How to Heal Abandonment Issues?

[wrtndastrz]

My boyfriend and I were broke up for a month this year. The breakup was abrupt and with very little explanation besides him saying that my mental illness was hurting him. It is completely valid to take time away from someone with an illness if it is hurting you, so I respected that. But the way he handled the breakup hurt. We are back together again and a lot has changed for the better! This relationship is much happier as we are both a bit more solid in ourselves.

But I still have that voice in my head. The one that tells me every time he asks for space it’s because he wants to break up, when actually he just wants some “me time”. I don’t know how to heal from those abandonment issues that have plagued me through much of my life, but especially after our breakup. Any tips on how to heal? (I have a therapist and take medication but neither seem to help with these feelings)

[NeuronerdDoaty]

I think the best thing a person can do is focus on healing despite what anyone else does. The pressure to heal is on me. I can’t put that in anyone else’s actions or inaction. If I focus on me then the good stuff that happens is icing on my cupcake.

The only person I can control is me. I can’t put pressure on others to make my life better (or worse).

You are important all on your own. Your identity is not tied to a boyfriend. (He’s doing a very mature thing btw.)

The bigger and better you make your life the less worried you are if you leave something behind.

[Hidden in reply to NeuronerdDoaty]

I couldn't of said it better myself....

Dump trucks of groovy love, peace, light, joy and hugs for you!

Don't forget to get your happy on!

[wrtndastrz in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much! That really means a lot to me 🥰

[Hidden in reply to wrtndastrz]

You just need to sit and have a talk about your issues...however if he's there for you ..then you need to feel that and hold onto the good feeling....it takes time to build trust....just enjoy each other....that's what love's all about!

All the best for the both of you...

Dump trucks of groovy love, peace, light, joy and hugs for you both!

[wrtndastrz in reply to NeuronerdDoaty]

You’re so right! It’s like I know this in my mind, but that wounded child feels like she needs to hold onto him. I have some codependent books. Maybe I should dive into those again! Thank you so much ❤️