Feelings

[Sodown]

Hi everyone I have panic disorder supposedly hard to believe with the feelings I have morning till night for the past 8 weeks now no change. I feel so shit the world is not real I haven't been out for 8 weeks. I feel detached I'm so edgy can't stay still hardly. When family visit it's like I try to hide how I am as a don't think they understand me I always touch things I try to keep busy daily cleaning it's the same routine everyday. My eyes feel like there asleep constantly legs feel heavy when a go into a panic a go jelly legged head feels so light hands go weak my mouth goes numb for a bit. I really need to be normal as it's killing me slowly nothing is fun no more. Worse thing is a can't even do anything with my kids as I'm so fidgety I go all hot and that's when I start going into a mental state

[BecR1025]

I understand. I used to keep quiet about my anxiety, depression, and panic. Recently I just started being more open about it. I am who I am and I cannot change it. So I just start telling people, "hey I have this going on and I'm working on it so please be patient." Some people stick around, some don't. As far as understanding, I have yet to meet anyone personally who fully understands. Other than all you lovely people on this board. I'm learning that it's okay for people to not understand, but I can still be me. So try to open up to your family, tell them how you're feeling. Sometimes just saying things out loud instead of suffering in silence helps. My close friends and family do not understand what I go through, but they are there. All I have to say is "hey it's not a good day" and we move from there.

You really should try to get yourself outside for a bit. Go outside for 10 minutes, enjoy the sounds, the feel of the sun, a breeze, and just breathe. Start feeling irritable, jittery, and worried, start walking. Movement is good. Stretch your arms, legs, neck, etc. Just get outside some. Take a quick trip to your favorite store and just browse.

[Sodown in reply to BecR1025]

Not as easy as that when my panic attack started in a store. I just worry me mam when I explain how I am she just says stop going on you make your self worse x

[BecR1025 in reply to Sodown]

When you feel panicked or anxious, write in a journal. Write whatever you want, write down your feelings, your fears, what makes you worry, what makes you happy. Sometimes I do that when I feel like I have absolutely no body to talk to or my friends and family are getting frustrated with me.

Grab a notebook and pen, go sit outside and just write. Even if it's just to describe the weather.

[Sherachi in reply to BecR1025]

Journaling really helped me too!

[Sherachi in reply to BecR1025]

My life got easier too when I opened up and taught people how to love me through it. I was surprised and supportive people where with me. It took a while, but it works for me now - it meaning being open about it. Now, people know I’m sick. They’re not thinking I don’t care, I’m not interested, I don’t love them, etc. They totally get that I’m just ill and not feeling well.

[Sherachi]

What works best for me is acknowledging my state, accepting it, letting go of the guilt, and letting myself organically go through the process of anxiety. I’ve taught my family and friends that my brain shuts me down at times. That I need to disconnect. I remind them that I’ll be there in an emergency, but that they need to give me their support by letting go of me when it’s bad. I’ve also told them I can only accept advice when I’m happy. This way, when I’m down no one is trying to fix me as that only makes me worse - I just can’t be fixed in those moments. Then I proceed to just feel my anxiety, watch Netflix, eat in my bed and shutdown. For some reasons my body (my anxiety) overwhelms me and puts me in a debilitative state. When it does I flow with it. The less I combat it the shorter the duration. I also get as many hugs as I can. Hugs help me so much. Just let yourself be. If it can’t be fixed, than acceptance is all we have. On a separate note, I acknowledge how I feel in a journal and describe my state as much as I want. Then, I follow my journal entry with how getting through the day was a major accomplishment for me, how I survived, how strong I am and I acknowledge at least three good things in my life and/or practice my positive attributions. This also helps lesson the anxiety as I ride out that storm. Lastly, remember that you are not alone in this. Many people are going through what you are and probably in the exact moment you’re going through it. We are not alone.