writing and depression: anyone here who... - Anxiety and Depre...

Anxiety and Depression Support

63,272 members62,221 posts

writing and depression

ayanakahara profile image

anyone here who is a prolific writer before they were depressed and is now struggling to still be passionate over it especially that depression seems to gnaw at your heart and disabling you to feel any thrill in your life? i'd really like to know if there are other people out there who is in such a grey zone in their life. it really sucks to be in here because i feel so helpless and hopeless, like i can never do anything in my life anymore.

41 Replies

I was a writer before depression got worse. I wrote poetry and had some published. I have only written one poem when my fil passed in 12 years. I get it.

ayanakahara profile image
ayanakahara in reply to

i'm curious on how you cope with it? do u still write now or things have changed since then? not being able to write is actually what pushed me to ask for help because i've been enduring depression for 2-3 years but now i'm scared that after all the treatment, if i would become someone very different from my past, i would lose everything even my passion for writing. and btw thank you so much for responding. relieve to know i'm not the only case.

in reply to ayanakahara

I am just so busy now with a child and I don't have time. At first I wrote dark stuff and then joyful when I got married and was pregnant. I miss it but can't settle my mind to write right now.

I am a different person now. Less smiling, joking etc. I am stronger though.

ayanakahara profile image
ayanakahara in reply to

so i guess it's a different journey for everyone.... from your testimony, one thing's sure: i'll change after everything and there might be new things i would probably hold significant other than writing. for now, i'm still scared to know what they are because i can't really imagine a life without writing but i think it would help if i'd be a little bit curious and excited on knowing who i would become.

and to you, congratulations for being a different person now, even stronger.

in reply to ayanakahara

Thank you.

JEG325 profile image
JEG325 in reply to

I like the 'you' you are now, too! That you is an awesome person!

JEG325 profile image
JEG325 in reply to

Perhaps you do smile less but, I read the awesome comments you make. You are a ray of bright light here. And that's something to right about!

in reply to JEG325

Thank you for making me smile. 😊

JEG325 profile image
JEG325 in reply to

That should have said, 'write about'. But, the sentiment was right on (no pun intended) lol. So many awesome people on this site and you are near the top. 'So glad I met you, MH!

in reply to JEG325

Thank you. I'm glad to have met you too! ❤️

I almost totally identify with you. Just substitute watercolor painting for writing. My depression and anxiety breakdown took every interest from me. Taking a shower was like climbing Mt Everest. And forget getting out of bed some days.

I could tell I was really on the road to recovery when I could pick up the brushes again. The passion is not as strong (yet?), but the passion to enjoy my days is. Showers, meals, sunshine, friends, husband, pets, even household chores are exciting.

Therapy and meds finally working. Hang on. Have hope for better days ahead. And keep posting and let us know how you’re feeling. Lynne

i'm still on three-months medication by my psychiatrist - pretty much a grey zone, so i think it's actually normal (at least, for my condition) that i can't do anything, even the things i love. i'm hoping around the months of therapy, i'll be able to pick up the pen again and not be so frustrated with the results.

thank you for sharing your experience, it helps me trust more on my meds and upcoming therapy. and i like the part where you're not only passionate about your passion but also about life. i think that's something worth looking forward to.

It is good to believe you’ll get better even if you can’t “see” it.

thank you

Llab profile image
Llab in reply to LilyAnnepuppy

Wonderful to hear things are turning around and you are starting to enjoy the little things of life again. It's an inspiration. Keep posting.

LilyAnnepuppy profile image
LilyAnnepuppy in reply to Llab

Hope is a good concept to practice. Especially when I “feel” hopeless. Easier said than done, I know, but practicing hope and faith were all I could “do.”

Llab profile image
Llab in reply to LilyAnnepuppy

Practicing hope - I like the idea. Something to hang onto when a wave of hopelessness hits.

JEG325 profile image
JEG325 in reply to LilyAnnepuppy

I will always be there to support you, L. Just contact me when you need me. Okay?

Everyone here knows the grey and black zones. Sometimes it seems that the more you try to push it away the worse it gets.

