and mirtazapine and sleep until about 6 but still wake up in awful state. I was worrying about an Operation on my throat which surgeon has now changed his mind.

If you go to a psychiatrist don't let him put you on ativan or klonpin. I hope you get to the botyom of what is causing your anxiety. I sympathise, it's crippling.

[BonnieSue in reply to elaine2447]

Not everybody has trouble with benzos in general or Ativan/lorazepam or Klonopin/clonazepam specifically. After a successful 27-ish years at 4mg/day for GAD, I chose to taper off clonazepam and had no trouble. That was 3 years ago and still no problems and I haven't replaced the clonazepam with anything. The benzos allowed me to work and raise my 3 sons, among other things. And currently they are allowing a son of mine to survive each day with extreme anxiety. There doesn't appear to be anything else that helps him; he and his doctor have tried a multitude of drugs. My father has had no benzo addiction or trouble with his lorazepam for spasmodic torticollis that he's taken for many years.

People react differently to each drug out there. Sometimes a particular drug is necessary and the only decent answer for some people some of the time. I'm sorry that you've had a bad experience. Nobody deserves that. I hope you enjoy great health from now on. 😋💐🙏🦋🎶👍💜

[NeuronerdDoaty in reply to BonnieSue]

Thank you BonnieSue. Many people live fulfilled lives due to these very necessary medications. As always medicine needs to be used responsibly and each med works differently for everyone. Without clonazepam I would die as it’s the only thing that stops complex-partial seizures my body can take. My son also uses it for extreme anxiety.

[BonnieSue in reply to NeuronerdDoaty]

I'm glad you have a drug that holds off the seizures. I'm also sorry that you have these seizures to deal with. I hope your son is doing well...we seem to have sons with a common problem. For mine, the clonazepam causes the least amount of sweating above normal than other drugs that he's tried. And he's been able to work, which is a huge benefit. Depression control is also a large part of that. Blessings to you and your family!

[elaine2447 in reply to BonnieSue]

Taking it for seizures is something else and I am very sorry for you and your son.

[BonnieSue in reply to NeuronerdDoaty]

I'm so glad you have an answer for your seizures. I am sorry that you and your son have such critical health problems. I know a little about what that's like. It can be tough. I wish you the best now and through the holidays to come. 🤩🎉🌛💞🎼🏖🔆💜

[elaine2447 in reply to BonnieSue]

Very pleased to hear that. I think you were one of the lucky ones. If you look at the benzo recovery groups on Facebook I think you would understand more. Nearly all of them are going through absolute hell, mostly from the US but now at long last the powers that be there are stopping the benzos as they did here in the uk in the nineties, one is lucky to get diazepam for two weeks. My husband died 34 years ago when we had a 3 year old and I was on bromazepam for six years and coming back to the UK I realised I would not be able to get it and I weaned myself off quite easily despite my circumstances. I put this down to the fact I was a lot younger and it does seem the older one gets the harder it is to get off. Initially they make you feel like heaven but getting off them is hell. I never thought I would be the one to be so against them as I used to pop one now and again up until a couple of years ago if I had to have an MRI or tricky dental work etc. Now they do not work, and this is called tolerance which is grim and taking them just causes more anxiety. So now I would never ever advocate them and I am desperately trying to taper off diazepam as I have got rid of the lorazepam from 5 weeks ago but still suffering from withdrawal as lorazapam and klonopin apparently are more likely to mess with the GABA, as does xanax.

[NeuronerdDoaty]

I’m sorry about your night. You don’t need to fear short term use of benzo’s to help you get through this high anxiety. Let the pills help you. You need to be able to relax for a good outcome.

All that tension and lack of sleep is doing horrible things to your body. You need rest. Rumination is good if you can turn it into meditation. Pick some mantras. When you begin to ruminate start to repeat your mantra so you get your brain off that track. I pick lines of old hymns my grandma used to sing around the house.

I also put in ear buds and listen to rain or monks chanting. Find something you can keep bringing your mind back to when it wanders.

Sending you peace

Doaty💛

[Gillyflower18 in reply to NeuronerdDoaty]

Thank you so much! Very helpful.

[elaine2447 in reply to NeuronerdDoaty]

Short term, yes is okay.