I’m struggling

[kelsbels88]

Hi,

I was recently diagnosed with depression and anxiety and for the last two day’s I can not stop crying. I go to the toilet at work and bawl my eyes out. I’m over thinking everything, probably looking to much into stuff and not wanting to talk to anyone.

I guess I just need some advice and some tips on how to manage or cope with this. They are referring me to a local centre for some support but I’m just waiting. I just do it feel like I’m holding my shit together at all. I don’t know what to do.

Thank you for reading

Kelly

[summersimmer]

Hello! I had four bad days last week wherein I just cried all day. What I did was try to find resources about mental health so that I could feel productive while also helping myself. I kept crying while researching and hearing about other people's stories but I also found some hope. I also actively tried to think that I deserve good things and that I deserve to take care of myself. What this means for me is sleeping restfully and adequately, practicing good hygiene, and doing things that I remembered I enjoyed. If you can also take a day off to focus on yourself, I think that might be good. Hope this helps a bit.

[kelsbels88 in reply to summersimmer]

Thank you so much for replying. I had to go home early yesterday from work as I couldn’t cope. I just find it so hard to be nice to myself. I heard some where that you should treat yourself like you would your friends but I just can’t do it. I can’t just take time off because of my job although I did want to phone in today I didn’t but now I’m just crying all the time it’s like I opened a dam and I can’t close it.

Thank you for the tips did you find anything specific that might be worth a look? X

[summersimmer in reply to kelsbels88]

Sorry that you can't take a break.

I have trouble reading so I mostly watched videos. Some of them were:

youtube.com/watch?v=uKigm4N...(Not working as expected?)

youtube.com/watch?v=Rhoo48p...(Not working as expected?)

youtube.com/watch?v=VkHDLMo...(Not working as expected?)

youtube.com/watch?v=8Su5VtK...(Not working as expected?)

And this booklet also helped:

nimh.nih.gov/health/publica...

Also some episodes of the Savvy Psychologist podcast may help you.

If you ever need someone to talk to, please don't hesitate to message me

[kelsbels88 in reply to summersimmer]

Thank you so much those are great I’ll work my way though them. And I’ll bear that in mind I’m sure at some point I’m going to need to offload 😉 thank you x

[summersimmer in reply to kelsbels88]

Sure! Hope they're helpful

[Foodie23 in reply to summersimmer]

Hi Kelly. Considering all you’ve been through, anxiety and depression are to be expected. I experienced low mood frequently when we were coping with infertility and a ton of anxiety through the IVF process. I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way.

Please know that you’re not alone. I don’t recall if you’re in the US or UK. Cognitive behavioral therapy has proven to be very effective at managing depression. I found a lot of relief for my anxiety from mindfulness based stress reduction (MBSR), hypnotherapy CDs for IVF (like a guided meditation) and yoga. Any mindfulness or meditation practice would be good. I found vinyasa yoga the best for anxiety. If you have access to it, yoga Nidra is also great for anxiety. You can find guided yoga Nidra meditations on the insight timer app as well as many other meditations. For depression and anxiety, I’d also recommend adaptive therapeutic yoga or a restorative yoga practice. Finally, I’d recommend the book The Gift of Maybe. It’s small, but powerful.

I hope these suggestions bring you comfort. Take it easy on yourself, this is a challenging time. Do the things you know bring you small comforts like a cup of camomile tea, cuddled up with a warm blanket and your favorite show, journal or a hot bath.

Holly

[Foodie23 in reply to Foodie23]

I would also like to remind you that although it probably doesn’t feel like it right now, the way you’re feeling is temporary. It’s like a huge wave that’s brought you under a bit, but you will pop back up and feel better. Just try to be kind to yourself and patient as you navigate this period in your life. It gets better, no matter what happens with your journey to expanding your family. I promise. Hugs xx

[kelsbels88 in reply to Foodie23]

Holly thank you so much for replying. I’m in the uk and have filled in paperwork for a centre to provide some extra support. A different kind of therapy perhaps. Thank you for the reminder that it’s temporary. It’s good to hear that.

