A Moment in Time

This place has been good for me. It's kind of like Facebook without the facade. I can be honest here in my anonymity, and I really like that. Right now, it's the last thing I looked at before I went to bed, and the first thing I looked at after going to the bathroom this morning (I know TMI) lol. I was thinking (I'm always thinking) about what I would write today. I read through some posts and thought about how I identify with most of them. I went to make breakfast and whoops no eggs (dammit I love my two soft boiled with toast). The milk was past its date (dammit no cheerios). The banana I bought yesterday didn't miraculously ripen overnight (dammit no peanut butter and banana on a slice of multigrain). What to do other than order breakfast and pay $20 dollars to grub hub (Not Happening) Go out and get some stuff you say? (also not happening) Then I remembered I had a can of evaporated milk I use for when I make flan (a traditional custard dessert) So, I made farina. I put some water, evaporated milk, sugar, a pinch of salt, a stick of cinnamon, a dash of vanilla, and a pad of butter in a pot. I brought that up to a near boil and poured what I thought was the right amount of farina granules in the pot and stirred until it was a creamy swirling pot from my childhood. It reminded me of my youngest daughter and my mom. I wanted to be quick about breakfast because even though I was hungry, I wanted to write but I got caught up in the moment of the morning, the quiet, calm around me and the love I have for my daughter and mom. The thoughts were laced with some anxiety and sadness because I fear for my daughter on a daily, just because the world makes me scared a lot, and because mom died just about 4 months ago. The feelings didn't take me over though. I poured out 3 bowls of farina, made a cup of tea, sat staring at the computer screen intending on putting down my bowl of warm sweet creamy porridge, but I got caught up in the moment. I felt the quiet of the morning, the cool October air slipping in through a crack in the window and a bird singing in the distance. I decided to finish my breakfast and sat staring at the blank spot where my words would go, and just be grateful. Thank You, God, for this moment of mixed emotions where I'm finally starting to understand myself. Thank you website for being a place I can be heard. Thank you community for reading my long-winded posts. Thank all of you who read this for joining in my moment in time. With Love Always...AU

[wiserlady]

I think I know how you feel and think you have a great, great name. If you want to be anonymous here - which is wise, very wise. Because I am a professional person I use a different name here, a different name for work, a different name is my real name that only those close to me know. You do need to be careful. You can come across some very strange people on forums and websites, or people who let you down or chatter about you.

You are really into food, so am I. It is one of my things. Not heard of farina before, but do love egg custard and portugese custard tarts, quiches, flans etc. Just had some bread and fish fingers. You are probably in the USA and I am in the UK so dont know if you have the same foods there or call them by the same names.

My partner is away at the moment and sent me a big bouquet of flowers,he did the same thing last friday, he is lovely. But the weather here is so rainy and gloomy.

Will do some more work and then settle down to watch tv and read. Have a nice day.

[Hidden in reply to wiserlady]

Hello Wiser,

Thank you for writing. You sound just lovely yourself. It's funny, I didn't even think about coming across strange people here. I thought of myself as the strange one but I suppose you're very right about that. It's a shame how there are those whose sole purpose is to hurt and destroy, but those are the people that hurt the most. I would say that most of the time that type of person is the least likely to be saved and the ones that stay in that spinning tornado of darkness and confusion, refusing to admit that they propel themselves. Most are stuck in the "I know" phase, and won't or can't look in the proverbial mirror. My heart goes out to them, from a distance Omgosh I'm sure you and I will become fast friends over food! I had fish and chips with malt vinegar not long ago...so yum! Your partner sounds wonderful too. I used to get flowers all the time, now not so much but here and there one he's picked from the rose bush outside so that still counts lol You're right I'm in the US, and things here have different names. We are surrounded by fast food. I'd much rather have fresh. I actually follow a vegan chef in the UK. She's pretty famous and got to meet Russel Brand (love him) I forget her name but she wrote this cookbook about cooking on a bootstrap. She's amazing! I'd love for her to cook for me lol It's gloomy here too, I like the fall and SO dislike the winter. I've turned into a humbug through the years, it's such a drag getting old lol I've left the typical working world, and have become a bit of a shut-in. PTSD they say though I've never seen an actual war. Too many people, too much noise, too much overspending on stuff that's not needed by (mostly women) whose prerequisite is having a stick up their butts to shop (place eye roll here) Sorry I must sound jaded but it's true through my eyes lol I am a TV enthusiast what kinds of things do you watch? I hope the flowers make you smile. Always with love...AU P.S. Thank you for the compliment on my name. I picked it rather quickly and was surprised it was even available. I do love it though Thanks oh wise one! lol Have a wonderful day