No more bottling-up

For most of my life, I've dealt with all kinds of sad and/or traumatic events or just everyday life appearing to be too overwhelming but never talk about any of it. And when I do mention anything or try to reach out, I feel as if I'm not fully understood or even worse, no one responds when I need that guidance leaving me feeling more lonely than ever. I just want a friend to talk to and help/guide each other.

[Mary-intussuception]

Hi

I can totally understand all that.

x

[Hidden in reply to Mary-intussuception]

Thank you for your msg

[EssentiallyMe365]

I completely understand how you feel. I am going through the same thing. It is out of the blue? I know mine is and it just makes me more depressed because nobody really understands

[Hidden in reply to EssentiallyMe365]

Hi, thanks for your msg. It sort of is out of the blue but not really. I think I've just been building it all up inside me, putting on a facade for everyone else, until it erupts which is what I'm going through now. I actually had a friend, a guy from work, who was going through a breakup and became very depressed. I was there for him everytime he needed me. It unfortunately became more than just friends, I'd come over as a friend but then we'd end up in bed which was a big mistake as I'm already in a relationship. But I felt like I got something from him that I didn't from my partner... long story short, he's basically "ghosted" me and his last text was saying we were going to see each other soon and asking how I was. That's the last I heard from him and that I think was the straw that broke the camel's back with my depression lately. I don't understand what happened, I keep wondering did I do something. And I truly believed he was actually a nice guy, don't know... but at the same time it's best this way because I do love my partner and carry tremendous amount of guilt with the mistake I made. But I still can't help but think about him and why he won't respond to me anymore.

[Hidden in reply to EssentiallyMe365]

And of course so much more going on behind that issue. Work hours being cut, financial instability, sleep deprivation, unhealthy eating or not eating at all, and then of course my drinking habits getting out of control....