I talked before about how many events i have this upcoming week, i forced myself to participate in things because during it i feel terrible and like im going to die but after it i feel so free and confident and my mental state is always great when i overcome a fear, i went to get a complete physical with many doctors a few weeks ago and it was scary but i felt so brave and confident after all the x rays, blood tests etc..
I forced myself to participate in competitions , plays and charity bake sales and to my luck they are all in one week , guess god has a plan for me, but all the feelings of fear and extreme pressure are piling up , today i had severe anxiety, my left arm is really hurting and im so short of breath i can barely speak without gasping for air and feeling dizzy , i can barely walk alot or move without feeling my chest hurting , i went down that road many times but its still scary
I just hate my life somtimes , a year ago i would participate in plays, competitions , social events , parties , and feel stressed but not to a point where im worried about my physical and mental health , but now im so sensitive to fear and everything else that im in a state of fear weeks before leading up to an event, i would get it if i was nervous a day before or the same day, but im nervous about things happening in weeks