Trying to keep things in order - Anxiety and Depre...

Anxiety and Depression Support

47,721 members49,036 posts

Trying to keep things in order

dk2019
dk2019

Anyone been out of work or not having had structure in their daily lives for a while? It's reeking havoc on my mentality and am all over the place throughout the day emotionally and mentally. Like having things in order, and keep telling myself to just take it one step at a time and be patient, but it's tough. Especially when you're alone with your thoughts for most of the time. I make to-do lists mostly every day but nowadays can't find the motivation or willpower to carry them out. Simple things like getting up at a specific time everyday, adhering to my med regimen, and making it to the store, running errands, etc. Don't have friends around my area really, and I've lost touch with the few friends I did have once upon a time. I've got my family, which is very passive-aggressive with me, and the crisis help line people (haha).

I just want (hope) I can have a better day tomorrow. And then again the day after.

8 Replies
oldestnewest

I relate to this because I work from home and have for two decades. If I really start to spin out, I just go for a walk. It does help.

Hello dk

You have the luxury of not having a strict timetable to your day...for a while at least. Maybe you’re looking for a job?

Anyway, here’s one thing.

A therapist once commented on my daily, thorough list making.

He said 'why make lists? you will remember the important things and if you forget something it wasn’t important or you can do it tomorrow. Your lists are making you unhappy.

I thought he was mad.

I even spoke to other list-makers to gather endorsement for my habit and way of thinking.

Months later I conducted an experiment and stopped writing lists.

Guess what? The therapist was right! Damn him!! I haven’t written lists for years...(ok ingredients for a recipe).

Have an adventure today or tomorrow.

Think of a place or stick a pin in a map and walk there or bus it. Connect with people with a smile or kind word. Shop and do errands on the way back.

Look for auspicious signs i.e. I have all my doors and windows open this morning to let some cool air in before it gets too hot today. A little wren just hopped through my living room right in front of me while I’m writing to you. She just flew out the front window. How’s that for a good omen?🤗

I know you are low at the moment. We tend too add to our list of reasons why we should feel that way. Catch yourself before your list gets any heavier. I wish you well.

Yes!! I relate to this entirely.

I don’t work for 6 weeks every Summer (I don’t like saying my occupation on here, but I daresay you could guess!) and every Summer I go ‘mad’ - usually with health anxiety.

Not having structure is hard. Some people love it, I know. I’m quite envious of people who can take holidays and have a lovely time. I agree with you, it’s that being alone with your thoughts that makes it the hardest, with nothing substantial to distract you, your mind easily wanders.

I’d love to say I’ve found the solution to this, but I haven’t. I do find that sometimes I just have to force myself out and force myself to do things, even if I’m really not feeling like it. Some days I can barely get myself out of bed, washed and dressed but if I do, and can find something to busy myself with, it does help.

You don’t say why you haven’t got much structure at the moment. Could you find an organisation to volunteer for? A club to join? I know you might not feel like doing these things but something which might feel hard in the short term could benefit you long term.

Take care,

Eleanor

Is there a Sports /Leisure Centre nearby with a pool? And/or a park? How far away is your nearest Church or Chapel & are they accessible?

If you have a reason to get up in the morning it will help. Fighting the exhaustion and getting out early morning for a swim or a walk will leave you feeling better afterwards. Easier to fo if you make an arrangement to meet a friend, which, as you say is not possible at the moment.

Is there a Church near you that is running an Alpha Course? An opportunity to meet people - make a new friend maybe ??

We are all used to having structure imposed on us through work so when you haven't got that you need to make your own. I am retired now and do exactly that, but I only do things I enjoy after a lifetime of having to do things others have directed me to.

So one day a week I go to a local centre and play cards. Two nights I go out socially to play darts and a quiz. I also work 2 sessions in a charity shop as a volunteer.

You need to set up something like this as it will help you a lot. x

When I was unemployed, I made a schedule with categorized blocks for the day. For example:

9-10am: Some sort of exercise e.g. jogging or walking

10-11: Shower and make myself breakfast

11-1: Some type of chore or errand

1-2: Make and eat lunch

2-4: Go study job search stuff some where e.g. a library or coffee shop

4-5: Something social, or just relaxing at home and doing whatever I want, depending on how I feel that day

I out these up on a whiteboard and would sometimes write out what would go in each block for the day.

Regarding motivation or willpower, I definitely sometimes skipped parts of the schedule or changed things around some days. But I think just having the schedule helped me, in terms of not having to make so many choices every day.

Yes I did last year and I realized I need structure and went back to work! I was at stay at home wife/full time student but I couldn’t make the sacrifice of not having my own spending money and the isolation got to me because everyone in my classes was almost 10 years younger. So I was studying alone at the library and at home but felt so alone and out of sync with people my age. I realized I preferred the structure of working...

Good morning. I am new to the group and saw your post about being out of work. I am out of work myself right now. Financially it's not an option to be jobless long-term that being said I am forced everyday to get up and apply for jobs and hit the pavement searching for any jobs anywhere.I guess I could look at that as a blessing cuz it does get me up and motivated to start my day everyday. This past January I was in school trying to get a certificate in administrative assistants but financially the plan had to change. So as of this may I've been on a hunt for a job. It does get frustrating but after I job seek I tried to find something to do that's enjoyable with the rest of the day. I'm not an expert on how to work this site just yet but I have just today post-it my gratitude list. I really feel that does help to keep me focused and motivated. I guess what I would say to you is don't focus on what you don't have but be grateful for what you do have a job will come when the time is right. If you have to focus on something try to find something that you enjoy. I am a big breaking bad fan and the movie comes out on Netflix on October 11th I am so looking forward to that . I'm counting the days down like a child counting down the days till Christmas. Good luck job hunting. Keep me posted maybe we can motivate each other.

You may also like...