Feeling down.

[HVThom]

I’m young, broke, and lost a custody case. Honestly I don’t want your solutions to my problem. I just want to know if anyone else can understand my heartbreak. I do the best I can to go day by day, but the loss is almost worse then losing my husband because at least then at some point I just knew he was gone. But with my kid. It just feels like a constant loss because they are there but I can’t have them. Any words of encouragement.

[Hidden]

I'm sorry. I was divorced but with no kids but my current husband divorced before and lost his son. I met him right after that. I saw how hard it was over the years, especially since she married the guy she cheated with and his son had to live with that guy.

It doesn't have to be permanent. We got custody six years later and everything turned out well. He's 21 now and a marine. He calls me mom now and disowned his own. Life has a way of working out. Just relax and work amicably with the father with visitation and maybe revisit custody later. Use this time to better yourself and follow your dreams.

[bluemoon2u]

My son-in-law was in a similar situation. His exwife couldn't hold a job and moved in and out of men's houses multiple times a year. The oldest one was in 9 schools to get to 8th grade. He and my daughter were sick with worry. The older one was not biologically his so he could not ask for custody of her and the judge said that she believed that sibling relationships should take precedent. At 12 in our state the child can speak on their own behalf. The younger one testified to the crazy mom's house was and asked to be moved. They have had primary custody for 3 years. Bringing her into stability has been full of challenges but she has made so much progress! I don't know what conditions lead to you losing custody, but your relationship is not lost. Not having day to day contact is gut wrenching. Continue to live a life that is a good example for the kids so when the time comes you will have evidence of stability and good judgment. When you do get to spend time with them focus on what is truly best for the children---not necessarily what makes you feel the best. Hugs.

[NeuronerdDoaty]

Yeah. I mourned a living child. I let myself. I mourned her and the relationship I had to let go of. I embraced the new relationship with all my heart. What I got to have made me happy. I faked it for awhile. I cried and used Valium quite a bit. I saw her at her ballgames and sometimes on tv. (She was one of the catchers for Team USA Softball ages 12-18.) I had to do a lot of future thinking. How can I do whatever now to make our future better? She’s 33 with a child but lives pretty far away. She goes out of her way to include me. She makes sure I see my granddaughter. I usually say live in the moment but in this case I say make each moment a building block for your teen to adult relationship. This is harder than anything I’ve ever been through so don’t minimize it. Best of luck to you. Sending you love and peace

[Marz21]

Hi, my ex partner and very close friend since we ended our relationship went through this too when his girls were 6 and 4 years old and contact was stopped with him too and made almost impossible for his parents, the girls grandparents. I wanted you to know when his eldest was getting near to turning 16 she got back in touch.

I was 21 when we were together and I had lost my Dad to a heart attack when I was 17 which was like a light being switched off inside me. I tried all I could to support my partner/friend while we were together and since because I recognised the grief he was experiencing. His children were his light. If you ever ever need someone to talk to please don't hesitate to get in touch. Take care ❤ xx