Are you writing anything now? Are you reading? If you can handle it, there are some wonderful memoirs by depression survivors. Perhaps you could start jotting down some notes about your experience with depression, maybe just a few words here and there, and then, as you improve you could work those notes into an article. Remember, everyone's experience with affliction is unique so yours is too.

Also, are you in a therapy group? They usually encourage members to do creative activities.

Keep on posting to let everyone know how you are going.

i've been wanting to write my experiences but the results always frustate me so i end up not writing anything because even writing in itself scares me already. but i'll try. if i will be able to silence the voices telling me what i will write will never be good enough, maybe i can. but it's going to be a long process.

i'm still in medications so maybe in three months, where my therapy is scheduled, i'll be able to do creative stuff and i'm actually looking forward to that.

and thank you for giving me suggestions in dealing with this. i'll sure bear all of them in mind.

JEG325 profile image
JEG325 in reply to ayanakahara

I had completely the opposite reaction to this scenario. I wasn't a writer for the first 35 years of my life. I didn't start writing until I go depressed. My ex roommate suggested I write stories about characters that had problems like me and have them solve those problems in the stories. So, I did. 22 years later I am still writing. I always do my best writing when I'm depressed. Sometimes feeling okay or happy is a giant roadblock to my writing. Go figure. But, I now have an ever slowly growing writing group here on H/U. I also have people who live in my area that seem to want to join. My 6 person writing group may expand to 10+ in a hurry.

Maybe you might be interested? There is no pressure at anytime. We are currently working on a book which will feature the words and art of as many people as we can get from H/U to contribute. We also function as a support group for our members.

Think it over. We'd love to have you!

ayanakahara profile image
ayanakahara in reply to JEG325

as much as i want to indulge in creative activities like this, i can't really trust myself so much nowadays when it comes to my work. depression is the roadblock of my writing, not the other way around, sadly.

but i'll remember your offer. maybe, when things will be bright soon, i might go back to my passions and might consider contributing to your group.

anyways, thank you for considering me. soon, i might be interested but for now, i want to focus on rediscovering myself.

Llab profile image
Llab in reply to ayanakahara

It's natural writing will scare you, try to accept that - it's tough but if you practice it, the fear will decrease.

Recently I listened to some talks on YouTube by the anxiety researcher Claire Weekes where she goes into details about her ideas on acceptance and how to overcome anxiety (and depression).

You might find her style old fashioned (she died in 1990) but I got a lot out of it.

JEG325 profile image
JEG325 in reply to Llab

L, do you write?

Llab profile image
Llab in reply to JEG325

I'm not really a writer, I'm a teacher. I am interested in non-fiction writing and presently teach a few academics here in Japan where I live.

ayanakahara profile image
ayanakahara in reply to Llab

Woah, you're currently in Japan right now? That's great. I'm actually thinking of working there after graduation and I'm still on my path of self re-discovery so that might change, but I have Japan in mind. And I'm also trying to diverge my usual readings to non-fiction (instead of the usual fictions I love) because I might be able to read them while being with my depression.

Llab profile image
Llab in reply to ayanakahara

Your might find living in Japan interesting and enjoyable. However it can be challenging so if you do come to Japan, make sure you are well physically and mentally. I have seen several people who experienced mental problems while here. It’s bad enough when you have problems when you are at home, but it’s so much worse when you are in a foreign country.

On the positive side, many writers have found inspiration in this country where so many things are different from their own countries.

ayanakahara profile image
ayanakahara in reply to Llab

I was also thinking of the bad sides on going abroad. I know it won't be easy especially that I am suffering with something. But I'm hopeful I'll be fine, or I think it will also be nice to have some goals I can work on for me to be motivated on my treatments.

Thank you for sharing your experiences though, I'll keep them in mind. I hope soon I'll be in good enough condition to be there.

Llab profile image
Llab in reply to ayanakahara

I also think that if you travel with a friend who knows your condition it would be good in case there are any problems. Traveling alone can be quite stressful, but when I was a young man I enjoyed it sometimes.

ayanakahara profile image
ayanakahara in reply to Llab

I also love travelling alone, good company with my thoughts. But i think that aspect would change now. Thanks for the suggestions. I'll bear them in mind.

