Not getting on with CBT

[rosesinbloom]

I started in the new year, it got delayed as my therapist was on sick leave, I've come back and I'm struggling.

Mostly I'm struggling with the 'any problem can be placed in these flow diagrams for a simple solution' type thing.

Also all the questionnaires too, I don't always know where I fit on a 1-10, it's not easy to do that, but those things are taken as gospel.

I've had anxiety and depression for years now, since my physical health took a decline especially, but I've had anxiety since I was a kid.

I feel like I have so many problems, and really it's just not helping.

You also need a goal, what you want to achieve out of it, but saying I want to feel better isn't enough, but that's the reason why I'm there.

Sorry, I don't know if this post even makes sense, I just feel like it's not working for me, and this is all my GP offer.

[fuji4129]

My honest reply to you would be to ask to change your CB therapist. I had CBT for 'living with depression' some years ago here in the UK and it was really, really helpful - I still use much of the tips given today. I was referred to my therapist via a psychiatrist rather than my doctor.

There was a daily activity sheet to fill in but, if I wrote 'did nothing at all today' that was fine and the therapist really understood that scoring how you felt would bring really low numbers and depressed people could often hardly function at all. Even if I wrote nothing more than 'did 10 minutes on my jigsaw site' for the whole day's activity, that was seen as really good.

The only thing I struggled with initially was fully understanding the term 'cognitive' but the therapist really explained it well. He likened it to eating raisins or something similar: you either just eat them or, if you eat them 'cognitively', you are aware of how the packaging feels in your hand (cardboardy, squishy etc), how the raisins themselves feel in your fingers/mouth, what tastes are released when you chew them etc, etc so I guess it could be summed up as much greater awareness and bodily sensitivity of what you are doing and if you can project this into your daily life, it's possible to greatly increase the tiny pleasures you can get from really simple things like stroking cats, smelling the bread you use for your sandwiches, inhaling the scent of flowers etc.

The other really crucial thing I learned was to be totally aware of the first warnings of a dip in mood and do something immediately to help myself, however small. If I am sitting thinking and my thoughts get anxious or start slipping down, I just do easy things such as get up and walk around inside the house for a bit looking at objects, touching different textures or look out of the window and find something to focus on, wipe something down with a textured cloth, make a hot drink (decaff), flick through a book or the paper (read a paragraph or two) then sit somewhere else for a while. All these things (and many others) will force your brain to focus on the new things you are seeing/handling/appreciating and these thoughts will (hopefully) replace what you were initially thinking. You would be surprised at how this can help if you can 'get on the case' quickly enough. It doesn't matter how many times you do this during the day - if it even helps a tiny bit, it's worth it.

Hope this might be useful.

[rosesinbloom in reply to fuji4129]

Thank you.

I like her as a person, and feel able to speak to her, which isn't easy for me.

But I feel it's all about anxiety, not really about my depression, which I've had for so long too, but it's all about coping with the anxiety. And I just don't feel like I'm getting along.

I think it may be too late to ask to change. I may just let this run it's course and see where I am afterwards.

[fuji4129 in reply to rosesinbloom]

Thanks for replying and I'm sorry my post wasn't much use. I hope so much that someone with real experience of coping with bad anxiety gets in touch with you soon you poor thing. Best wishes to you.

[rosesinbloom in reply to fuji4129]

Your post was helpful. It really was.

I just don't know what to do I suppose. I'm kind of stuck in my head ATM and feel like this isn't working either.

[fuji4129 in reply to rosesinbloom]

I've always wished I could do two things: first take my hair off and put it on a plastic model head before I go to sleep then put it back on in the morning to avoid it looking so awful (squashed flat at the back or side/ electrified fuzzy frizz/ sticking up ridiculously in parts won't lie flat again clumps/ general must not let anyone see me muppett style) and, second, somehow get away from the bad bits of my brain for a few hours just to get some relief from their relentless 'anti-me' whirling. That would be so wonderful. When I'm not so good my wretched brain even keeps going while I'm asleep producing horrible nightmares that seem like reality. Thanks brain!

[rosesinbloom in reply to fuji4129]

My mind seems similar.

I always wish they could really invent a pensieve from Harry Potter, and I can take the thoughts out of my mind and give myself a break for a while!!

[Hidden]

Hello rosesinbloom. I am sorry you feel you are not getting on with CBT. I tried it too and found it did not work for me at all. I just felt my issues were too severe to be helped with a straight forward approach. Since then I have had cognitive analytical therapy and found that to be more for me. I understand you may not be able to get that from your GP but it could be worth a try once the CBT has finished.

[rosesinbloom in reply to Hidden]

I think this is kind of what I ended up having, looking at the descriptions.

[rosesinbloom]

Just thought I would update this thread.

After I wrote this post I had a really stressful week, my anxiety was so bad I couldn't control it.

I was thinking my therapy wasn't helping at all, then I went and discussed it all, and something just clicked in me, I was wasting all this energy in worrying about things I can't control, and it would just be easier to work things out a bit before I got there and I actually can make good decisions.

Anyway, since that session, things changed, and stressful things happened, but I learnt how to deal with them. I would write things down and problem solve them.

For a few months now my scores have been very low, a place they've never really been at all, and consistent in that it's lasted.

My CBT therapist was really pleased and happy (even saying I'd made the end of her year with how far I've come) which was nice and I feel really different. Also, over here in the UK, the election has happened, and for those of us with health issues, it's not a good result to say the least, but I've managed to keep a lid on my anxiety, I can't change anything, so there seems no point in making myself ill over things I can't control.

Something has clicked, I hope it lasts, but for now I have had a respite from my extreme MH issues, which have been there since I became an adult.