I hit another low on top of things yesterday with two more lots of bad news on top of everything so I broke down. I think I hit the bottom last night for the first time I cried so much that my eyes actually hurt they were sore along with my throat. I would like to say I have now come out the other side. My biggest thing with all this is worrying about what other people think and what they might be saying.

Now I’m waffling thank you so much for replying.

Kelly xx

[Foodie23 in reply to kelsbels88]

Kelly, whether you realize it or not, your willingness to feel your pain makes you really freaking strong! Please remember that. I’m reminded of the song Let it All Go by Birdy & Rhodes. I have felt a lot of the same things you’ve felt in my journey to conceiving my son. Two books that really helped me accept myself and surrender to my painful experience were The Gifts of Imperfection and Rising Strong by Brene Brown as well as The Gifts of Maybe I mentioned earlier. I’m currently finding comfort in Welcoming the Unwelcome by Prema Chodron. These teachers as well as many others have held my hand through the process. I also found journaling incredibly powerful.

Please have patience with yourself. It’s so hard what you’re going through. Just the fact that you’re acknowledging your pain is incredibly brave. You’ll make it through this, trust me.

Holly xx

[kelsbels88 in reply to Foodie23]

Thank you so much this is exactly what I needed to hear today. As it happens I have both those Brené Brown books on my bedside table and have heard good things about welcoming the unwelcome. As you said it is terribly hard and one thing I’ve been told is I’m not good at looking after myself now maybe my week long meltdown is the result of that. 🤷‍♀️ I just need to remember that I am strong and I am enough which is far easier said than done xx

[sarahmcf]

Have your healthcare providers suggested medications or therapy?

[kelsbels88 in reply to sarahmcf]

Thank you for the reply yes they have suggested medication however I would like to proactively handle this with practices and tools rather than take a pill that will make it go away but come back when I stop. I am in no way saying that doesn’t work for others but I don’t think that is the option I want for myself. They have mentioned some therapy. I am awaiting to hear from them.

[sarahmcf in reply to kelsbels88]

As long as you are proactive and have a plan. 🖤

Light and Love. 🌞

[kelsbels88 in reply to sarahmcf]

Thank you 😊

[WebMistress]

It sounds like your heart is broken. I don't know what is making you so sad, but that's my guess. Hugs~ Love yourself more than anyone else, and know that it's okay to be sad and to cry. I wish I could give you a hug.

[kelsbels88 in reply to WebMistress]

My Councellor believes it is broken for the life I thought I would have “find my hubby, get married have kids” etc and that all would naively have been ok. However with my conditions being so bad and complicated with all the issues I have faced along the way constantly waiting for and depending on other people and ultimately not have the baby I so desperately desire for both my husband and I. I feel responsible, I am the one with the condition my hubby is fine. I am the one who can’t get pregnant because of this condition and I do think that when I have had my surgery things will ease. Thank you so much for what you said it really did touch me. Xx

[Africschoice]

It may come as a shock to you but everytime you take off to the loo to bawl your head off all your colleagues will no, give yourself a break, take some time off work to get your head round it because this beast takes time to control, surprised Dr didn't advise it. Good luck with the counselling

[kelsbels88 in reply to Africschoice]

Thank you 😊 this is true. This is something that has really hit me quite hard and sadly some people have been supportive of it whilst some others haven’t. I guess people aren’t going to like it when you put yourself first

[TheBooG]

I ruin my relationship with my fiancé family and friends. I hate that I hurt the person I love. I guess my insurance isn’t good enough to get a good psychiatrist to help me find a group. I want to be a part of a group of people who knows what I’m going through. my emotions are hard to control but it has gotten better.

[kelsbels88 in reply to TheBooG]

Bless you keep going as someone said to me this feeling is temporary and it will hopefully pass quickly. I’m not sure where you are but is there anything you can do maybe by going to your GP good luck and hugs

[Pamela2876]

I am so sorry you are facing this. I also struggled with anxiety and depression for some time. I had many difficulties in my life during that time and I found that my boundaries weren't very strong. I took on many things that were not my responsibility. I would highly recommend a book by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend called "Boundaries." Finding good counseling is important too. If you are looking for help in that area I have some resources that might help. Best wishes to you!