JEG325 profile image
JEG325 in reply to Llab

Interesting. Our book is non fiction and is about people who suffer various forms of mental conditions. We are looking for as many voices to help illuminate the darkness as possible.

Titled, 'Beauty & Art From Within The The Shadows', it will feature real life essays, poems, art & photos from the people on this site and even outside this site that struggle everyday.

The goal is to give them a voice too. Also to show that they have feelings, interests & abilities just like 'normal' people do. We're always looking for more material, help & writers....

ayanakahara profile image
ayanakahara in reply to Llab

i'll check that out later. thank you for the suggestion, it might help me.

Hello ayanakahara... Every individual has different talent, blessings ,dreams...

Being able to write poems, poetry etc... Is one of the best gift as m not so good in this things...

I understand you and its so sad as why we have to go through this kind of situation as depression... The word itself is so mean....

But don't lose hope ,stay strong ,try to stay positive and remember there are many people like me who wants to be a writer like you but don't have talent in it 😊 so keep writing...

Things will get better soon...

ayanakahara profile image
ayanakahara in reply to Khozo

thank you for your encouragement. it's been really hard for me and i'm starting to lose all confidence in myself. but thank u for telling me to keep going and have hope that someday everything will be fine.

and i also want to say that keep going. i, myself, doubt i'm born with a talent but i think part of what makes talent bloom is how we work hard for it. so keep on working hard on it and you'll be satisfied someday. (this might pretentious for me to say as i myself don't believe in my own skills but i do believe everyone's path to their dreams differ.)

I’m supposedly talented at writing, but I think my depression, anxiety and addiction have taken a toll on it. I was in a writers’ group for a while, until I moved about six months ago.

ayanakahara profile image
ayanakahara in reply to Kat63

we're on the same page, then. i'm a bit scared that i might lose everything after what i'm going through.

Depression really makes me feel worthless and lots of self pity that I cannot do anything and it makes me want to stay in my bed all day. But life is more to that like eating delicious food, traveling to your favourite countries, building relationship, working on your career, enjoying your hobbies. Let us be brave and fight our depression, there will be light at the end of the tunnel.

ayanakahara profile image
ayanakahara in reply to Greygal

thanks for positive words. i'll try to enjoy my life now as much as i can and focus on loving and forgiving myself for the times that i stumble.

I've gone through that. Even now I am slowly building back to being passionate over writing again. Right now it seems empty but I'm still trying because I know how much I loved it back when I wrote all the time. I'm optimistic that the situation will heal itself.

I think I'll also be watching myself build up my passion for writing, just like you. So that's..... good luck for us? That hopefully we'll be able to feel the love back after everything that tried to take if away.

I am a writer and also experience depression. The worst times in my life I could not follow through with writing. But I would force myself. I read a lot about it, too. I learned the importance of writing and not judging it. Just get it down on paper. Then I'd go back and work on it if I wanted to. One thing that may come easier than trying to craft your writing is to simply make lists. If there are images that come to you, just jot them down. Perhaps play with the images and words for a while. Then stop. Don't judge what you've written. Go back later and see if anything catches your eye then. Dig in some more. Just play. Don't judge. This may help.

I wrote prolifically from the age of 18 to 30 as a way to try to "connect" with others and "solve problems." I was in college, then working for newspapers during that time. After that I worked many years as an editor, thinking a lot, studying and polishing other people's writing. I wrote for myself through journals, letters, and poems. Playing with words. Making lists. I still write prolifically at the age of 61 and much of what I write now is to entertain, encourage, support, and challenge others. Self-expression. Prayers.

Your life in writing and depression is likely to ebb and flow. Accept this. Be gentle with yourself. Sometimes your mind just needs to rest. Don't judge yourself for how you feel or how much (or little) you are able to write. It's all easier said than done. You'll be OK.

Any writing you do for any purpose is GOOD practice in coming back to your passion, stirring it up. Try writing whatever comes to your mind for l0 minutes a day. Remember, don't judge. Go back and read it later. See if something strikes you that you'd like to write more about. Best wishes to you. I hope you will feel better soon and regain your passion.

You may also like...