I’ve been in bed all day today. I’m so ashamed of myself. I feel useless. I get up then I feel nauseous and I lie back down. I can’t sleep. I have hot flashes and I begin crying. I try to get up again yet I am crying so hard. I feel again that I wasted a day. My head hurts, my neck hurts. I can’t make up excuses to my family anymore. I just want to be gone. My heart is racing. I have cold sweats. My stomach is burning. I believe I am having a panic attack again. Yet I feel tremendously sad. I never felt so useless in my life. What is my life for? If it is to live like this, I don’t want it anymore.