moderate changes sends me into a spiral

[ShelbyBay]

Hi, im new here so im not really sure how the format of these usually go but im gonna give it my all.

Im a 23 year old female and ive been living with my best friends for 3 years now. i love it here and tbh its great. My best friend who i share a floor of the house with has a long term bf of 2 1/2 years and he just got his own place and shes been staying there so frequently. its so selfish of me to want to take her away from her boyfriend because im so happy for him to have gotten his own place (hes a great guy) but i miss my friend :/ i know its a huge co-dependence thing that i have but no matter how much i try to be okay alone, i cant. i get home and then im home alone when we usually would be hanging out. i try to entertain myself by watching youtube, tv, reading ect.. but i guess i never realized how alone i feel until i think about the fact that im doing all those things and still be bored. i dont even know what im saying tbh, i guess i just needed to rant. im just really feeling lonely right now i guess

[Flymzye]

I feel like this towards my roommates right now. What you're experiencing is called anhedonia, and I feel the same way when I'm isolated. It basically kills your sense of enjoyment, and it usually hits when that feeling of isolation kicks in, and you start to question why you're doing anything if you have to do it alone.

If this resonates with you, I suggest you tell your friends that you're feeling like this and see what help they can offer you directly. They are the ones you care about, and you want them to care about you.

[BrainFog-Ninja]

Hi ShelbyBay. I’m new here too. I haven’t introduced myself yet bc I don’t even know where to start. I have felt the same way before. Loneliness is difficult. I can sometimes feel lonley in a houseful of people. Maybe be upfront and share your feelings with her, and see if she’s open to scheduling more friend time to hang out, or even FaceTime to share stuff about your day.

Do you think the activities you mentioned are sort of pre-wired in your brain to do with your friend, so now you feel even more alone when you do them without her?? What about trying some other activities that are either new, or more individually focused, like reading, or crafting/crochet, or any other interests you may have?

It could be helpful to change up your schedule so that instead of going home, go to the gym, or library, or any place you could maybe meet new friends?

And just brainstorming on ways you can feel less alone when you are. Like what about about a pet companion? A dog, cat, even a fish in a bowl? Lol. For me it’s my rescue dog that does most things with me, and listens intently no matter what I chatter on about...

I recently realized that as people come and go throughout our lives, we have to be willing to seek out what we need, and make changes to help ourselves feel better. I pretty much lost my entire support structure recently, and know I have to make some new friend relationships. That sounds easy. Not sure how I’m going to do that exactly. Any ideas?

Don’t give up on becoming comfortable with being alone...for some it is a learned skill that takes years to overcome. You can do it, if you want to. Just be patient with yourself