I am new here

[EmilleH]

Hello, i am having controlling issues. I am type 8 on the enneagram which doesn't help, lol. For the past 6 months i've been living with my in laws which are the sweetest btw, but i am having problems of letting go of control in fear they will control me. My husband is cool and collected wouldn't mind living with his parents until his dreams of entrepreneurship comes true which we don't know when that will happen. I come from working hard and working on your side hustle on the side. With that said, i am very independent and a loner. I feel the best and at peace when i am alone and when i am surrounded by people i tend to have a hard time because of fear they will control me. Unless we are going out with friends and having a good time then i loosen up. Everything lately seems to be a scream that's how i experience pain, like a loud airplane jet next to my ear. I am constantly feeling overwhelming. I workout, eat healthy and don't get much sleep which i try. I take magnesium, NAC and some other stuff to help cope with this. Occasionally when too overwhelmed, i take Xanax. I am having terrible mood swings and is very on edge when answering basic questions. My mother in law is in so much pain right now because of her knees and all i do is avoid the situation because of my sensitivity to pain is bringing me so much pain. What to do? I feel like a broken doll.