Forget it Im letting it go now, all m... - Anxiety and Depre...

Anxiety and Depression Support
45,676 members47,054 posts

Forget it Im letting it go now, all my care all determination just rolling with it now letting it all happen without help might be right

Starrlight
Starrlight

I know I’ve been one too but come on karma! I’ve become so depressed. I have let people get to me. People can be thoughtless and selfish and I’m tired of all of it.

I’m deciding I’m not going to try to be close to anyone anymore... for now probably not go out of my way to be kind, to do extra without expecting anything in return, because I’m tired of feeling like I’m all by myself and like people just use what I am to them.

I want to work on knowing and loving myself. Not selfish. I hope to be able to be kind and close to people again but right now I just will be isolating myself because I just can’t take much more.

23 Replies
oldestnewest
Hidden
Hidden

Yes!! Forget everyone else right now. Concentrate on yourself. I lost all my family, parents, brother, sister about twenty years ago and I am a much stronger and happier person since. It's sad but I don't need the guilt and superficial people in my life. I have my husband, child and mil mow and they love me for who I am and that's enough. I am a different person now and I finally love and accept myself. Take time for yourself and really indulge in hobbies, jobs, or other to build up your self esteem and acceptance of who you are. Life can be an adventure. Take advantage of it.

Starrlight
Starrlight in reply to Hidden

I like to write but my art I’ve put away since I lost motivation for it so even though I loved long ago it it’s like I can’t feel the same about it. I do love to go on hikes. My injuries are about healed so it’s a perfect time to do that. And I am very into photography. I am working on skateboarding a bit as well. I have stuff I do, it’s just there’s so much pain deep inside I can’t concentrate on things and I do too much for people. Ive been tired of living for a very long time. Life can be soooooo good but hard to explain. I just rather not be here.

I’m glad you are stronger and happier now. Maybe I can be that eventually.

jocie609
jocie609 in reply to Hidden

I can agree with you on this...

I agree that you should take time for yourself just remember that no one is an island and anxiety and depression as well as other mental health issues kick in when you isolate yourself. Take the time you need to do for yourself as needed but dont close everyone out. Also just know that although people do not always treat us the way we treat them doesnt mean that there arent some good people in the world when you are ready to reach out to be close to people again. Maybe you just have to change your circle of people you associate with.

Starrlight
Starrlight in reply to jocie609

Ok yeah

Hi Starrlight, I can relate. A "friend " stopped by yesterday and practically sucked what energy and life I had in me out. It was draining! I just wanted to scream - dont you have a home. But of course I didn't. I dont like myself much anymore but feel I know me pretty well. The reason I don't like who I am is because I am not living my life but his. Until I get out of this mess I feel I have no life. And if I try to do something I want to do I'm too exhausted and don't have the energy.

Starrlight
Starrlight in reply to All_alone

(((((((((((((All alone)))))))))) tell him you need more time to yourself

Hi Star, you can't let others make you feel this way? People are going to have an opinion and think what they will. That's All beyond you're Control, once you Accept that, that's Half the battle. I would Rather isolate myself then have people wanting to Control me. They don't understand what we're going through? Their Frustrated with you because it's something they can't fix and its a mystery to them, "What we don't understand we Judge" ?

So true! This morning I became anxious because although I chose to take care of myself and say no to someone I have this stupid guilt attached to it. Messy ... working on it.

Hidden
Hidden

I couldn't agree with you more...put yourself first...the rest will fall into place...you are so special...man I hope you know it sis! Do you for now....I think this is fantastic of you and long overdue.... may peace be with you..

Dump trucks of love, peace, light, joy and groovy hugs just for you!

youtube.com/watch?v=IYzlVDl...

Starrlight
Starrlight in reply to Hidden

Awww thanks for your encouragement and love ... love you much as always ❤️

Hidden
Hidden in reply to Starrlight

Just a reminder ..This too shall pass...maybe not soon enough for you but it will..I'm going to make it so for you.....

Hang in there and stay strong for you...

Dump trucks of love, peace, light, joy and groovy hugs sister!

Starrlight
Starrlight in reply to Hidden

You. Are . The .Best .. you get it

Hidden
Hidden in reply to Starrlight

No I am NOT...YOU ARE..you know you're in my heart at all times and will remain there forever..this bond can't be broken...oh I more than get it... Hey I saw a hawk the other day and thought of you right off the get go...now you know what that means....

More dump trucks of love, peace, light, joy and groovy hugs!

youtube.com/watch?v=KtBbygl...

Starrlight
Starrlight in reply to Hidden

Aww too killer cool that you saw the hawk; yes, good things are coming then... logically I know it... where I am now is entangled truth/positivity and also there is negativity/lies but I don’t fully believe they’re lies that’s my problem right now, some of the problems I dm dealing really well by taking action to solve the problem or get things right again ... but part of me feels some hopelessness and for good reason because I have a big problem that I’m trying to sort through but it’s too large so I may talk to my therapist some day but not for now as I just met her... my friend that you got being you... thanks for being so supportive... ❤️

I get where you are coming from. I feel much the same way. I’m a giver (aka people pleaser) and it’s where I’ve learned to get my sense of self from, if I can please everyone else I can feel good. But it’s taken it’s toll, now giving no longer gives me anything back and I feel empty and hollow. I still have to give, to my kids, husband, friends, very very part time job as a trainer but I feel nothing anymore. I think the saying is true, “you can’t love others if you don’t love yourself first”, but getting to love ourselves is the biggest mountain to climb, and sometimes feels impossible. I hope you can do something little for yourself today, a small hike, a walk outside to snap a few pictures, find something new you want to learn on the skateboard (that rocks by the way, I’m too old🙂), 5 minutes, or more if you can, an hour, a day, a week, all about you. It feels selfish, you feel guilty not pleasing others before yourself, but you have to do it to someday be able to give again, if that is what you want to do.

Best,

K

You. Are.Awesome. I like the advice and I am doing lots of it already like not making myself do what is asked and stopping what needs to be stopped the best I can ... I also do lots creatively as my expressive hobbie...there are so many detailed areas in life to work on I can’t even notice them all I bet. Just got home from the skate park took not so good shots couldn’t skate today I’m in too much pain but enjoyed watching my two kiddos. I feel I can give once I’ve gotten what I need first. But some things I just we are kind of forced into doing in life so when there’s opportunity to chill or recover let’s be all over it! ❤️

Hidden
Hidden

Hi Starrlight!! Thank you for sharing!! For being real.

It is ok to feel angry.

And it is good to hear you want to love yourself and treat yourself with love. I can relate.

It is difficult to remember that I am loved and to remember I am worthy of love like all persons when we are not treated Kindly sometimes. However, it seems people are human and weak at times and it helps not to take it too personally.

It is important to love and to be kind to ourselves (and others)- as this is what we were created for - and this is truly good for us and others too. It is hard at times. Sometimes love means saying no and setting boundaries.

Love is seeking the good of another (and your own good too). To do this, to consider what is good for you and others is loving.

It’s easy to feel bad when we don’t do more than we can at times- but the truth is that is ok and I need to be more kind and patient (loving) to myself when I can only do so much.

I hope this helps you — to affirm the need to set good limits. This is a way to show love.

Thanks again for your encouraging words yesterday. May you be encouraged! You are loved!

Starrlight
Starrlight in reply to Hidden

I didn’t really connect the making of boundaries with love but it does make sense yes. Say, II say no to someone for the safety of myself but then get treated poorly because of that choice and so and so doesn’t get what he wants so then I love him less. I think I need to love more like when I’m well I’m so loving but if I’m in a really bad place I still love but sometimes I feel anger and sadness, steals, fear steals ,negative lies steals some of my love I wish to give and hold.

Hidden
Hidden in reply to Starrlight

Thanks Starrlight. Yes for me I’m finding that mercy and forgiveness and less judgment can be a form of love. In this way, you are helping to remind me to be more forgiving of my weaknesses and that by giving forgiveness and mercy to myself, then I am loving too. :)

I am grateful for you!!

Starrlight
Starrlight in reply to Hidden

Grateful to you too ⭐️

Oh hunny I totally know how you’re feeling. Something happened to me recently that makes me want to do the same thing! And I think it’s okay to change how you are to people in general. We can be nice, but we don’t need to go overboard with our kindness. I’m so tired of being let down by others too. We should talk in PM. Tell me what happened. Maybe we can help each other on how to change things 💕 xoxo beautiful Star ⭐️

What happened was a mistake of mine so I actually hurt myself haha at least I can laugh at it! I’m so done with life though. Pm me any time.

You may also like...